Better Days
Episode 8
"P... Pregnant?"
Written By:
Steven Cameron
Characters and story created by
Steven Cameron
Special thanks to:
Casey Wrenn for allowing me to use
his name and likeness as a character
Alan Holman and Banana Chan for
being so good
FADE IN:
INT. BASEMENT - DAY
Jason sits on his futon, Warrior at his side as they
listen to the radio.
DJ. FRESH BOOTS (O.C.)
Welcome back, today I got the
distinct impression that I was
going to be fired after I said
"Rape young Muslim virgins in the
bathroom of a Starbucks" on the
last program. I had high
expectations of this station and
now that they've given me the
green light on any subject, it's
go time.
Jason smiles.
DJ. FRESH BOOTS (O.C.) (CONT'D)
So, I was pondering what to say
and am forced to come back to
Britney Spears being pregnant. How
could this happen? I'm asking you,
how in the name of all that is
sacred could this freak conceive a
child with trailer trash? Give me
a call to the station; you know
the number, let me know.
John walks on screen from upstairs, he sits beside Jason.
JOHN
I had the weirdest dream last
night and this morning I woke up
and my ass hurts...
JASON
Why?
JOHN
I'm not sure; there was a camel
and a whole bunch of weird stuff
going on.
JASON
I've had nights like that.
JOHN
Are you going out today?
JASON
I was thinking about it, why?
JOHN
The usual reasons.
JASON
Soccer game on?
JOHN
Yeah, but I have given up on that.
I'm now into competitive Ping
Pong, it's great.
JASON
Really? They play that
competitively?
JOHN
Yeah, I seen it on Forest Gump
last night and thought it was very
entertaining.
JASON
Right.
John turns on the television and turns to a Ping Pong
match between a small Chinese man and an average sized
American.
JOHN
It's these China men; they are
good at any sport that requires
skill.
JASON
What about hockey or football?
JOHN
What's hockey?
(Beat)
Football is the black man's sport;
they aren't willing to share it.
JASON
Is that it, huh? I always thought
Dan Marino was white but if you
say so...
JOHN
Look son, go see your girlfriends
and leave me be.
Jason gets up, John's eyes are set on the television and
their is no way he's going anywhere while the match is
on.
JASON
Well, I'll be back later.
John ignores him, Jason walks away and up the stairs.
INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Jason enters and walks over to the refrigerator.
EXT. KEN'S TOOLS - DAY
Ken Sr. and Kenny stand outside the front doors looking
at the sign that reads Ken's Tools.
KEN SR.
What does that say?
KENNY
Our name.
KEN SR.
No, it says my name. That means
I'm the boss, not you.
KENNY
Okay, and your point would be?
KEN SR.
Jason, he's fired. I can handle
one incompetent jackass but the
two of you need to learn some
responsibilities and if my firing
him will help than I was glad to
do it.
KENNY
But you can't just fire him.
KEN SR.
Yes, I can.
KENNY
Then I quit.
KEN SR.
That's fine as well, I'll get real
employees who will work hard and
never whine.
Kenny walks away, Ken Sr walks back inside the store.
INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Jason now sits at the table with a coffee and toast in
front of him, he takes a sip of the coffee.
Danielle walks into the kitchen from the other room,
smiles and sits down across from Jason.
JASON
What's up?
DANIELLE
I was thinking about you and
decided to come over.
JASON
I see, could I interest you in
some toast?
DANIELLE
No.
Danielle puts her head down.
JASON
What's wrong?
She slowly raises her head making eye contact with Jason.
DANIELLE
What if I told you that your whole
life would change from one colored
little line?
JASON
I'd say that sucks... What's this
all about?
DANIELLE
I have to tell you something but I
don't know how to do it.
Jason gets up and walks over to her, he kneels down
beside her.
JASON
Whatever it is, I can handle it.
DANIELLE
Jason...
She looks deeply into his eye, he stares back.
DANIELLE (CONT'D)
I'm pregnant.
Jason falls backwards onto the floor unconscious.
FADE OUT.
Opening Sequence
FADE IN:
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Casey and GRETCHEN WAYNE, 16, a beautiful blonde haired
girl stand at the counter. The Clerk watches them,
Gretchen watches him.
GRETCHEN
Casey, why is that man looking at
me?
CASEY
He's a pervert.
GRETCHEN
I see, and you are to because you
are always looking at me.
CASEY
Nah babe, I'm just a love slave
with to much time on his hands.
Casey stops at the freezer, inside are different
varieties of ice cream bars and popsicles.
CASEY (CONT'D)
You want one?
GRETCHEN
Sure.
Casey opens the lid, waits for her to speak but she is
staring outside the window at a dog.
CASEY
Well?
GRETCHEN
Look at the cute little puppy.
Her attention is lost in the dog, Casey shakes his head.
INT. BASEMENT - DAY
John sits on the futon watching ping pong, Kenny walks
down the stairs and joins him.
KENNY
What's this shit?
JOHN
Ping Pong, best sport ever.
KENNY
Right.
John looks at him.
JOHN
He's not here.
KENNY
Do you know where I can find him?
JOHN
I think he's with one of his
girlfriends, try the girl next
door.
KENNY
Thanks.
He gets up to leave.
JOHN
Don't mention it, now please leave
me alone.
Kenny leaves, John goes back to his Ping Pong match. On
screen a little Chinese guy is having problems with a
much larger American.
JOHN (CONT'D)
Come on you stupid midget, win!
John edges toward the edge of the futon, he grips the
remote in his hand tightly.
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
Kenny exits the house, the garage is open. Inside Jason
sits beside Barbara with tears in both there eyes, Kenny
joins them.
KENNY
What's wrong, you'd think somebody
died... Who died?
BARBARA
Nobody's dead.
KENNY
What's wrong, then?
BARBARA
It's complicated.
KENNY
Did you two finally get together?
(Beat)
Because I'm sick of this Dawson's
Creek bullshit.
Barbara shakes her head, Jason looks up at him.
JASON
Danielle is pregnant.
Kenny looks at them, after a few moments his straight
face turns into a laugh.
KENNY
Good job.
JASON
It's not a good job because I
don't think it's mine.
KENNY
Then whose is it?
JASON
I don't know.
KENNY
Wow. So, what will we do?
BARBARA
I don't know.
JASON
We're not doing anything about it.
Jason gets up and walks out.
BARBARA
Where are you going?
JASON
For a walk.
Jason starts down the street, Kenny turns to Barbara with
a smile on his face.
BARBARA
Oh, no.
KENNY
What?
BARBARA
You know.
KENNY
What?
BARBARA
You have an idea and your ideas
never go well.
KENNY
Like when?
BARBARA
You're not getting any flashbacks
this episode; let's just say your
ideas are always bad.
KENNY
Fine but this time it's great.
BARBARA
No.
KENNY
Come on.
BARBARA
No.
Kenny looks at her with a pout on his face.
BARBARA (CONT'D)
Okay fine, what is it?
KENNY
We find out who the father is
ourselves.
BARBARA
How would we do that?
Kenny smiles
KENNY
We can hack into her phone records
and follow her around, eventually
she'll slip up and we'll catch
her.
BARBARA
I can't believe I'm saying this
but okay, lets do it.
Kenny stands up straight, he places his hand on his chin
rubbing it.
KENNY
Our names are Ken and Barbie, I
wonder if Mattel will sue.
BARBARA
Barbie is not my name, it's a name
you boys call me.
KENNY
But still.
BARBARA
I doubt it, I'm not a boney blonde
chick and you're not a fit naked
brown haired man.
(Pause)
Where do we start?
KENNY
Cut to the chase then, I like
that. I have a friend but he may
not be so... inviting.
Barbara looks at him.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Jason walks down the sidewalk with his head down kicking
a can of Pepsea.
(Legal Disclaimer Subtitle: We have been forced to change
the name because Pepsi does NOT want there customers to
think that they condone this type of mindless
entertainment.)
Jason stops and looks into the camera.
JASON
(Whispers)
Coke is better.
He turns and continues walking down the street.
INT. TRAILER PARK - DAY
Kenny and Barbara pass by a few outhouses as they enter a
grungy trailer park, a rusty metal trailer sits out by
itself.
Kenny stops Barbara and turns to her.
KENNY
Okay look, this guy is a close
personal friend. I met him in
prison a few years back and we've
kept in touch ever since.
BARBARA
Figures.
Barbara starts walking and is stopped again by Kenny.
KENNY
Wait, there's more.
(Beat)
He's a genius hacker, if there's
anything you want to know he can
find it but along with that comes
the paranoia. He is so paranoid he
thinks everyone who visits is a
cop or a fed so we're going to
have to keep cool and calm.
BARBARA
Can we get this over with now?
KENNY
Yes.
They walk toward the trailer, and approach the door.
Kenny knocks for a few moments, nothing. He kicks it a
few times, some rustling stirs within.
VOICE/NED (O.S.)
Who is it?
KENNY
Ned, it's me Kenny.
VOICE/NED
Who's that with you, a cop?
KENNY
No.
A drape slightly opens and an eye appears staring at
them.
VOICE/NED
I remember you Kenny, but your
friend is rather cop looking.
BARBARA
I don't look like a cop.
VOICE/NED
A cop would say that.
Barbara scoffs and places her hands on her hips.
VOICE/NED (CONT'D)
Take your shirt off.
BARBARA
What? No!
KENNY
Just do it, I wont look.
BARBARA
No!
VOICE/NED
Then how do I know if you're
wired, not everybody wants to see
your boobs even though they do
look nice from in here.
BARBARA
Thanks. No, stop it.
VOICE/NED
Fine, I'll trust you guys for now.
The drape closes, some more rustling and the door opens.
A clutter of smoke rushes out as NED, a 23 year old man
with dirty spiked brown hair. He wears a cheap gray
jogging suit and is in a wheelchair.
INT. TRAILER - DAY
Kenny and Barbara sit down on a bed littered with dirty
clothes, Ned sits in his wheelchair across from them with
his laptop computer on his lap.
NED
I know why you're here, you want
some Hank.
BARBARA
Who's Hank?
Ned looks at Kenny
KENNY
Forgive her, she's ignorant.
NED
Hank Williams, I live my life by
Hanks complete masterworks.
KENNY
The greatest country/blues singer
of all time, bar none.
NED
All of this crap today is crap,
nobody touches Hank. Not even Hank
Jr. or Hank III but they try.
KENNY
So, can you help us with a certain
matter?
NED
Got problems, go to the cops. Need
some dirt, come to me, I'll help
you.
KENNY
Good.
NED
What do you need?
Kenny gets ready to explain the details.
EXT. CINEMA - DAY
Casey and Gretchen sit on the curb watching cars pass,
Jason walks up and sits beside Casey.
JASON
Hey man.
CASEY
What's up, bitch?
JASON
I'm just wandering around
thinking.
GRETCHEN
I do that sometimes but I get lost
so I need to take Casey with me.
Jason looks at Gretchen and then to Casey.
CASEY
Ignore her.
JASON
Okay. What about you?
CASEY
Just chilling with my bitch.
(Beat)
You excited about Star Wars
Episode Three?
JASON
Somewhat, Vader returns finally
and gives us a glimpse of who we
see in the originals.
CASEY
Yeah, it'll be cool.
JASON
Yeah.
GRETCHEN
Who's Vader? Is he a wrestler?
Jason and Kenny look at her, she stares back at them.
EXT. TRAILER PARK - DAY
Kenny and Barbara are walking away, a cell phone rings.
They look around, on the ground at Kenny's feet a cell
phone sits ringing.
He picks it up and turns it on.
KENNY
Hello..?
NED (O.S.)
Hey, thought I'd catch you.
He quickly looks back, Ned waves through his blinds.
KENNY
What do you want?
NED (O.S.)
I'm done, she called a few numbers
numerous times. One was Jason,
another was this Wrenn fellow and
the final was Barbara.
KENNY
Thanks...
He hangs up and looks at Barbara.
BARBARA
What? I was comforting her in her
time of need, I didn't know about
the child.
KENNY
Sleeping with the enemy, huh? You
pretended to hate her but secretly
you tricked us all.
BARBARA
Shut up.
KENNY
Bad Barbie, I'm going to tell
Jason.
BARBARA
I don't care.
Kenny shakes his head and walks away.
BARBARA (CONT'D)
Wait, isn't Casey's last name
Wrenn?
KENNY
Yeah, you don't think... No, it
couldn't be... Or could it.
They look at each other.
EXT. APARTMENT - DAY
Jason walks up to an apartment door, the number is 369.
He knocks; the door opens and reveals Poppy.
Their eyes meet, she slams the door in his face.
INT. CINEMA - DAY
Casey and Gretchen sit together watching Hero, they share
some popcorn.
GRETCHEN
I don't get it...
CASEY
It's not in English.
GRETCHEN
Oh, that's why I can't understand
them. So what are they saying?
CASEY
Read the subtitles.
GRETCHEN
I can't, they're too small. Can
you read them for me?
CASEY
No.
Kenny and Barbara walk in, Casey and Gretchen turn back
to see them.
CASEY (CONT'D)
What's up?
BARBARA
Why were you talking to Jason's
girlfriend?
KENNY
Jesus, cut to the chase why don't
you.
BARBARA
Well, we're in a hurry.
KENNY
Are we?
Casey walks over to them; Gretchen continues to watch the
film.
CASEY
Don't fucking say that so loud you
dumb bitch.
BARBARA
Well tell us why then.
CASEY
I can't, it's personal.
BARBARA
Give me a hint.
KENNY
What could be so personal?
Especially to you.
CASEY
Dude, just let it go. I am not
going to tell you two anything
because it's personal.
KENNY
Did you know she's pregnant?
CASEY
Is she..? No, I didn't.
They all continue to look at each other, Kenny's eyes
veer toward the screen.
INT. BASEMENT - EVENING
The basement is empty, Jason is not there. Kenny and
Barbara come down the stairs and stop cold in their
tracks half expecting Jason to be there waiting.
KENNY
Hey Barbie, are we in the wrong
house?
BARBARA
No.
KENNY
We've entered the twilight zone,
I'm scared.
Kenny sits down on the futon, Warrior jumps up into his
lap. He purrs against his leg and lies down.
BARBARA
I wonder where he is, Danielle
seemed to be gone as well.
KENNY
You don't think...
BARBARA
No. Of course we still don't know
who the father is, we'll see.
Barbara sits down beside Kenny and pats Warrior on the
back; she turns on the television and begins to watch
Dawson's Creek.
KENNY
You can always find you and Jason
in this show, let's hope they
don't sue.
They both laugh.
EXT. HOUSE - EVENING
Danielle walks out of her house, her car is running and
the trunk is open.
Kenny walks out with some bags a few seconds later.
KENNY
Jason can never find out about
this, if he ever finds out about
it I'll lose him forever.
Danielle hugs him.
DANIELLE
I know Kenny, I don't want to hurt
him. Some day I might come back
and try this again with Jason but
for now I have to give him some
time to grow.
KENNY
Good luck.
Kenny places the bags in the trunk and closes it.
Danielle gets in the car.
DANIELLE
Take care of him, he's a good guy.
KENNY
I will... Bye.
Danielle waves and drives off.
INT. BASEMENT - EVENING
Barbara is now asleep on the futon, the radio signal
kicks in.
DJ. FRESH BOOTS
This is your favorite morning DJ.
Doctor Fresh Boots here to tell
all you ladies that my massage
practice has lowered the entry
age. I stimulate the mind and I
show love to big girls as well.
This Friday we're going to hold
some nude girl/girl massages and
for the first time they'll be
taped.
Fresh Boots snickers.
Warrior jumps on the computer chair, it spins a little
and he loses his balance. He fight the moving chair until
he is able to lay down.
EXT. STREET - EVENING
A cab pulls up to the side of the road, Jason carrying a
suitcase walks into view, he looks back at his house and
smiles.
He gets in and closes the door behind. A few seconds pass
and the taxi starts to drive away down the street.
FADE OUT.
...THE END...
The following mini series contains course language,
violence and mature themes. I do not own any copyrighted
characters therefore I am doing them out of parody and I
mean no offense.
Takashi & Friends Part 2
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the main
title, followed by a roll up, which crawls up into
infinity.
Episode 2 - Confronting Evil
In the beginning an adventurer named Takashi set out to
star in the greatest animated series ever made but once
his dreams were crushed by a much better show he fell
into obscurity.
Three years later he emerged and this is what happens
when you pay young men a lot of money to make a hip talk
show… Oh god somebody call my agent, why am I doing a
Star Wars credit roll?
INT. WHITE ROOM - LONG AGO
The room is huge; a single couch sits in the middle of
the white room. On the couch is Takashi, Elmo, The
Stormtrooper and Darth Vader whose arm is in a sling.
TAKASHI
One of our beloved hosts are gone
this week, we hope he'll be back
next week but until than he left
this video message for the fans.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Yoda is attached to machines, an oxygen mask over his
face. Yoda pulls the mask down and struggles a bit.
YODA
No hope, their is. Be back I will,
next week.
(Pause/Cough)
The force... Use it I will to
defeat you Master Vader.
Yoda puts the mask back on.
INT. WHITE ROOM - BACK TO
Darth Vader breathes/laughs as the Stormtrooper shines
his helmet with shoe polish, Takashi and Elmo watch them.
DARTH VADER
(Breathing)
I am not afraid of Yoda, bring him
on.
TAKASHI
These Stormtroopers are loyal,
huh?
DARTH VADER
(Breathing)
They really are.
Takashi turns his attention back to the camera; the
Stormtrooper continues to shine Darth Vader's gear.
TAKASHI
Welcome to this week's installment
of Takashi and Friends, this week
we will show a very emotional
interview that Elmo did when he
faced the man who violated him.
Yes, it will be a tear jerker.
Powerful, powerful stuff.
(Beat)
But first, this past week the
Walter awards ceremony aired on
BCTV where my show The Ninja's
Curse was nominated... Or was it?
Call me crazy but when I watched
and it wasn't even mentioned I
felt a shot in my heart, let down
by the lack of appreciation for
all I did.
DARTH VADER
(Breathing)
I know how you feel. I am more
known for wearing this stupid
costume and some catch phrases
than my actual work in those
movies.
Takashi hits his chest with a fist.
TAKASHI
I feel you brother, I really do.
STORMTROOPER
At least you had dialogue; I
didn't even get to talk. The ones
that talked were the "cool" ones.
I tried out for Trooper Clerks but
I was turned away, they said I was
too white.
The Stormtrooper starts crying, Darth Vader does as well
in a breathy way. Takashi shakes his head and looks to
Elmo who just sits there.
TAKASHI
You haven't spoken once today, are
you okay?
Elmo shakes his head.
TAKASHI (CONT'D)
Would you like to talk about it?
Elmo shakes his head.
TAKASHI (CONT'D)
Well I guess we might as well go
to your confrontation with Michael
Jackson.
Elmo nods.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
The classroom is a regular classroom with desks and
chairs to seat 25 kids; Takashi sits beside Elmo at the
front of the room.
TAKASHI
Are you ready to confront Michael?
We spent a lot of our budget for
the season to get him to show up.
ELMO
Elmo is ready.
Takashi nods, the door opens. A large cloud of smoke
enters the room and neon lights begin to flash. Michael
Jackson moon walks into the room and grabs his crotch.
TAKASHI
Thank you for coming.
The smoke and lights show stops, Michael extends his
hand. Takashi hesitates and than shakes his hand.
MICHAEL
Than you for having me, I'm making
my comeback after getting off that
molestation case. They thought
they could get me, I laugh at
them.
TAKASHI
You called them racist... You do
know that you're white?
MICHAEL
I'm black, this is bleach.
TAKASHI
Really...
Michael makes eye contact with Elmo, and smiles.
MICHAEL
Hi, buddy.
Elmo looks away.
TAKASHI
He's not talking to you.
MICHAEL
Why?
TAKASHI
You molested him on set of your
new film.
Michael puts his hand over his mouth.
MICHAEL
We're grown men, how can you
molest a 35 year old man puppet?
TAKASHI
I don't know, hmm...
ELMO
Elmo hates you Michael, you're not
a friend.
MICHAEL
So, does this mean I can't be on
Sesame Street next week or you
won't bring the kids to Neverland
for a sleepover?
ELMO
No!
Michael starts crying.
MICHAEL
You can't deny me the children.
Takashi looks around, Elmo heads for the door and Michael
chases after him.
TAKASHI
Wow, very touching stuff.
INT. WHITE ROOM - BACK TO
Takashi continues to sit beside Elmo, they watch on as
Darth Vader blocks blaster shots with his lightsaber.
TAKASHI
This is a rare sight; I bet this
is a world exclusive.
ELMO
Elmo scared of fighting.
TAKASHI
I know, did you know I will be
getting my series back?
ELMO
Elmo didn't know you had a series,
what was it called?
TAKASHI
The Ninja's Curse, it followed the
life of a cursed ninja who just
happened to be a teenager.
ELMO
Elmo likes television shows, he's
on one.
TAKASHI
Yes, you are.
(Beat)
I am employed again, yes!
Takashi gets up and dances around, Elmo watches him. A
deflected blaster shot hits Takashi in the butt, he falls
down and Darth and The Stormtrooper stop what they're
doing.
STORMTROOPER
Oh god, we killed him.
The Stormtrooper runs toward the door, Darth Vader
follows, they exit.
Elmo goes to Takashi's side; Takashi looks up blankly at
him.
ELMO
Elmo sad...
FADE TO BLACK.
Stay tuned, next week we'll find out what happens to
Takashi.
[
top
]
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.