Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - MONTAGE
Jason sits on the end of the bed with his head in his
hands for the longest time.
Then he holds the picture in his hands looking at his
Jason packs his unfolded clothes, cramming one article of
clothing after the other until it's full.
He tries to close it for a few minutes and gives up
sitting back on the bed, his hands cover his face and he
lies back on the bed.
EXT. HOTEL ROOM - MORNING
A Taxi Cab sits in front of the hotel rooms, the driver
stands at the back with the truck wide open.
Jason exits the room with his suitcase in one hand and a
garbage bag full in the other, he tosses them into the
trunk and they close it.
INT. TAXI CAB - MORNING
Jason gets in the back followed by the driver in the
front, the driver looks at him in the mirror.
So, what will it be?
I can either go home and face my
friends or go to my moms and start
The driver watches him as he takes the time to think
about it, Jason shrugs his shoulders.
I don't mean to add any pressure
to your decision but you're on the
He points to the meter.
I got it, I know what I must do.
Good, where to Sir?
The cab driver looks at him in anticipation for his
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. HOUSE - DAY
John and Ken Sr. sit at the table drinking coffee, John
reads the morning newspaper.
I hope your boy comes back soon,
my son is moping around like a
twelve year old girl, and it's
Yeah, he isn't sure if he wants to
come back, that's the problem.
This town has done nothing but bad
to my son, he just can't take it.
I understand, the two of them have
been hanging around doing piss all
and living life day to day instead
of getting a real life like we had
Yep, and with all the unemployment
bugs running around these days
basically they've set themselves
up for failure. Without us,
they've got nothing.
I'm going to cut the cord soon
anyway, I can't have women over
with my son still at home, it'd be
John slams the paper down, Ken Sr. looks at him worried.
Those god damned Nazi's won again,
these Canadians better get their
collective asses going or I'll
lose more money.
What money... Canadians? Nazi's?
Huh? I'm confused.
I watch and bet on competitive
Ping Pong, I once tried Soccer but
it's really boring, then golf but
it had the same effect as Soccer
and so on down the sporting lists
until I came across Ping Pong,
it's a really good sport.
Never heard of it.
Is it anything like that game
In a way, yeah.
John picks up the paper again and continues reading.
Me and the guys play cards every
Friday night, you should come.
Do you guys play for money?
Sometimes, I mean one night the
pot got up to forty thousand and
Lester took it all with a bluff
but most nights we keep the pot
small so there's no animosity next
I understand, I think I might take
you up on that this Friday but I'm
not very good at card games.
Neither are we, we lose so much
that when we win the pots are
usually larger than you'd think.
They both snicker.
EXT. CINEMA - DAY
Casey and Gretchen sit on the curb; Kenny walks up and
sits beside Casey.
Nothing, I'm just dropping by to
see what's playing in the cinema.
Dick all, Star Wars is great
Ah, I can't watch that shit. I
like more comedy oriented films
like The Longest Yard but that
movie wasn't all that great
Your priorities are screwed up,
without your lover you are one
At least I don't watch German Goo
Girls and Chicks With Dicks.
Casey punches him in the arm.
I do not, that thing you seen was,
was something else.
Casey puts his arm around Gretchen who watches a plastic
baggy blow in the wind.
At least I'm getting some.
Kenny laughs and looks away.
Anyway, you wanna come with us to
a hockey game later?
I don't know, got extra tickets.
You can even bring the goof troop,
if Jason returns their's an extra
one for him to.
Okay, I'll ask Barbie. You know, I
haven't spoken to her in a few
days. We had like this awkward
moment the other day when she
stole some cookies from me and
they were these freshly baked
chocolate chip ones, man they were
You know that series Banana Chan?
Yeah, Gretchen watches it every
day. Sometimes I have to do all
the work if you know what I mean.
But it's on during the day, who
has sex that early?
I guess we do, well I do.
Gretchen gets up and starts chasing the baggy.
I see how hard of a job that must
be, ever think about getting a
Do you think I'd be with her dumb
ass if I could?
Yeah, actually I do think that.
Well, you caught me ha-ha.
Kenny shakes his head and gets up.
Where you going, man? Don't you
wanna hang out here?
Nah, I have to go to the store,
I've been checking the phone book
for the creator of Banana Chan.
Kenny moves in close, Casey back away.
You better not kiss me, homo.
I was just going to say, I think
Probably. That guys famous and
he's probably got a lot of enemies
that would like to see him dead
and a lot of fans who'd like to
stalk him... Kinda like you.
Yeah, like those Ninja's Curse
guys, they don't like him. I heard
that they got cancelled after five
episodes because Banana Chan was a
much better show but word on the
street is that the creators of
both series have been going at it
for years and I guess we know who
won that battle.
Kenny looks into the camera and winks.
INT. KEN'S TOOLS - DAY
Kenny sits in a chair behind the counter asleep, his head
is down and he snores.
INT. MUSEUM - DREAM
(The following dream sequence is done in an anime style.)
Beautiful paintings fill the vast long hallways of the
museum, the floors are lined with a red carpet.
Kenny appears in the room; he's wearing a white suit and
floating above the ground.
Where am I? Hello, is anyone
He looks around, the place is empty but for the slight
sound of soothing jazz music. Kenny starts down the
hallway, looking at each picture as he passes it.
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
If you find the right painting, I
will reveal myself.
Kenny stops and looks around.
Who said that?
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
Find the painting and all your
troubles will be answered as I
Kenny starts checking paintings, nothing happens.
How do I know which is the right
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
You'll know, trust me.
Kenny frantically looks around and comes to a painting
entitled "A Better Day" It's a beautiful lavish picture
of a man sitting on a bench with a black cat sitting
beside him and a beautiful landscape in the background.
This is it.
A 14 year old Buster Chan appears beside him, he looks
Who-- Who are you? Do you know my
No. So that wasn't you that led me
to this picture?
Awkward moment of silence.
What was it really like to be a
Bad, I don't want to talk about
it. I want to know how I got here,
And why are you floating, are you
an angel or a demon?
Kenny looks down and back up at Buster.
Maybe I am, is this another
future? Could this possibly be the
future where The Ninja's Curse
Oh. I think we need to leave this
place, something strange is going
Kenny starts floating away; Buster follows close behind
as they head down the vast hallway.
Baka appears as Kenny and Buster get further and further
away, he looks around confused.
Why am I here?
Banana Chan and Barbara walk on screen laughing.
Oh, silly Baka.
Baka disappears. Banana and Barbara walk in front of the
Painting "A Better Day"
Barbara lights up a cigarette and takes a long puff,
Banana looks at her.
What? It's very stressful being
friends with Jason and Kenny.
Why are we looking at this
Adam Sprite walks on screen naked and carrying his
Piccolo, Barbara and Banana turn and face him.
Hiya, it's my secret friend Banana
Chan and my other secret friend
Hi Adam. How are we secret friends
if it's not a secret?
Banana, my nirvana girl. I have
come to sing you a song.
Coolers, but I still have a
As do I.
Banana laughs hysterically, as does Adam. Barbara looks
confused as he starts playing his Piccolo.
Barbara grabs his arm stopping the song.
Wait. Did you just admit that
Not that theirs anything wrong
Adam looks around; Barbara lets go of his hand. He starts
playing again but she stops him again before he can make
No songs today Adam, frankly
you're boring and you're naked.
Where are your clothes? I mean
seriously, don't you ever get
Adam looks down and back up at them and shrugs.
Go back to the forest or I'll call
Adam turns and walks away, Banana turns to Barbara.
That wasn't nice.
You're always playing good little
girl and we all know you're really
a nymphomaniac whore with an
Barbara puts the cigarette back into her mouth; Banana
slaps her across the face.
The cigarette flies right into the center of the
painting, it catches fire and burns up just as quick.
Bitch! Look what you've done.
The two girls look at each other as an alarm begins to
ring, they run away.
INT. KEN'S TOOLS - BACK TO
Kenny now lies on the floor; a crowd has formed around
Do you think he's dead?
Should we call an ambulance?
Oh my, is that an erection?
The crowd stops and looks at the woman. Ken Sr. walks
into the store, he stands at the back of the crowd.
What's going on?
The employee is passed out on the
floor and he might have a giant
Ken Sr. pushes through the crowd and walks up to Kenny,
he shakes his head.
Move along people, there's nothing
They all sigh as they go back to their shopping; Ken Sr.
kicks Kenny waking him up.
INT. BACK ROOM - KEN'S TOOLS - DAY
Ken Sr. sits on a small desk, Kenny sits in a chair
directly in front of him.
Son, I'm not too sure of what I
can say at this point.
That's not enough this time,
you're always sorry and well I
just don't know what to do with
What can I tell you?
Kenny looks at him, Ken Sr. avoids looking back.
Kenny, I want you to pack your
stuff at the house.
I want you to leave, I feel like
you've taken everything I've
taught and pissed it away.
Can you honestly do this? I don't
have anywhere to go.
Isn't that the point, it's a
When can I come home?
Ken Sr. looks up at Kenny now, a tear has formed in the
corner of Kenny's eyes. He gets to his feet and walks to
That's fine. From this point on I
don't want to ever hear from you
again, you are dead to me.
Kenny walks out of the back room, Ken Sr. cries silently
into his hands.
EXT. KEN'S TOOLS - DAY
The door flies open, Kenny walks out and slams the door
behind him. He walks over to a wall and punches it; he
pulls his hand back with a look of pain on his face.
Hey, man, what's wrong?
He turns from the wall, Jason stands right in front of
him. Kenny grabs Jason in a hug; Jason holds his arms out
to his side.
What's with this?
I'm just so glad to see you again,
I really missed you.
I've only been gone for a day.
Still man, it was too long.
Jason slowly pushes him off.
So, what's been going on?
I wandered around town, talked to
Casey. Same old shit different
And now my father just kicked me
out of the house, I'm homeless.
Yeah, Tell me about it.
You can come live with me until
you get back on your feet... if
Jason puts his arm around Kenny as they walk down the
This is the beginning of a new
chapter in our lives.
They continue walking.
EXT. HAIR SALON - DAY
Barbara stands outside smoking, Jason and Kenny approach
from across the road. She looks at Jason, hides the
cigarette behind her back and waits for them to arrive.
Jason and Kenny walk up beside her, they all smile and
nobody says anything.
Damn, this is awkward.
Why is it though?
I don't know. It seems like we
always have these never ending
And it's a sign for you two to
finally get together and cut out
the Dawson's Creek moments because
we only have thirty minutes.
Fine, shoot the messenger but you
know I'm right, I always am.
Kenny walks away.
Smoke raises from behind Barbara's back, Jason notices
You're on fire.
He points, she turns around revealing the cigarette in
Oh, I see... I thought we had made
a promise to quit, together,
Jason looks at her, she looks back.
EXT. BARN - FLASHBACK
Barbara and Jason lean up against the back of the barn
Barbie, I think we should quit...
Today, cold turkey, you know?
You really think so? I mean, I
will if you will.
Jason butts his cigarette out in the grass; Barbara takes
one last drag before doing the same.
Today we make a pact to never
smoke cigarettes again or we will
burn in hell.
Isn't that a little extreme?
I guess. Okay, or else we'll be
forced to live on minimum wage.
Barbara looks at him about to say something but stops and
nods in agreement.
Now let's make love, baby...
They kiss and fall backwards into the grass.
EXT. HAIR SALON - BACK TO
Barbara quickly butts the cigarette out and tosses it
Yeah, we did... I did... But with
everything that's been going on I
just couldn't help myself.
Wait. That last part never
No, I'd remember something like
Oh. What was I thinking about
That's right, it was another girl.
I'd say so.
Jason stands looking up in a daydream, Kenny walks back
Kiss and make up? Good, let's go
to the arena and watch some
What? Why? Since when do we like
Since about... Two hours ago give
Whatever man, as long as they have
Do I have to come?
Of course, Casey gave us all
tickets, we can't not go.
He's our friend, duh.
He's your friend, not mine.
Jason puts his arms around them both and starts walking.
We're all going; I want to spend
some time with my two best
Fine, guilt me into it.
But if he touches my boob again
I'll kick him in the balls.
Somehow I think he'd enjoy that.
They laugh; Kenny stops and breaks Jason's hold on his
shoulders. He frantically starts checking his pockets as
the two look at him.
Dude, I think I lost the tickets.
Really? You mean for once I'm not
the dumb one?
You're still dumb but it seems
I've joined you on this off day.
Jesus, you guys make a girl crazy.
Kenny checks his pockets and throws his head back
He never gave them to me.
They all laugh, Jason puts his arms around them both
again and they walk down the sidewalk toward the arena.
INT. ARENA - EVENING
The arena seats are mostly empty, a hockey game is on in
full force on the ice, one team wears blue the other
wears a dark red. Jason, Kenny, Barbara and Casey sit all
by themselves at a section of seats.
Jason and Kenny sit beside each other and Barbara and
Casey sit in front a row below beside each other, Barbara
looks up at them with an angry look and Jason mouths the
Where is Gretchen?
Casey looks at her.
I don't fucking know.
Casey scoffs and watches the hockey game.
EXT. CINEMA - SAME MOMENT
Gretchen stands in the middle of the street with cars
passing by honking with drivers yelling profanities at
Casey? Where are you? Casey!
Cars continue by as she comes closer and closer to being
INT. ARENA - EVENING
Number six on the blue team scores and the team
celebrates the goal.
Casey looks back at Jason and Kenny.
That's Peter Richards, star player
for the Road Dogs, the other team
from our little town of Alberton.
We're playing them next week and I
wanted to scout them, I hate this
guys guts and I really want to
Wait, you're on a hockey team?
Yeah, parents signed me up after
they caught me uh... Handling my
Who knew I would enjoy it as much
as I did. If my team could beat
these guys just once, I'd be
Number six scores again, the scoreboard reads 5 - 1.
Casey wipes some sweat from his forehead.
I haven't been able to find a
weakness in his game; I might have
to bitch slap him at school.
Or you could play fair.
Casey looks at her breasts.
I'm sorry, did you say something?
All I heard was I'm a dirty whore
touch my boobies, can I?
No! Jesus Christ, you're always
such a pervert.
Barbara gets up, turns quickly and walks away.
Casey looks to Kenny, Kenny shrugs.
Guess it's that time of the month.
Number six assists a goal this time and Casey moans in
Why don't you annoy him like you
do everyone else?
Why don't you run away again, like
a stupid bitch.
Jason shakes his head and gets up.
I was just trying to help.
Jason walks away, Casey moves beside Kenny.
Yeah, that's right. Run away again
Jason, it solves all of your
What's up with you, man? I try and
be your friend and bring you into
our group and you keep screwing it
up this way.
If you can't learn to get along
with my friends, I can't hang out
with you anymore.
Kenny gets up, Casey grabs his arm but Kenny pulls it
Kenny looks at him.
Sorry won't cut it this time, man.
If you want to hang with us you're
going to have to work with us and
not against us.
Kenny pats him on the shoulder and starts walking after
Jason, Casey sits back down and puts his head in his
Peter Richards in his gear approaches Casey, he smiles at
Little baby going to cry? Does he
need his mommy?
Casey looks up, sees him and wipes away the tears like
sweat. He gets to his feet and into Peter's face.
I've got your number, Petey...
It's B-I-T-C-H, no wait that's
your mom. Sorry, I get mixed up
Peter pushes him back down into his seat.
You're very funny, Casey. Let's
see how funny you are when I'm
kicking your ass.
It's on, bitch. Next week during
the game I'll be looking for you,
Casey gets up, Peter laughs in his face.
Yeah, we'll fight but I think we
should fight tomorrow at school,
behind the bleachers.
What do you say? Or are you
He starts making chicken noises.
I'll be there mother-fucker and
I'll take with me your pride.
I already have yours, boy.
Peter pushes him down once again and walks off laughing
hysterically; Casey gets up and watches him leave.
The following mini series contains course language,
violence and mature themes. I do not own any copyrighted
characters therefore I am doing them out of parody and I
mean no offense to it's creators.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Takashi and Yoda with their swords in hand at the ready.
This is very exciting, thank you
for training me in the ways of the
A pleasure, it was.
They continue on, Takashi stops.
Master Yoda, why is Darth Vader
Consumed by the dark side, young
Skywalker? He's related to Luke?
The lovable good guy? How can this
Really long story, that is.
I see. And you probably don't want
to go into it right now because of
this mission we're on..? Yeah,
that's definitely it.
Takashi catches up to Yoda who continues to walk forward.
INT. PARK - DAY
The Stormtrooper sits on a bench with a box of chocolates
on his lap, Takashi sits beside him.
Where is he?
Life. It is like a box of
chocolates, you never really do
know what you're going to get.
True but if it's just a box of
Turtles then you get exactly what
Or do you? Think about it.
I will but what are you doing
Master Vader sent me here to wait
for you, he said he'd be in the
Matrix when you're ready to fight
The final battle is coming
Takashi, I hope you're ready...
He laughs hysterically and pulls out a blaster pistol, he
aims it at Takashi.
You don't want to do that.
He waves his hand out in front of him, the Stormtrooper
lowers the pistol.
I don't want to do it but I have
He fights the manipulation, pulls the pistol up and fires
it at Takashi who dodges with superhuman speed.
Takashi pulls out his sword and cuts the Stormtroopers
head off, the body falls beside the head.
I guess I'm going into the Matrix
but how do I get in there?
A white door magically appears, Takashi walks up to it.
He opens the door and a blinding light shines out, he
enters and closes the door.
FADE TO BLACK.
...TO BE CONTINUED...
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.