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Copyright (c) 2011 This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
THE GUN
EXT. MOONLIT ROAD - NIGHT
It is the dead of night, on a deserted rural road. Two
figures approach each other from opposite directions.
MAN #1
(Shakes hands with second man)
Run into any trouble?
MAN #2
Of course. Trouble comes with the
territory.
(He examines his hand)
This much? You sure? I work for
free.
MAN #1
No, no. I insist.
MAN #2
Sure, sure. Pleasure doing business
with you.
MAN #1 turns and begins to walk away. We follow him.
Suddenly, the click of a gun is heard behind him. He turns,
and we move to see MAN #2 pointing a gun at him.
MAN #1
What are you doing?
MAN #2
I told you. I work for free. In
other words, I work freely.
(He shakes his head, confused
by his own wording)
Plus, this is where the scene
starts winding down.
MAN #1
But... the director is trying to
innovate in the film noir
industry...
MAN #2
Yeah? Well, he changed plans.
MAN #1
Without telling me?
MAN #2
Yeah. He decided you were... not
required to understand.
MAN #1
But... I take his kid to soccer
practice... There's no reason he
wouldn't--
MAN #2
I don't write the scripts, Jerry. I
just act them out. See you on
payroll.
FADE OUT
A gunshot is heard.
EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT
We see a street stretching before us. Slowly, we move down
the street as slow piano music fades in. The title, "THE
GUN", fades slowly in.
MAN #2
(Narration)
They say that I killed him that
night. They say that I pulled a
gun; shot him in cold blood. What
they don't understand is that the
director authorized it. He just
removed the scene before the script
was released to public viewing.
Dirty, double-crossing bastard.
Now it's my turn. My move. I'll
get the bastard. I'll make sure he
bleeds. I'll do it or my name
isn't… Jason Jones.
FADE OUT
EXT. CITY STREET - NOON
The camera is looking at a car's front windshield. Two men
in overcoats, AL and JOE, sit there. Al sits on the left,
looking through binoculars. Joe looks at a notepad.
JOE
So, Al, what do we have here?
AL
Well, I'd use your name in my
response, but we both know what
your name is, so why should I?
JOE
What, do I gotta do everything
around here?
(He looks directly at the
camera)
My name is Joe. Now that we've
oriented the viewer, what are we
dealing with here?
AL
Why are you asking me all of these
questions? Were you even at the
briefing?
JOE
Dammit, man!
(He leans over and whispers)
Just act like we've just received
the orders.
AL
Well, we're dealing with a
high-class schmuck. I mean it. The
cream of the crop.
JOE
What the hell kinda crops do you
raise?
AL
The weirdest kind, Joey. The
weirdest.
JOE
And it's to my understanding that
he has some connection with the
culprit.
AL
Well, we wouldn't be taking a look
otherwise.
JOE
I mean to talk to you about that.
Do you think we're being too...
conspicuous?
AL
What makes you say that?
JOE
Think about it. Two guys with
binoculars. Sitting in a car,
directly in front of a house. In
broad daylight. Then there's...
y'know...
(He nods straight ahead,
acknowledging the presence of
the film crew)
Al's face
Al gulps uncomfortably.
back to scene
AL
What was the point of your little
outburst, Joe?
JOE
I'm just sayin'... Maybe this guy's
clean.
AL
Joey, that's not our decision to
make.
JOE
Well, what if--
They both jump with a start as someone knocks on their
window. It's the CHIEF.
CHIEF
What the hell are you guys still
doing here? You have your orders!
JOE
Hot halibut, the Chief! We're sure
up Hell Creek with a paddle now...
or something...
AL
Go tell that to my mother. Let's
get going!
EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT
It is raining heavily.
JASON JONES
(Narration)
Some folks say the best place to
stop a rat is in his hive. Or nest.
Let's just go with rat-hole. Some
folks say the best place to stop a
rat is in his rat-hole. The only
problem is, most folks are too
large to fit in a rat-hole. The
problem with me, well...
We rotate the camera to see a luxurious house with music
blaring out of it.
JASON JONES
...I'm too small to fit into this
rat-hole.
INT. HOUSE PARTY - NIGHT
The party is extremely popular. Guests chat, drink. We see
Al and Joe strolling through the crowd. We follow them as
they flash their badges to all of the partygoers.
AL
Hey, Joe?
JOE
What is it?
AL
Is there any particular reason
we're doing this?
JOE
Doing what?
AL
Showing everybody our badges. I
thought we wanted to stay, you
know, incognitus.
JOE
That's the point. We show these
people our badges, and they keep us
a secret. It's a standard tactic.
AL
Where'd you learn that? "Spying for
Dummies"?
JOE
No, "Stupidity for Smart Guys".
(He stops Al and points ahead)
Wait! There he is!
AL
You sure?
JOE
Hm. He doesn't look a lot like the
photo.
AL
People change, Joe.
JOE
Not in the world of criminals, they
don't.
AL
I meant physically.
JOE
So did I. Now come on, we've got to
bring him in.
AL
He looks sort of familiar...
The lights go out. People are heard screaming.
AL
What the hell?!
JOE
You know I'm an Atheist, Al. That
means that I'm protected from the
darkness.
AL
Quick, grab my hand. We need to
make sure we don't lose each other
in this crowd.
JOE
If you say so. Hey... your hand
feels disturbingly petite and
feminine, Al.
AL
Thank you very much. There's no
time for that, though. Hurry!
Al and Joe fumble through the darkness amid cries of "Ouch!"
and "My foot!"
ext. house party - Night
Al and Joe emerge from the front door. We move backward as
they run in our direction.
JOE
Welcome to the outside, Al.
AL
Is this where we were trying to go?
JOE
Maybe. I'd know, if you had filled
me in on the case.
AL
We've got to catch this crook,
before he becomes a cliché!
JOE
What the hell is that supposed to
mean?
AL
It's an expression, I... There's no
time! There's his chopper! He's
escaping!
The noise of a helicopter taking off is heard. Joe stops
suddenly and looks up.
JOE
I don't think he's escaping, Al.
Machine gun rounds ring out. Al and Joe leap out of the way,
barely evading them. They end up on their backs. laying next
to each other. The helicopter's noise slowly dies out.
JOE
Al?
AL
Yeah, Joe?
JOE
I think this scene just became a
cliché.
They fall unconscious, and we slowly zoom out.
FADE OUT
EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT
It is again raining heavily.
JASON JONES
(Narration)
There've been a lot of rainy days
lately. I don't complain, though.
The more monologues, the better.
Most of my attempts on this man's
life were futile, ending with me in
precarious situations, bondage, and
one time, tears. Tears. Over the
fact that I couldn't take him down.
He was virtually untouchable. I
considered professional help,
but... the fruit is sweeter when
picked yourself.
FADE OUT
EXT. ALLEYWAY - AFTERNOON
We see an alleyway stretching before us. Cars can be heard
in the distance. We see Al and Joe round the corner and walk
in our direction. As they meet the camera, we pan backward
with them as they walk.
JOE
Hey, Al?
AL
What is it, Joe?
JOE
Do you ever feel lost?
AL
(He stops walking and turns to
face Joe)
Joey, I've felt lost ever since my
compass fell out of my pocket at
that disaster last night.
JOE
How do you suppose he knew we were
there?
There are a few moments of silence.
AL
I'm not even going to answer that.
They continue walking.
JOE
Well... I've got another lead on
him.
AL
Do ya now? Where is he, huh? The
bottom of the ocean? Mount Everest?
I tell ya, Joe, I can't take much
more of this. The witty comments,
the rainy days, the Atheism.
Sometimes it just... it just gets
to me.
JOE
Al, I... I'm a Buddhist now...
AL
It's not the point! I quit! This is
all too much! I love you, Joey. I
love you like the brother my father
strangled. But I just... can't take
it anymore.
JOE
Fine. Quit. But there's still a
dangerous criminal out there, and I
have to bring him in.
Joe turns and walks away in anger, leaving Al standing
alone.
FADE OUT
EXT. RURAL FIELD - SUNSET
Joe lies on the ground. He is looking through binoculars.
JOE
Well, he can't be too hard to track
down in a place like this. Hey, Al,
do ya... oh. Right.
(He sighs)
Where the hell is he?
Suddenly, a stranger's voice is heard.
MAN
Try looking behind you.
Joe stands and turns quickly. He sees a black-clad figure
with a mask concealing his face. His voice is also
disguised.
MAN
Why are you following me?
JOE
What you call "following", I call
"walking behind you in a
coincidental fashion".
MAN
Coincidentalate this!
The man gives Joe a punch to the face. A choreographed fight
takes place, as each seem evenly matched against each other.
MAN
How long have you been following
me?
JOE
As coincidentally long as you
think.
Joe takes a kick to the stomach and collapses. The man
stands over him.
JOE
Well... you gonna finish the job?
Or are you too--
MAN
Whatever the last word was gonna
be, no, I'm not.
The man raises his foot to stomp Joe. Suddenly, a gunshot
rings out. The man collapses and grips his leg in severe
pain.
MAN
Dammit! What the hell just
happened?!
AL
(Holding gun)
Next time, don't bring a fist to a
fistfight that gets interrupted by
a gun.
JOE
Al! You son of a gun--no pun
intended--what are you doing here?
AL
I couldn't let you go down without
your opponent suffering a severe
leg wound.
JOE
Well, thanks.
Joe gets to his feet and joins Al.
AL
Now let's get a look at our cul--
JOE
Ah! The cliché thing. Careful.
AL
Oh, right. Sorry.
Al reaches down and removes the man's mask. To their horror,
it is the chief.
JOE
Chief?! What the hell?!
CHIEF
What the hell to me?! What the hell
to you! You guys have been spying
on me for days!
JOE
But... we...
Suddenly another gunshot rings out. The camera rotates to
show Jason Jones, the man from the very first scene,
pointing a gun into the air.
JASON JONES
Alright, Joan, time to pay.
CHIEF
Dammit!
(He points Jason out to Al and
Joe)
That's the guy you were supposed to
bring in!
JOE
Oh, damn...
AL
So, you're Jason Jones. Joe, we
were following Joan Jonas! The
Chief! You idiot!
JOE
Well, what? That's what happens
when you don't fill me in on the
mission! I get mixed up!
JASON
I've waited all of 36 hours to do
this... Now, it's time.
AL
Sweet mother of God...
JOE
This is why I became a Buddhist,
Al.
AL
(To Jason)
Look, can't we just look at this as
a huge misunderstanding?
JASON
Don't talk to me like a cliché
resolution! He framed me for
murder!
CHIEF
Is that what this is about?!
JASON
Yeah! You told me the gun I was
using was filled with blanks! Then
you removed the scene from the
final cut to make it look like I
murdered Jerry!
JOE
Kinda messed up, Chief.
AL
You make movies?
CHIEF
(To Jason)
Are you that stupid?! Have you read
the papers since the incident?
JASON
I don't follow the news, Jonas. I
act on instinct.
CHIEF
How about yesterday's headline?!
"POLICE INVESTIGATE FILM
'SHOOTING'". In the article, it's
universally believed it was
sabotage! They arrested the prop
manager this morning! He replaced
the gun!
JASON
Whatever you say can't save you
now.
CHIEF
Hey, Jones. Is that a Lincoln brand
pistol?
JASON
(He examines the gun)
Why, yes, it is.
CHIEF
Thought so.
Jason points the gun at the Chief and fires. The Chief,
however, remains unharmed.
JASON
What the hell?!
CHIEF
That's the gun you were originally
supposed to use.
AL
Way to go, Chief!
JOE
Jeez, what a deduction!
JASON
Hmph. Well, I feel like an idiot.
CHIEF
There ya go.
JASON
Well, a gun is still good for
hitting people!
Jason attacks the Chief with the gun. The Chief is again
unharmed.
CHIEF
It's made of rubber, as well.
AL
Chief, you're all over this!
JASON
My God. I guess you're right.
CHIEF
Now, if we sit here any longer, my
leg might need to be amputated.
JOE
Apparently a gun is also good for
producing a plot twist!
AL
Just shut up, Joe.
JOE
(Not hearing)
C'mon, guys. Let's get Chief to the
hospital.
They all begin to help the Chief up.
AL
Hey, Chief?
CHIEF
What is it, Al?
AL
What would you have done if the gun
wasn't a Lincoln brand pistol?
CHIEF
Probably make like a dead tree and
not live.
The three of them support the Chief, and are seen walking
away from the camera, as it slowly pans back and up to see
the sunset.
JASON
(Narration)
I can admit when I'm wrong. I can
admit when I've done something
stupid. It's just a part of life.
It exists in all of humanity...
It's just something I have to get
used to.
Piano music fades in slowly, as the four are seen in the
distance.
JOE
Hey, uh, Al?
AL
Yeah, Joey?
JOE
(Quietly)
Your dad didn't strangle your
brother.
AL
What was that?
JOE
Nothing. Nothing.
The music settles and resolves.
FADE OUT
END FILM
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