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THE LUNCHROOM
Episode Thirteen
"Heart's Place"
Written by
Bruce Snyder
Created by
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Vincent Biga
STORY EDITOR
Melinda Waterman
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Edward Drogos
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Max Majernik
CAST LIST
Will Cooper.................................
Joel Mayberry...............................
Brian Vandele...............................
Brock Warner................................
Reicther....................................
Casey Jennings..............................
Chris Hughes................................
Stacy Cifaretto.............................
Mr. John Parker.............................
GUEST CAST LIST
Dave Attanasio..............................
Kate Davidson...............................
Coach Chase.................................
Cathy.......................................
Ryan........................................
Marilyn.....................................
Copyright © Bruce Snyder
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATE AFTERNOON
Will is by his locker, drinking a bottle of soda. Nearby
is the JANITOR. Will is walking away when it opens up
and spills everywhere onto the carpet.
WILL
Ooops.
Janitor gives him a look.
WILL
Oh man. I'm really, really sorry.
JANITOR
You know we just cleaned that
carpet last week.
WILL
I'm so sorry.
Beat.
WILL
Well...there's always a plus side.
Janitor continues to give him the look.
WILL
You get some overtime money for
doing it.
Janitor continues with the look.
WILL
You know, I should probably just
leave...
Will begins to slowly leave. He turns and slips in the
hallway. The Janitor walks over. He reaches down and
pull up a "Wet Floor" sign. Janitor smiles.
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
credits.
AFTER CREDITS:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
The halls are mostly empty. Chris and Casey walk and
talk, while heading toward the gym.
CASEY
Kate Davison? The name sounds
familiar.
CHRIS
She's this small girl. Black hair,
sorta looks sad.
CASEY
Oh! Now I know her.
(beat)
How long you've been dating her?
CHRIS
Almost two weeks.
CASEY
Wow.
CHRIS
But you know...she revealed
something to me.
CASEY
Personal?
CHRIS
(slight chuckle) Understatement of
the fucking century.
CASEY
What was it?
CHRIS
On the night we decided to make
something out of our nice little
conversations, we were both high on
this feeling. It was this weird
feeling you get in your gut when
you get near a girl? Know what I'm
talking about?
CASEY
I do get a feeling in my stomach
like that. But that's because I
have a bleeding ulcer.
CHRIS
Well this feeling, I guess, made us
a bit stupid. Because we starting
saying deep personal shit. You know,
she says something personal about
her family, then I rely with talk
about life in England. Well we were
going back and forth, and she
mentions how she use to be suicidal.
CASEY
Really?
CHRIS
Yeah.
CASEY
What kind was she?
CHRIS
Whadda' mean what kind?
CASEY
I mean was she one of these girls
who actually tired to kill herself
by like, trying to slit her wrists.
Or was she a girl who was just
really depressed and hated life and
tried to overdose on Tylenol?
CHRIS
The first one. I saw some scars on
her wrist.
CASEY
But she's okay now, right?
Slight pause.
CHRIS
...So far.
They stop at the gym doors and enter.
INT. GYM - CONTINUOUS
Chris and Casey enter. There are students scattered all
around the gym, playing various games like volleyball
and basketball.
CHRIS
What do we need again?
CASEY
The study guide for the golf test.
They walk up the gym office and knock on the door. After
a few seconds COACH CHASE pops his head out.
CHASE
Oh. You guys need the guide, right?
CASEY
Yeah.
CHRIS
(off students)
Look at all the sorry son of a
bitches playing sports.
CASEY
Makes you glad we passed the class
and never have to step in here
again.
CHRIS
Ha! What do you think we're doing
right now.
Chris looks up. On the second floor we can see Joel and
Cathy playing a game of shuffle board.
CHRIS
Joel still takes gym?
CASEY
Guess so.
CHRIS
Wow. Who's the girl?
CASEY
Cathy.
CHRIS
Cathy. As in Cathy Phenis?
CASEY
Yep.
CHRIS
Brian's Cathy?
CASEY
Correctdomondo.
They continue to watch. Casey seems suspicious.
CHRIS
I didn't know Joel was friends with
her.
CASEY
Hell, I would think a girl like that
wouldn't be friends with people
like us at all.
CHRIS
Hey...You don't think...Joel likes
Cathy, do you?
CASEY
As Doc Brown put it in "Back to the
Future"...Anything is possible.
They continue to watch. Joel says something that makes
Cathy laugh.
CUT TO:
INT. DRAWING CLASS - MINUTES LATER
The class is fairly small with about twelve or so
people. It's fairly quietly, with some light
conversation going on. Sitting near the back is Brian
and Brock.
BRIAN
What's that your drawing?
BROCK
Something.
BRIAN
What is it?
BROCK
Something
BRIAN
Tell me.
BROCK
It was something.
BRIAN
Tell me.
BROCK
I told you, it was something.
BRIAN
At least give me a hint.
BROCK
Something.
BRIAN
Is it...naughty?
BROCK
Something.
BRIAN
Is that an automated response or
something? Tell me you little
bastard!
BROCK
Something
BRIAN
Tell me.
BROCK
Something
BRIAN
Tell me.
BROCK
Something
BRIAN
Oh for Christ's sake will you tell
me already!?
Brief pause.
BROCK
It was something.
BRIAN
SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN SOMETHING!!!
BROCK
Something.
BRIAN
Oh you little son of a bitch.
Brian begins to think.
BRIAN
It's a picture of a girl, isn't it?
Brock says nothing.
BRIAN
It could be Amanda...but then again,
Amanda is ugly.
Brock's eye twitches. He seem angry.
BRIAN
Or it could be that girl from that
summer program...but she was a bitch.
Brock's eye twitches again.
BROCK
Don't say the next name!
BRIAN
OR SARAH! That's it! But she's the
worst of them all.
Brock stops drawing.
BROCK
My deep dark obsession has gotten
worse lately
BRIAN
How so?
BROCK
(sighs)
Scott fucking Greenberg.
BRIAN
Who the hell is that?
BROCK
Sarah's new boyfriend.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - SAME
Stacy and Dave are on the couch, making out. Stacy stops
him.
STACY
Say, Dave.
DAVE
Yeah.
STACY
I was just thinking. I realizes
we've been dating almost two weeks
and I don't even know where you
work.
DAVE
Oh...I work at the Earlham cemetery.
They begin to make out again. Stacy seems a bit freaked
out. She stops him.
STACY
Cema-what?
DAVE
Cemetery.
He begins to kiss her, she stops him again.
STACY
You work at a cemetery?
DAVE
Six years running.
STACY
Um...what do you do at the
cemetery?
DAVE
Mostly mow and trim the grass.
STACY
(relieved)
Oh, I thou -
DAVE
But I also dig graves and sometimes
bury bodies.
STACY
Bury bodies?
DAVE
Yep.
STACY
(to himself)
Really picked a good one, Stacy.
Dave stands and grabs Stacy's hand.
DAVE
C'mon.
STACY
Where are we going?
DAVE
I've got something "special"
planned for us.
Stacy stands, intrigued. Dave, still holding her hand,
begins to lead her into the hallway.
STACY
Special?
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - MINUTES LATER
There is only a few people in the library. Will is
sitting at one of the tables. He is reading a book, with
the words "Gay Fantasia" written on it. Suddenly Chris
and Casey enter.
CHRIS
There you are!
Will looks up. Seeing them, he throws the book off to
the side.
WILL
Hey, guys. What's up?
CASEY
Oh nothing much. Say, Will.
WILL
Yes.
CASEY
Does Joel like Cathy.
Will sits, stunned.
WILL
Wh-...What?
CASEY
Does Joel like Cathy?
WILL
Doe - he...Well I would have no
idea if -
CHRIS
Because we just saw them together
in gym class.
WILL
Shit. You've caught me.
CASEY
It is true!
CHRIS
Holy shit!
WILL
Keep it the fuck down!
CASEY
You mean he -
WILL
Yeah.
CHRIS
Without even -
WILL
You bet.
CASEY
How man times -
WILL
Twice.
CASEY
Jesus Christ bananas. How come Joel
never told us about this?
WILL
(sarcastically)
Believe it or not he thought you
guys would make a big deal out of
it.
CHRIS
How long have you known?
WILL
(sighs)...three weeks.
CASEY
Fuck!
WILL
Calm down, two tons of fun. All
right, listen. This is not to be
told to anyone!
CHRIS
What about Reicther?
WILL
Are you kidding? First, he would
probably blurt it out. Second, he'd
mention it to Brian as if it's the
most casual thing ever.
CASEY
What about Brock?
WILL
He's probably busy with his own
problems. Besides it might be risky.
He's been Brian's closest friend.
Pause.
CASEY
My God. This is one fucked up
problem.
WILL
Yeah. I know.
CHRIS
I thought Brian was over Cathy.
WILL
Yeah, so he says. Still, it's the
principal of the matter.
SWIPE TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - LATER
Establishing shot. The bell rings.
CUT TO:
INT. SHAKESHOP - MINUTES LATER
Reicther enters, with his head down.
REICTHER
Stupid job.
He walks behind the counter.
REICTHER
I should just quit. Get my precious
free time back.
Reicther's boss, RYAN, enters from the backroom.
RYAN
Oh, there you Reicther.
REICTHER
Yeah, I'm here.
RYAN
I want you to carefully scrape all
the remaining chocolate ice cream
off the freezer walls.
Reicther quietly sighs.
REICTHER
I'll get right on it.
Reicther is about to leave, but Ryan stops him.
RYAN
Oh, I almost forgot.
Ryan reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope.
RYAN
I know we couldn't be you last week
so there's two weeks pay here.
He hands it to Reicther. Reicther stares at it and then
quickly opens it.
REICTHER
Oh my...
Heavenly music begins to play. Reicther looks up,
extremely happy.
RYAN
Oops.
Ryan walks off and turns the radio off, ending the
heavenly music.
RYAN
I always forget to turn that off.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - STACY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
The room is lightly lit. We can see someone under the
covers, moving around. The bathroom door is open, and we
can see Dave looking into the mirror. He slowly looks
over into the room, and notices the covers.
DAVE
Stacy?
She doesn't answer.
DAVE
Stacy?
STACY
Yeah.
DAVE
What are you doing?
STACY
Getting naked.
DAVE
Why are you doing it under the
covers?
STACY
Because I'm cautious about my naked
body.
DAVE
Oh.
After a few more seconds of rumbling, Stacy pops her
head out.
STACY
Okay. Now I'm ready.
DAVE
Um...where is-um,...the, you know...
STACY
Oh, drawer.
Dave opens the drawer. He pulls out a condom.
DAVE
Got it.
Dave gets into bed next to Stacy. They look at each
other. He quickly takes off his shirt. Then under the
blanket Dave takes off his pants. He opens the condom.
STACY
Wait!
DAVE
What?
STACY
You have to check it.
Dave seems confused.
DAVE
What for? To make sure it's ripe or
something?
STACY
For holes. These things could have
holes.
DAVE
Holes?
STACY
These things are only like 60%
protective.
DAVE
Hey, you think I should wear two?
That way it's 120% protective.
STACY
Dave...that's basically like
wrapping a rubber band around your
dick.
Dave holds the condom up to the lamp.
STACY
How's it look?
DAVE
Hole free. I guess.
STACY
All right. Put it on.
Dave reaches below frame. He tries to put it on.
DAVE
Hey, it glows in the dark.
Stacy looks.
STACY
That's a really bright green.
SWIPE TO:
INT. SIDEWALK - SAME
Will, Joel, Casey, and Chris are walking home form
school. Joel is a few steps ahead of everyone. Chris and
Casey are looking at Joel in a weird way.
JOEL
Hey, Casey. We finished up the
Geography cross word puzzle, right?
CASEY
Oh yeah, yeah. At the end of the
period.
Will signals Chris to talk to Joel. As Chris starts to
talk to him, Will leans into Casey and whispers.
WILL
What the hell is up with this
"piano" routine you and Chris are
pulling?
CASEY
I can't think of anything to say.
All I can think about is Joel and
Cathy.
Will sighs.
WILL
Fine. I think I know how to tell
him you know.
Will catches up and walks besides Joel.
WILL
Hey, Joel.
JOEL
What?
WILL
I've got a joke for you.
JOEL
Okay.
WILL
All right. They're these two female
anchor women. One is a red head, one
is a blonde. So anyway, it's been a
rough day and they decide to take a
break in the breakroom. They go in
there make themselves some coffee
and begin to talk. Well, anyway they
have a TV in the breakroom. They
look up and see that there is a news
break because there's some crazy guy
on top of a roof. The two anchors
see this and the red head says "You
know what, I think he'll jump." And
the blonde says "No, he won't." The
red then says "He will. You know,
I'll bet you fifty dollars that
he'll jump." The blonde shook her
hand "Okay, your on." As just as she
said that, the guy jumps. The blonde
reaches into her wallet and began to
look for fifty dollars. Meanwhile
the red head begins to feel guilty
and then confesses "You know, I
can't take your money." The blonde
was persistent. "No, no. You won the
bet fair and square you keep the
money." Then the red head said "I
have to admit something. I saw this
report an hour ago." And then the
blonde said "Yeah, me too. I didn't
think he'd jump again...
(really quickly)
Chris and Casey know about Cathy.
Joel begins to laugh but it quickly stops.
JOEL
WHAT?!
WILL
God damn your selective hearing,
Joel!
JOEL
You told them!
WILL
Well, it's not like I told them for
the hell of it. They sorta walked
in on it.
JOEL
Walked in on it?
CASEY
Gym. Third period.
JOEL
Oh shit.
CASEY
I never would have guessed you and
Cathy liked each other.
JOEL
What makes you so sure?
CASEY
Well, let's just say I have my
reasons.
JOEL
(to Will)
YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT THE MOVIE DATE?!
Casey and Chris are stunned.
CASEY
Actually...I was going to say I know
body language really well.
Joel realizes his mistake. He lets his head fall down.
JOEL
Oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
Pause. Joel sighs and lifts his head up.
CHRIS
Do you like her?
Joel nods.
CHRIS
Does she like you too?
JOEL
I'm 85% sure she does.
Joel begins to pace.
JOEL
That's it. Brian's going to kill me.
WILL
Joel, he's not going to kill you.
JOEL
Oh, but you're selling Brian short.
He's a clever guy. He could easily
slit my throat and hide the body.
Joel stops pacing and looks toward the sunset.
JOEL
I'm thirsty. Let's go over to my
place, I've got drinks.
Everyone nods. They all start to walk again.
SWIPE TO:
INT. MALL - FRONT ENTERANCE - LATER
(SONG BEGINS: "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra)
Reicther enters, carrying a wad of cash in his hands. He
looks around. A big smile comes across his face. He runs
off in a certain direction.
INT. RADIO SHACK - SECONDS LATER
Reicther is just pushing random items from shelves into
his cart. Electric pens, tape recorders, and cameras.
FADE TO:
INT. FOOD COURT - LITTLE LATER
Reicther slowly walks through the court. At each table
he hands money to the people sitting at them. Some
people looks confused, others are joyed. He does this
with an idiotic grin on his face.
SWIPE TO:
INT. TOY STORE - LATER
Reicther is sitting in an aisle, playing with a toy truck.
CUT TO:
INT. TOY STORE - LATER
Reicther is in a different aisle, playing with a nerf
gun.
REICTHER
Bang! Bang! Bang!
CUT TO:
INT. TOY STORE - LATER
Reicther is in a different aisle, light saber fighting
with an eight year old boy.
CUT TO:
EXT. MALL - LATER
Reicther walks out, carrying about five bags, all filled
to capacity with stuff. He seems very pleased.
(SONG SLOWLY FADE OUT.)
SWIPE TO:
INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME
Darkness. We can hear some movement.
DAVE
How you doing?
STACY
Ow, ow, ow -- that's my -
DAVE
Sorry.
Pause. The movement stops.
STACY
What happened?
DAVE
I...I think I became a man.
Pause.
STACY
That was it?
DAVE
Pretty much.
STACY
But that was like...a few minutes.
DAVE
Trust me...we're lucky it lasted as
long as it did.
There is some shuffling. There is a small green light
that illuminates part of Stacy's face.
STACY
It's still glowing?
CUT TO:
INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME
Brock sits on the couch, looking depressed. Brian is
looking through his closet.
BRIAN
It's in here, some place.
BROCK
Oh, how could I be so stupid.
BRIAN
I think I still have two
controllers.
BROCK
She always talked about the guy.
BRIAN
I probably still have the one game
were you're the serial killer
looking for innocent women.
BROCK
But I was blind sided.
Brian sighs.
BRIAN
Look, I know your depressed. But
you should just forget about her.
Brock scoffs.
BROCK
Impossible. She'll always stick to
me.
BRIAN
Sorta like an STD?
Brock tries his hardest not to smile.
BRIAN
Oh, is that a smile?
BROCK
Oh fuck it. I still can't laugh.
Not while in the mood, I'm in.
BRIAN
Well, here.
Brian walks over, carrying a Sega Genesis. He sits
it down by the TV.
BRIAN
Will killing the weak and innocent
make you feel better?
BROCK
...a little.
CUT TO:
INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME
Dave and Stacy are lying on the bed.
DAVE
So...
STACY
So...
DAVE
How was it?
STACY
Well...filling to say the least.
Pause.
DAVE
Oh! I just got that.
STACY
What time is it?
DAVE
A little after six.
STACY
Oh shit. Where are my clothes?
DAVE
In the corner.
STACY
Could you get them for me?
DAVE
Why can't you get them?
STACY
(embarrassed)
I don't want you to see me naked.
DAVE
You don't want me to see you naked?
STACY
Yeah.
DAVE
Even though we just got done having
sex?
STACY
I'm just not comfortable people
seeing my naked body.
DAVE
Oh.
STACY
So can you get them for me?
DAVE
Um...I'm not sure.
STACY
Why?
DAVE
Well I don't want you to see my...
uh...my -
STACY
Penis?
DAVE
That's it.
STACY
But I've already seen it.
DAVE
Well, unfortunately it's not as big
as it was a few minutes ago.
STACY
Oh.
Pause. Both are thinking.
DAVE
How about I close my eyes.
Stacy ponders the idea.
STACY
Peek and I'll castrate you.
He puts a hand over his eyes.
INT. JOEL'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME
Will, Joel, Chris, and Casey sit around the kitchen
table. All drinking soda.
CHRIS
How long can we go on with this?
WILL
As long as it takes.
CASEY
Do you think Brian will catch on?
JOEL
I hope not.
Pause. Everyone seems distracted. Will looks up at the
clock.
WILL
Well, I think it's time for me to be
getting home.
CHRIS
I think we should all be getting home.
CASEY
Yeah.
They all slowly stand up. Will, Chris, and Casey head
for the door. Will looks back and notices Joel staring
at the wall, deep in thought.
WILL
Joel?
He doesn't answer.
WILL
Joel!
JOEL
Yeah?
WILL
We're leaving.
JOEL
Okay. See you guys tomorrow.
The three leave. Joel begins to stare at the wall again,
deep in thought.
(BEGIN MUSIC MONTAGE. Song: "Can't Find My Way Home" by
Eric Clapton.)
FADE TO:
INT. WILL'S ROOM - NIGHT
Will enters his room. He walks over to the CD player and
turns it on. He takes a Marvin Gaye CD and puts it in.
He hits play. He sits in the dark, staring at the wall.
EXT. HOUSE - SAME
Chris is at the doorstep. He knocks on the door. After a
few seconds the door opens to reveal KATE DAVIDSON.
KATE
Oh hey, Chris. What are you doing
here?
CHRIS
I was just walking around and
thought I should drop off that CD
you wanted.
KATE
Oh, awesome. Come in.
Chris and Kate go inside.
INT. CASEY'S ROOM - SAME
Casey is sitting at his desk. He picks up the phone and
dials some numbers. There's a pause.
CASEY
Hello, is Kay there?
Pause.
CASEY
Hey, Kay.
INT. VANDELE HOME - LATER
Stacy enters the living room. Brian is in the kitchen.
BRIAN
Where the hell have you been?
STACY
I had to take my car into the shop
and it took them three god damn
hours to fix it.
Pause. Stacy looks around.
STACY
Where's mom?
BRIAN
I don't know. Drinking or something.
I wasn't paying close attention.
He leaves the kitchen and heads down the hall with a bag
of chips in his arms. She walks over to the counter and
sees there's a message. She hits play.
VOICE (O.S.)
Hey, Stacy. It's me Marilyn -
Stacy is surprised.
VOICE (O.S.)
- I really wanted to apologize for
the other night. And to make up for it I
want to take you out for dinner.
(pause)
Call me.
Hang up. Pause. Stacy stands in silence. She looks over
at the phone. She picks up and dials some numbers.
STACY
Hello, Marilyn?
(pause)
Where do you want to eat at?
CUT TO:
INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME
Brock is standing over Brian's CD player. He presses a
button. Brian enters.
BRIAN
What the hell are you doing?
BROCK
I want to listen to something more
uplifting then The Offspring.
Brian looks down at the floor and notices a Gordon
Lightfoot CD. Brian rolls his eyes and sits down.
CUT TO:
INT. REICTHER'S ROOM - SAME
He passed on his bed. In one hand is a light saber (blue
and still on and making noises.) and in the other is a
tape recorder playing. The recording is of Reicther
talking to himself.
CUT TO:
INT. JOEL'S ROOM - HOURS LATER
Joel is sleeping on his bed. We ZOOM IN on him a little
bit as he continues to sleep calmly.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
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