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THE LUNCHROOM Episode 3.02 "Master Debaters" WRITTEN BY Edward Drogos CREATED BY Bruce Snyder CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. Chris Hughes................................ Stacy Cifaretto............................. Mr. John Parker............................. GUEST CAST LIST Debbie Vandele.............................. Bobby Monaghan.............................. Louis Kent.................................. Principal Stevens........................... Mindy....................................... Student #1.................................. Student #2.................................. Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER FADE IN: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATE AFTERNOON It's after school and Chris is stapling a large flyer concerning applying for class president on a bulletin board in the hallway. He finishes and goes down a few feet to another board and does it again. A bunch of other students come out of a classroom and walk past Chris, ignoring him. One who doesnít, is Stacy. STACY Chris...? CHRIS Oh, hi Stacy. What are you still doing here? STACY The Norwegian Appreciation Club just finished. I've joined everything this year. I'm not going to miss anything. Did you join something? CHRIS No. This is part of my detention. STACY Detention! This is the first week of school. CHRIS You're telling me. STACY What are you talking about? CHRIS The last day of school, last year, I thought it would be amusing to use my artistic ability to make a drawing of Ms. Labatt with a chalkboard eraser...she thought differently. But since it was the last day of school, she couldnít punish me. Chris moves on to the next bulletin board. STACY So, she made you serve your detention when you came back. That's smart. Chris shoots her a look. STACY (CONT'D) I mean...What an evil miserable bitch. They move to the next board. STACY (CONT'D) Whatís that for? CHRIS (handing one to her) Elections for class president. I gotta keep going. See you later. STACY Yeah, bye. Chris walks away as Stacy reads the flyer. She looks interested and puts it into her backpack and walks on. OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. FADE TO: INT. VANDELE HOME - KITCHEN Ė MORNING It's the next morning and Brian, Stacy and their mother DEBBIE are having breakfast. Stacy takes more cereal. STACY So, I decided to run for class president. DEBBIE Really? STACY Yeah, really. I thought it would be a cool thing to do, especially now. BRIAN Sounds interesting. STACY Good, because I was wondering... DEBBIE (interrupting) I ran for class president. In 1981. It was my senior year and I was inspired by the election of Jimmy Carter, to get involved. BRIAN Well, I hate to be a pursuer of accuracy but it was Reagan who was elected in Ď81. DEBBIE What did I say about that last night? BRIAN No one likes a smart ass. DEBBIE Anyway it wasnít Reagan who did it, it was Warner Douglas. STACY Who was Warner Douglas? DEBBIE This boy I liked. He had an interest in politics, so I said Iíd run for to get him to like me. BRIAN Did you win? DEBBIE No. There was a little scandal. It was with one of the other candidates. He was a really boring guy and he got involved in this riot after a Rick Springfield concert, and after that, he got so popular, he won. STACY Oh. BRIAN Who the hell starts a riot after a Rick Springfield concert? CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY Ė MORNING The Gang and the rest of the school are getting things from their lockers before class. Reicther, Joel, and Chris are close together on the left side and Brian, Brock, and Will are spread out on the right. BRIAN Hey, guess what Stacy announced this morning? JOEL (thinking hard) She's...going to become a nun? BRIAN No. It's something of a political nature. REICTHER Oh, sheís not one of those who voted for Nader is she? BRIAN Why do I feel as if most of our conversations would be better if we never talked. Anyway she's running for class president. REICTHER Oh. (pause) Why? BRIAN No idea. But get this, she wants me to be her speech writer. CASEY (O.C.) What? They turn to look all the way down to the end of the hall where Caseyís locker is. BRIAN (yelling over) I'm going to be her speech writer! CASEY Oh. Okay. Gotcha! WILL So what does she want us to do? BRIAN I don't know. The bell rings and there is a scramble around them. BRIAN (CONT'D) I guess we'll talk at lunch. WILL Okay. CASEY (O.C.) What? WILL (calling out) Meeting at lunch! CASEY Okay! They walk off to their different classes. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY Ė LUNCHTIME Brock and Casey are walking down a mostly empty hall, talking. CASEY So then they finally got the car doors unlocked and we were able to get out. BROCK But why did they open trunk? CASEY No, thatís not the point. It never went off. (nothing) See when you get into the car... They pass through the doors into the lunchroom. INT. LUNCHROOM Ė CONTINUOUS Casey stops talking to look up at a large crowd of people gathered around Stacy and another kid debating with each other. CASEY She isnít wasting any time is she. BROCK Who's the other guy? CASEY Bobby Monaghan. Incumbent class president from the freshman slash sophomore term. BROCK Are you friends with him and not telling us? CASEY No. He points to a poster on the wall that says all that. BROCK Oh. They see Will, Brian and Chris standing in the crowd and join them. STACY You call those accomplishments! Yeah, milk prices went down, but a coke costs a buck twenty-five. He just doesnít understand, if he wants to throw all these parties for each different grade, that costs money. My money. Your money. Plus while we were having all those parties, the east parking lot fell into disrepair. All the cars are all bunched up in one tiny lot! Thatís not safe. BOBBY Well, if you are going to nitpick. You have no experience whatsoever in school politics. Stacy has no idea how to run things. While she has been racking up a few honorary titles in the year books, I have been bringing this school to a whole new beginning. STACY You call that Nitpicking? BRIAN Fuck that. That's personal attacks. They stare each other down, and Stacy is ready to say more when Will jumps in between them. WILL Okay! Stacy. Save some for the debate! BOBBY Who are you? WILL Me, Iím her...(thinks) presidential ...advi...no, wait - STACY (cutting in) He's my campaign manager. WILL Yeah. Who the fuck are you? BOBBY Your current class president. WILL Bullshit. When were you elected. BOBBY Last year. WILL How am I suppose to remember that. Hell, I don't know where I am half the time. Bobby sees that all the attention he was gathering has dwindled, and walks away. WILL (CONTíD) Okay! Since this has turned into a little rally, anyone have questions for Miss... STACY (whispering) Cifaretto. WILL Cifaretto! STUDENT What about the empty parking lot, what are you going to do with it? STACY Well, what do you want to have there? Itís up to you. Tell me what you want and Iíll get it done... Bobby walks off the crate and over to the gang while Stacy continues to take questions. BOBBY So youíre the guys helping Stacy out, huh? They glance at Bobby and return their focus to Stacy. BOBBY What? We canít be friends? CASEY (quickly) Kiss my big, fat, hairy, pimply ass, Bob. Bobby storms off. INT. VANDELE HOME - BASEMENT Ė EVENING Brock, Reicther, Joel, Casey, Will and Chris are all gathered around an old table sitting in mismatched chairs. Stacy and Brian walk down the stairs carrying some snack and bottles of soda. STACY Well, thank you all for coming. Everyone looks at her. STACY Anyway, I went to register today and I found out that my official competitors are Bobby Monaghan and Louis Kent. And anyone else who wants to try for write in. CASEY What does that mean? STACY What? CASEY Who arenít the official ones? STACY Any other person who no one cares about. The principal chooses three candidates on the ballot, and if you want someone else, you can write it in. CASEY Okay. STACY Anyway, I have a few things I thought would be really great for the junior and senior students. REICTHER What about the lower grades? STACY I donít represent them. REICTHER What, we're not equal or something. I mean what's up with that? BRIAN No, they have their own leader. The school is split into freshman and sophomore, then junior and senior groups. You didnít know this? REICTHER Well...no. JOEL Yeah, I wasnít so sure either... CHRIS What about the people who run as write ins? BROCK Do the two presidents work together? Stacy looks shocked that they donít know about it. BRIAN Yeah, they do. You know, weíre here to find out what we are all going to do. Brian sits down and looks to Stacy. REICTHER So what do you want me to do? STACY Uh, you and Brock make up some flyers and pass them out to anyone you see. Brock sighs. Reicther smiles. REICTHER Don't worry, Brock. Were going to have lots of fun. Brock looks angry. STACY Joel and Casey, can you come up with some commercials they can air on the school TV network? JOEL It shall be done. STACY And they told me that I have to do an interview with a guy from the school newspaper. Will I need you to help me with that. WILL What else would a campaign manager do? REICTHER Manage the campaign, maybe? STACY Brian, your already writing my speeches and Chris, you can...you will...um,...spread the word. CHRIS Excuse me? WILL Yeah, you are good at talking to people, you can go around convincing people to vote for Stacy. CHRIS Convincing? WILL Well, persuading. What do you think? CHRIS The gospel of Stacy Cifaretto. I think I can handle that. STACY Great! I guess we are done today. Letís work on our assignments, and get ready for the launch, next Monday. CASEY Okay. They all get up. BROCK So I guess this officially makes us your campaign staff? STACY Yes it does. WILL We're sorta like guys on "The West Wing." BROCK Cool. Pause. BRIAN Let's play Dynasty Warriors! Brian, Brock, Joel, Casey, and Reicther run up stairs. Will and Chris linger. WILL (sarcastically) Oh yeah. Video games. CHRIS (sarcastically) What fun. They slowly walk up the stairs. Stacy rolls her eyes as the rest of them run upstairs. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL Ė DAY Itís a few days later and Casey and Joel put up a poster of Stacy on the wall. We PULL BACK and reveal that there are hundreds of them from floor to ceiling. INT. HALLWAY Ė DAY Chris has a gathered a group of people around him and is speaking about Stacy. INT. VANDELE HOME - DINING ROOM Ė NIGHT Will and Stacy are doing a mock interview. WILL Stacy, what do you want to do for this school? STACY I want the students to decide, this is their school, and what they need. WILL Very good. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MR. PARKER'S ROOM Ė AFTERNOON Mr. Parker is busy writing something on the chalkboard. Stacy is standing close by. STACY Why can't I put any flyers in here? PARKER Stacy, you know how I feel about democracy and voting. STACY That it's all crap. PARKER Exactly. Besides, if I let you hang one flyer then Bobby will want to hang one. Then Louis. That's three flyers! I just don't have space. Stacy then looks around and notices a lot of empty spots on the wall. She sighs and leaves. CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL - NEXT MORNING Stacy gets out of her car in the parking lot. Suddenly, Casey and Joel run up. STACY Hey guys. Whereís Will? JOEL Um, damage control. STACY Damage control, what do you mean, did something happen? CASEY You could say that... STACY I fucking did. What happened? JOEL You better come inside. They usher her in through the door past a number of Bobby supporters. INT. SCHOOL ENTRANCE Ė CONTINUOUS Stacy walks in to see the walls covered with posters of attack ads against Stacy and all of her ideas and positions. STACY Oh my god. Will and Brock come up to Stacy. WILL Stacy, letís go. In here. They lead her into a empty classroom and close the door. INT. CLASSROOM Ė CONTINUOUS The rest of the staff except Chris are already waiting for Stacy when she walks in. STACY Will, what is going on? WILL Itís Monaghan. He had some photographer follow you around, waiting for you fuck up. STACY Is that legal? WILL Please, in this campaign everything is legal. I think we have to go on the defensive. STACY How? WILL Reicther, if that asshole Bobby wants to do funny photos, so can you. REICTHER I want to do funny photos? WILL Yes, you want to do funny photos! (he takes a deep breath) I believe the school just got Adobe Photoshop, you and Brock have fun. (turning to Casey) Joel, Casey, lets get some ads on the school TV network, okay? JOEL Alright. WILL Stacy, we do a practice interview again. STACY Yeah, lets do that tonight. WILL Good. CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM Ė DAY Casey and Joel are sitting on either sides of a large TV and a few STUDENTS are helping themselves to the free food set out on a table. Joel pops in a video cassette and Casey clears his throat to get the Students attention. CASEY Okay, everybody. If you are ready please take your seats and weíll begin. They take a few more cookies and sit down. CASEY (CONT'D) I just want to start out by thanking all of you for taking time to participate in this focus group. STUDENT # 1 Oh, so your the one running. CASEY (thrown) No. STUDENT # 1 You sound like it. CASEY Thank you. JOEL (taking over) Okay. You are here to review a few campaign ads, and tell us your thoughts on them. Letís begin. Joel presses play. TV SCREEN - A black and white picture of BOBBY fades onto the screen and jail bars are superimposed on top of that picture. VOICE OVER (who is Joel) Do you trust Bobby Monaghan? The question should be, how can you trust Bobby Monaghan? The screen fades to black and a large question mark appears. VOICE OVER (CONTíD) In 2002, during a field trip to the Centerville Police Station, Bobby Monaghan was put into a cell, just because a police officer said he looked funny. The question mark fades to a picture of the police station and then snapshots of Bobby being put into the cell and the words Ďlooked funnyí appear on the screen. VOICE OVER (CONTíD) So let me ask you, how can you send a man who Ďlooks funnyí to represent your school during this time of uncertainly. The pictures of Bobby in the cell and the words Ďlook funnyí keep flashing on the screen. All of a sudden the picture becomes in color and a smiling face of Stacy appears standing in front of a tree with her hair blowing in the wind. STACY (on screen) I'm Stacy Cifaretto. I was voted Miss Photogenic, two years in a row at my old school. And I am able to put the best face forward so I can fight for our student body. Stacy walks off into the park. VOICE OVER Vote Stacy Cifaretto for class president. Strong...and photogenic. And the screen fades to black. CLASSROOM - Joel stops the tape. CASEY Okay. (to Joel) That turned out good. (to the Students) What are your general impressions, of this ad? The students sit there, dumbstruck. CASEY (CONT'D) Anything? STUDENT # 1 So, sheís the one running. Casey and Joel nod and make notes on their clipboards. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL - COMPUTER ROOM Ė DAY Reicther and Brock are working on the school computers. They have their heads together blocking the screen from view. REICTHER No, no, no. Make his eyes more square. BROCK What, like that? REICTHER Yeah. Can you stretch the body a little bit more. And make his feet smaller. Brock does this. BROCK Good? REICTHER Oh yeah. Brock and Reicther move their heads apart to reveal a picture of a devastating deformed Bobby. BROCK And print. They smile at each other as the printer makes lots of copies. CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM Ė LATER Casey and Joel are still with the focus group. STUDENT # 1 So, I still don't understand, if the ad is for Stacy, why would they focus on Bobby? JOEL We are not focusing on him, we are highlighting his faults. CASEY To show how much better Stacy is. STUDENT # 2 So what does Stacy stand for? STUDENT # 1 Yeah, what is she going to do for me? JOEL Don't you know? STUDENT # 1 No. All I know is that Bobby looks funny and Stacy is pretty. What good is that going to do? Casey and Joel think. CASEY (to Joel) I think we need to go in a different direction with the ads. Joel nods. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL - AUDIO/VISUAL DEPARTMENT - NEXT DAY Will, Stacy, Chris and Reicther are watching a TV playing Stacyís new ad. TV SCREEN - Stacy is sitting at a desk in a classroom. STACY Hi, Iím Stacy Cifaretto. Youíve heard a lot about my competitor, but I think itís time you found out about me. If elected I want to improve the school atmosphere, I want to expand the school newspaper, make more ideas and voices heard. I will build a student lounge, where before and after school and during breaks from class and during lunchtime members can relax and have fresh food and drinks. (pause) And since we are in a school, I thought we would form a in school college scholarship program. Every year one student will be chosen and sent to college care of their fellow student. (pause) These are the kind of things I want for my school, what do you want for it? Iím Stacy Cifaretto, Iím running for you. The screen fades to the words "VOTE FOR STACY." BACK TO ROOM REICTHER That was really good. CHRIS Amazing. LOUIS KENT walks out of the interview room, he looks shaken. STACY How did it go, Louis? He shakes his head and walks out. STACY (to Will) What does he mean? WILL I don't know. The interviewer, MINDY, a bubbly girl in a blue outfit approaches. MINDY Stacy are you ready? I'm Mindy. STACY (shaking her hand) Nice to meet you. MINDY Letís get started. But, Iím afraid that your friends will have to leave. WILL Still scared? Stacy shakes her head and the group leaves. Stacy and Mindy sit down in front of a camera. MINDY (into camera) Hello, fellow students, Iím Mindy Everett, and this is Interviews with Everyone. Stacy Cifaretto is here today, she is running for class president. Hello Stacy. STACY Hi Mindy. Mindyís demeanor changes and she looks harshly at Stacy. MINDY Stacy. You have no experience is school government, what makes you qualified to run? STACY (thrown back) What? Uh, well I am fairly new, but I have made friends and have learned about the school, and most importantly, I am a student, so the things I will fight for I want too. MINDY So youíre saying that you are doing this so you can fight for what you want for yourself? STACY No, you misunderstand Ė MINDY I have interviewed a lot of people, I can get to the bottom of what people are saying pretty quickly by now. But a new topic. What are those things that you want? STACY Wait. I have to clarify my point. I didnít say that Ė MINDY Stacy, are you going to answer my question or not? STACY How can I when you wonít let me finish? MINDY Stacy, lets get real? Your competition has had a lot more experience than you, are you ready to compete? STACY Yes, I have seen what Bobby has done, and I can do better...and I have enough experience to. MINDY Okay, I think we have enough. Stacy and Mindy stand up. STACY What was that for? MINDY (bubbly again) What do you mean? Stacy rolls her eyes and walks out. MINDY What, wasnít I fair? INT. VANDELE HOME Ė BRIAN'S ROOM Ė LATER THAT NIGHT Brian is sitting on his couch, thinking. Sitting on his lap is a pad of paper and pencil. CLOSE UP ON PAPER: On the top line it reads, "Stacy's Speech." We notice that besides that, the paper is blank. Brian looks around, trying to get inspired. CUT TO: INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY The campaign staff is pacing around. JOEL What time is it? BRIAN 9:28. JOEL Where is she? WILL Donít worry she wonít back out on us. REICTHER How do you know? WILL Has Stacy ever backed out on a promise before? Principal Stevens comes up to the staff. STEVENS Where's Stacy? WILL I donít know, sir. Can you just wait a few more minutes? STEVENS Listen, if you candidate isnít going to show up you are going to have to tell me now. She has to speak, or else she forfeits. They donít know what to say. REICTHER I'll do it! STEVENS What? BROCK What? REICTHER I'm going to do it. I'll speak. BROCK You arenít the one running! REICTHER Mr. Stevens, Iíll do it. Can I speak. WILL Reicther! STEVENS I donít see any other solution, if Stacy isn't here... STACY (O.S.) Iím here! Stacy comes from the back door and runs up to the group. STEVENS Miss Cifaretto nice to see you. STACY Iím here, Iím ready. (to the Staff) Iím sorry you guys. I didnít mean to bail, I just needed time to think. STEVENS Well, Iím sorry Mr. Reicther, it looks like you are going to have to wait for next year. Stevens walks off and turns on his microphone. STACY Will have to wait for what next year? JOEL Fuck what Stevens said, just get out there. Stacy walks over to where Louis and Bobby are waiting. LOUIS Cutting it a little close arenít you. STACY I still made it didnít I. The CAMERA MAN focuses on the three canidates. STEVENS (O.C.) Now please help me welcome the candidates for class president! Louis, Bobby and Stacy walk out. They each take a spot at a podium. FADE TO: Louis just finished his speech and takes down his charts and various props. STEVENS Thank you, Mr. Kent. Next is Robert Monaghan, sophomore class president and school quarterback number 56. He pauses. BOBBY I just have a few things to say. We may be both newcomers to this school, but in my past year I have accomplished a lot, she hasnít. I have connected with each of you, and you hopefully have connected with me. As you remember all the new and exiting things I have done, just think of all the things I have yet to do. Anything is possible, and anything can happen if you elect me as your class president. Thank you. Pause. STEVENS And our final candidate, Miss Stacy Cifaretto. The spotlight shines bright on Stacy. STACY Thank you. This lesson in democracy has taught me more about the people in the process, rather than the process itself. It is not the policies, but who starts them and how they do it is what seems to be important. You are not voting for what we stand for but how we present ourselves. More specifically, how a opponent presents the other. (pause) If this has taught me anything at all, it's that I don't know what the next President's gonna face. And if we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, someone with gravitas, who's connected to other people's lives, and cares about making them better...if we choose someone to inspire us, then we'll be able to face what comes our way and achieve things...we can't imagine yet. Instead of telling people who's the most qualified, instead of telling people who's got the better ideas, let's make it obvious. Everyone is taken back. STEVENS Well...those are some pretty strong words, Ms. Cifaretto. She nods, pride fully. STEVENS Too bad you stole most of that speech from "The West Wing." Stacy's face now turns to embarrassment. STACY ...I did? She now looks angry. STACY (fake smile; under breath) I'm going to rip Brian's balls off and feed them to some goats. Stacy continues to stand, trying not to lose her cool. INT. LUNCHROOM Ė DAY Will, Joel, Brian, Brock, Casey, Reicther, Chris and Stacy are sitting around a table. Stacy lays her head down. WILL You had to steal a speech. BRIAN Jeez. I'm sorry. I was having really bad writer's block. Besides, who watches "The West Wing" anyway? Honestly! Just then, Bobby and a group of people walk by. Bobby has a smile on his face. He notices Stacy and waves. Stacy just gives him a look. Bobby turns to his people and begin to walk and talk. As his back is turned, EVERYONE at the table flip him off. STACY Fuck em. I hope he gets an STD. FADE OUT. (Over the end credits, "Lovely Rita" by The Beatles plays over them.) END OF EPISODE
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