Better Days
Episode 6
"This is my Show Bitch"
Written by
Steven Cameron
Characters and story created by
Steven Cameron
Special Thanks to:
Casey Wrenn for allowing me to use his
name and likeness.
Alan Holman and Banana Chan for being so
good. (New Draft baby!)
FADE IN:
INT. CINEMA - DAY
The cinema is empty, all the seats are empty. Casey sits
at the front eating popcorn and cheering as he watches
Dawn of the Dead (Remake) on the big screen.
He looks around, nobody is there. He smiles to himself
and takes another mouthful of popcorn.
Subtitle: 10 Minutes Later...
Sounds of killing and zombies play on the screen as Casey
is slumped over in his seat, popcorn spilt onto the
floor.
A loud bang rings throughout the theatre and Casey jolts
awake, he gets up and looks around. The film continues to
play in the background, he heads toward the doors.
INT. CINEMA LOBBY - DAY
Casey exits into the lobby looking around, he can't see
outside because a giant smoke cloud has formed outside
the theatre.
CASEY
God damnit.
He walks over to the food counter, sticks his hand behind
it and pulls out a shotgun. He loads the gun and heads
toward the doors.
EXT. CINEMA - DAY
The streets are filled with debris and black smoke; it's
as if a bomb has exploded. Casey kicks the doors open and
walks out into the smoke filled streets wearing a green
camo uniform holding the shotgun at the ready.
Poppy runs from out of the smoke yelling and screaming
frantically, Casey jumps back scared by her sudden
appearance and fires a shot, her head explodes and the
body crumbles to the ground.
CASEY
Oh, shit.
He looks around and sees nobody, he walks away.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Jason exits the store with Kenny by his side; Casey
dressed in his gear approaches them.
JASON
What, are you playing army men
with your friends?
CASEY
Guys, what's going on? I was
watching a movie...
JASON
What movie?
CASEY
Dawn of The Dead, good remake...
Anyway I heard this explosion and
than everything was different.
JASON
Right.
KENNY
Have you been smokin' some of that
refer?
JASON
Yeah, what is wrong with you?
Casey sits down on the curb, Jason and Kenny join him.
CASEY
Something really fucked up is
happening in this town, where is
everyone?
JASON
At home, at work and in school.
KENNY
Casey, man I'll let you in on a
little secret. You're dreaming.
Casey looks at them and than...
INT. CINEMA - DAY
Casey wakes up again sitting in the same seat, he notices
his popcorn on the ground and that he's missed most of
the film.
CASEY
That's just great.
He gets up and as soon as he gets to the isle the doors
at the top open, a blinding bright light makes it
impossible to make out anything. Two dark figures stand
in the doorway, Casey squints and holds his hands out
front trying to see.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Jason? Kenny? Is that you guys?
FADE OUT.
Opening Sequence
FADE IN:
INT. BASEMENT - DAY
Jason and Kenny sit watching a muted Banana Chan; they
stare at the picture which is the beginning of "Curfew"
where Banana has an encounter with the officer.
KENNY
(As the officer)
Why, Hello there little girl,
what's with the bunny costume?
JASON
(As Banana)
Um... I don't know, I was going to
this party and got lost.
KENNY
That costume doesn't hide your
beauty.
JASON
What's your point?
KENNY
I know who you are.
He puts his hand on Jason's leg.
JASON
Mr. Officer, are you trying to
seduce me?
KENNY
Why yes, yes I am... Is it
working?
JASON
Yes.
(He starts crying)
Your hands are cold.
KENNY
I'm so sorry for that, I was just
handling my nightstick.
Jason continues to cry.
JASON
I know but now I have to leave
you.
Kenny pulls his hand away and starts rubbing his right
nipple.
KENNY
You violated my trust.
They're interrupted by Casey who stands on the other side
of the room looking at them.
CASEY
Bad timing?
KENNY
No, not at all. We were just
reenacting this scene, that's all.
CASEY
Right... You bitches ain't gonna
believe what happened to me
yesterday.
JASON
You found some friends your own
age to annoy?
CASEY
No.
JASON
Too bad.
Casey walks over and sits beside Jason.
CASEY
This is serious; I was abducted by
aliens like in the movies. They
gave me an anal probe and I think
a massage. Weird.
JASON
Yeah, me too.
CASEY
Really?
KENNY
Me too.
Casey gets up.
CASEY
I'm serious, guys.
He drops his pants and bends over.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Look!
JASON
Jesus Christ, put that thing away.
CASEY
If you look really closely you can
see it.
Jason pushes him away with his foot, Casey pulls his
pants back up.
KENNY
We'll stop hanging out with you if
you keep showing your ass.
CASEY
Guys, they're here. We're not
alone anymore.
KENNY
You just figured that out?
CASEY
...Yeah.
KENNY
Man, Barbie, she's an alien.
Casey looks at him and smirks.
CASEY
Stop playing man, I'm not that
gullible.
KENNY
Tell him Jason.
JASON
She really is.
CASEY
Prove it.
JASON
Okay, lets go see her and we'll
prove it.
Jason and Kenny stand up.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Jason holds a red slurpee in his hand looking at Casey
and Kenny.
JASON
After I get a drink, I'm really
thirsty.
CASEY
What about your alien.
JASON
We're on the way, don't rush me.
KENNY
Damnit, now I'm thirsty.
Kenny disappears into the store; Casey sits on the curb
waiting impatiently for Kenny.
JASON
You'll be shocked; it's not a very
easy thing to come to terms with.
CASEY
I think you're full of shit; you
two bitches are always messin'
with me.
JASON
This times for real.
Kenny exits the store followed by The Clerk who holds a
broom.
CLERK
Piss off, this is not the rodeo.
CASEY
We were leaving anyway bitch.
The Clerk gives him a long evil look.
CLERK
You are banned from the store...
For life.
Casey opens his mouth and starts toward The Clerk who
holds the broom up.
CLERK (CONT'D)
I dare you punk, make a move. I
have a question for you.
(Beat)
Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do
you? Punk!
CASEY
Actually, I do.
Casey approaches The Clerk who pokes him with the
broomstick, Casey kicks him in the nuts, he falls to the
ground moaning.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Who's the punk now, Bitch? Huh,
who is it?
(Beat)
Yo, dudes, let's get the fuck out
of here.
The three of them run off as The Clerk cries in pain at
the doorway.
INT. HAIR SALON - DAY
Barbara cuts a mans hair as Jason, Kenny and Casey walk
in through the front doors. Barbara looks at them, Casey
looks directly at her.
BARBARA
What are you looking at?
CASEY
Nothing much.
JASON
Hey, Barbie. Look, I need to ask a
big favor of you.
BARBARA
Oh, not that again, give me a
break.
JASON
Well, he doesn't believe us.
BARBARA
Fine, but this is the last time.
(Beat)
I'll be right back Mr. Jones.
The four of them disappear into the back area, the man
watches them agitated.
In the back area Barbara stands in front of the three,
Casey braces himself.
BARBARA (CONT'D)
Are you sure this is what you want
to see, Casey?
CASEY
Yes.
JASON
It's a little much to handle, if
you're not ready.
CASEY
I'm ready, stop being a bitch.
Barbara grabs onto the back of her head.
CLOSE UP: Casey's face, a look of horror soon comes over
it.
Barbara's face is now in her hands, her real face is full
of boils and bumpy rigid purple skin. Casey backs up
staring at her, Jason and Kenny look at him with smiles
on there faces.
KENNY
I knew it, little bitch can't
handle it.
CASEY
Shut up, I can handle it.
Barbara walks toward Casey, he runs out of the back room
and out of the shop.
JASON
We'd better go get him.
KENNY
Yeah, people are so childish,
can't even handle the truth.
BARBARA
I'll see you guys later.
A boil pops, the puss flies through the air and lands on
the floor. The floor begins to melt.
JASON
Yeah, bye.
Jason and Kenny exit the room, Barbara starts to put her
face back on.
EXT. CINEMA - DAY
Jason, Kenny and Casey head toward the cinema entrance.
JASON
Why did you run?
CASEY
You knew about that and didn't
even call someone?
JASON
Like who?
CASEY
I don't know... Mulder and Scully.
JASON
They're fictional characters
though.
KENNY
It's not as bad as you'd think,
for an alien she's really cool.
JASON
Definitely, she knows things too.
About earth, mankind, where we go
and all of that.
CASEY
I don't know if you two know the
severity of this situation, she's
a god damned alien for Christ
sake.
They are interrupted by a loud whistling noise; Casey
turns just in time to see a large spaceship crash land
just down the street.
The three stare on in awe, it explodes suddenly sending
Jason, Kenny and Casey through the glass windows into the
cinema.
INT. CINEMA - DAY
Kenny and Casey are cut a covered in glass as they get
up, they brush themselves off.
KENNY
Where's Jason?
Casey looks around and eventually comes to Jason lying
across the room against a wall, Kenny and Casey run to
his side.
Kenny grabs his hand.
KENNY (CONT'D)
It's gonna be alright buddy.
Jason struggles to breathe.
JASON
They're coming for you.
Casey walks over to the window and sees a dozen aliens
walking toward him in the distance.
CASEY
I told you bitches they were real.
JASON
(Coughs)
And... I know I'm a loser.
Jason dies, Kenny soon joins Casey.
CASEY
Let's probe these alien bitches.
Casey pulls out his shotgun, Kenny pulls out a samurai
sword.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Why are you trying to upstage me?
Kenny looks at him.
KENNY
I can't upstage you, you're the
hero.
CASEY
Damn right, and don't forget who's
the man and who's the bitch.
They head out of the cinema toward the aliens.
EXT. STREET - A LITTLE LATER
Casey holds an alien down with his foot, he sticks the
barrel of the gun in its butt.
CASEY
I know what you're thinking,
you're thinking "How many bullets
did he waste killing my friends" I
ask you this, do you feel lucky?
The alien struggles underneath his foot, it babbles
indiscreetly in some weird language. Casey squints his
eye and pushes the gun in further.
CASEY (CONT'D)
If anal sex was a game, you'd
lose.
Casey fires a shot into the aliens anus sending green
blood flying everywhere, Casey wipes it from his face and
looks into the camera.
Kenny chops the head off of another; he looks at Casey
and smiles.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Dude, stop trying to upstage me.
KENNY
I'm not.
CASEY
Yes, you are.
KENNY
When?
CASEY
When you do those little things,
this is my show. Stop being a
bitch.
Kenny shrugs his shoulders and drops the sword, Casey
looks at him confused.
CASEY (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
KENNY
I'm out; take care of this
"invasion" yourself if you're the
star.
CASEY
But dude. I need you, you're my
rock.
KENNY
Really?
CASEY
Yes... I love you, man.
A tear falls down Kenny's face as he is overtaken by
aliens who start to eat him, Casey screams and starts
firing his gun.
INT. MORGUE - TWO MONTHS LATER
Jason lays on the table, dead. A MORTICIAN stands over
him with a bloody surgical knife, he smiles.
Danielle dressed in see through light blue lingerie
pushes the doors open and walks in; she puckers her face
up as she approaches the metal slab.
DANIELLE
I am so, so sad about Jason dying
and I never even got to suck his
dick... Not even once.
MORTICIAN
Really? That is sad, a beautiful
woman like you not being able to
properly say goodbye to your man
by sucking him off.
The mortician wipes a tear from her eye.
MORTICIAN (CONT'D)
Because I am such a professional,
I'll allow you to pretend that I'm
Jason.
The mortician drops his pants, Danielle smiles and gets
on her knees.
MORTICIAN (CONT'D)
Spit or swallow?
The Mortician places his hands behind his head and moans
loudly with a huge smile on his face.
EXT. STREET - BACK TO
The street is full of alien blood and guts; Casey kneels
beside Kenny holding his head up.
KENNY
Go on my friend, I may die here
eerily close to Jason possibly
telling the audience that I am
also a loser...
CASEY
You're not a loser, Kenny. You're
like that character in South Park.
KENNY
Stan?
CASEY
No.
KENNY
Cartman?
CASEY
No.
KENNY
Mr. Garrison with Mr. Hat?
CASEY
No.
KENNY
Butters?
CASEY
No.
Subtitle: 10 Minutes Later
KENNY
Tweek?
CASEY
Stop talking, you have to hold on.
KENNY
Mr. Hankey?
CASEY
Stop it!
(Beat)
Listen, I'll never forget that
time we acted out scenes from Oz
and played Pulp Fiction where I
was the black guy gagged and you
were the cop who gets his penis
blown off and than raped many
times by angry burly black dudes.
Kenny dies, Casey kisses him on the forehead.
CASEY (CONT'D)
(Fighting back tears)
I've never actually seen Pulp
Fiction so I just pretended to
know, my mom wouldn't let me rent
it because money was tight but as
soon as I turn eighteen I'll watch
it for the memories.
ARCADIO (O.S.)
(Ghostly Voice)
Barbara, Barbara, that bitch is
evil.
Casey looks around frantically holding his shotgun at the
ready.
CASEY
Who's there?
Arcadio's head appears through a puff of smoke, Casey
falls onto his ass staring up at him.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Holy shit! Are you god?
The head looks around.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Are you him..?
He points down towards the ground. The head continues to
look around confused.
ARCADIO
What, are you fucking stupid?
Can't you hear my voice when it's
all ghostly and cool?
Casey shrugs his shoulders and gets back to his feet.
CASEY
Wait a sec, you're that movie
friend of Jason's. I hated that
movie by the way, it was lame.
The eyes on the head squint, the earth beneath Casey
cracks and he jumps to one side.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Okay! Okay, settle down. It was
the greatest film ever made and
I'm not just saying that because
you have special powers.
ARCADIO
Anyways like I was saying...
CASEY
Wait another second.
(Pause)
How would you like to watch this
monologue I put together, it moves
me every time... Really, it does.
ARCADIO
Okay fine, make this quick. I have
Christina Aguilera waiting for me
back in my dressing room.
CASEY
Word bitch, Dirty is the best
video ever. I jerked off at least
eight times the first day it
aired.
ARCADIO
Mos def, now get on with this
performance.
Casey clears his throat and does some mouth stretches, he
clears his mind by moving his hands over his face.
CASEY
I should have killed you.
He turns and looks where he was just standing.
CASEY (CONT'D)
And I should have killed you.
Turns back.
CASEY (CONT'D)
I wish you had.
(Beat)
I saw her last night. Saw her
face... Brown Hair... Brown eyes,
she smiled at me... She reached
down and kissed my cheek.
(Beat)
I can almost remember her smell,
almost like desert flowers.
Turns back.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Her favorite perfume.
Turns back.
CASEY (CONT'D)
It's my mother, and I don't even
know her name.
He starts sobbing, than starts rubbing his own shoulders.
CASEY (CONT'D)
It's alright, son. You go ahead
and cry.
Starts sobbing louder as he turns.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Go ahead and cry. Cry. Crying will
do you good.
Knocks his hand off of himself.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Don't touch me! Maybe once you
were my father, but you're not now
and you never will be.
Turns again.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Oh, is that so?
He laughs.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Well, I got news for you. I didn't
come here to see you. I came here
to see my son... My real son. The
one inside of you. You're nothing
but a superficial shell, a husk of
flimsy consciousness ready to be
torn off at a moments notice.
Turns again.
CASEY (CONT'D)
You can think what you like. I
don't care, just go!
Turns back.
CASEY (CONT'D)
No, son. Listen to me, I found a
cure. For me. My cells can
transform too, absorb enormous
amounts of energy but, unlike you,
they're unstable. Son, I need your
strength. I gave you life. Now you
must give it back to me! Only a
million times more radiant, more
powerful!
Turns again.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Stop it.
He brings his hand up to his face using it as a close
shot of the two.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Stop? Stop what? Stop what? Think
about all those men out there in
their uniforms, barking and
swallowing orders, inflicting
their petty rule over the entire
globe. Think of all the harm
they've done! To you! To me!
He throws his hands up.
CASEY (CONT'D)
To humanity! And know this-- That
we can make them and their flags
and their anthems and their
governments disappear in a flash!
You in me.
CASEY (CONT'D)
I'd rather die.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Oh, that's your answer? Then
indeed you shall die... and be
reborn, a hero of the kind that
walked the earth long before the
pale religions of civilization
infected humanities soul!
CASEY (CONT'D)
(Screaming)
Go!
Mocks by screaming the same way
CASEY (CONT'D)
Stop your bawling, you weak little
speck of human trash... And scene.
Casey stops, looks at where Arcadio was and he's asleep.
He clears his throat waking Arcadio up.
ARCADIO
Oh, sorry. Why would you do a
monologue from one of the most
boring films ever made?
CASEY
I thought it was a cool movie.
ARCADIO
We'll talk another time, for now
you must save the world...
EXT. HAIR SALON - LATER THAT DAY
ARCADIO (V.O.)
Barbara is the one you must kill
to save all of mankind from an
alien invasion.
The Clerk from the convenience store stands outside the
door, Casey enters frame carrying the shotgun with the
samurai sword sheathed on his back.
CLERK
You shall not pass; this is not a
shopping mall.
Casey stares down The Clerk.
INT. HAIR SALON - DAY
The shotgun blast echoes throughout the store right when
The Clerk flies through the glass window landing dead on
the floor at Barbara's feet.
Casey walks in, they lock eyes.
BARBARA
You little shit; you owe me a new
window.
CASEY
And you owe mankind a lot more
than that, bitch.
BARBARA
What is your problem and who are
you again?
CASEY
Oh, hi my names Casey. You might
remember me from such episodes as
"The Four of Us" and "Three Ways
to Hell"
BARBARA
Doesn't ring a bell.
CASEY
Come on, am I that forgettable?
BARBARA
(Looks around)
Yes.
CASEY
God damnit, I knew it. If only
that "director" of ours would give
me a larger role I could break
out.
BARBARA
Tell me about it, he can't even
write a decent love story for me.
I fell in love with this director
for no other reason than the fact
he was there; I mean what girl
does that?
CASEY
Do you think he even is a
director?
BARBARA
He created us, didn't he?
CASEY
Maybe, that's a good point.
Barbara kicks the shotgun out of Casey's hand, he pulls
out the samurai sword and stands at the ready.
CASEY (CONT'D)
Time to die bitch.
Barbara pulls off her face, the boils on her rigid skin
squirt out acid puss.
BARBARA
Who are you calling a bitch?
Casey swings the sword in Barbara's direction.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
The room is dark, a light flicks on and Casey sits up. He
looks around noticing it was all just a dream, he looks
down seeing that he is sitting in a wet puddle on his
bed.
CASEY
Not again...
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
Jason sits on the futon; Danielle sits on his lap facing
him. They stare into each others eyes.
JASON
Should we take this to the next
level?
DANIELLE
I want to if you do.
She smiles, Jason manages a nervous grin.
DANIELLE (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
JASON
I don't know, I'm just really
nervous.
DANIELLE
Would it be that Poppy or Barbara
are on your mind?
JASON
No, it's just that...
Danielle kisses his neck.
DANIELLE
You can tell me.
JASON
I, I'm a Virgin.
Danielle stops and looks him in the eyes again, he looks
more nervous now.
DANIELLE
Is that it? I'm a virgin as well.
JASON
Really or are you just saying that
to make me feel better? It's
working though.
DANIELLE
I'll let you decide.
They start kissing.
FADE OUT.
...THE END...
END OF EPISODE 6, STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE COMING
SOON...