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FADE IN:
TEASER
INT. OFFICE - MORNING
Jim hangs on Pam's desk.
PAM
You should call her.
JIM
I think I'm capable of handling my own
love life there Beasley, so...
Pam is suddenly dumbfounded as she looks over Jim's
shoulder. She covers her mouth to suppress a laugh. Jim
turns to see...
A mustached Dwight arriving for work.
INT. TALKING HEAD - JIM
JIM
This...I mean...c'mon. It's too easy. I'm
starting to feel a little guilty. I
should stop. But I won't. Because then I
wouldn't have anything to do except sell
paper. And who wants to do that?
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Jim shakes his head and walks over to Dwight's desk. He
goes to speak but then stops himself. He sits down at his
desk. It's too easy.
Dwight answers his RINGING phone.
DWIGHT
(into phone)
This is Dwight Schrute.
JIM
(into phone)
Uh, yeah, Alex Trebek called and he wants
his mustache back.
DWIGHT
(into phone)
Okay, Alex Trebek hasn't had a mustache
since the mid-nineties, Jim.
Dwight hangs up the phone.
ACT ONE
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Michael swivels his chair as he talks to Jan on the
phone.
JAN (O.S.)
Did you read through the info packets we
sent you?
Michael pulls a shrink wrapped packet from a box. The
title reads "Raising Your Office I.Q."
MICHAEL
(winking at camera)
Cover to cover.
INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL SCOTT
MICHAEL
So, Jan has assigned me the task of
developing our "Office I.Q." here at the
Scranton Branch. This, of course, is
corporate speak for...
Michael pretends to fall into a deep slumber. He jolts
awake.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
What? Huh? How long was I out?
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Michael kills a spider with the info packet.
JAN (O.S.)
We're trying to develop employee
knowledge of workplace procedures, which
will in turn increase productivity.
MICHAEL
Don't think you have to worry about that,
Jan. I invented productivity.
Productivity is my middle name.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Michael walks up on Jim and Pam, who are in the middle of
shooting paper wads into the trash can. Jim hits a long
range jumper.
JIM
Oh, you better get a DNA test, Pam,
'cause I think I'm your daddy.
MICHAEL
Nice. Good smack talk.
Michael raises his hand for a high-five. Jim obliges
hesitantly.
INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL SCOTT
Michael holds up the packet for the camera, and then
makes a show of throwing it away.
MICHAEL
Let me tell you something I've learned in
my many, many years in upper level
management. If you want a smart office,
you need smart people. "But, Michael, how
do we know if we have smart people?" Oh,
well, I'm glad you asked.
Michael waves a piece of paper at the camera.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Intelligence test. Because here at Dunder
Mifflin there is no room for stupid
people. Well, unless they're retarded. I
do not discriminate against retarded
people.
INSERT footage of Michael bouncing a limp hand on his
chest as he chants "I'm Corky." Ryan watches, not sure
how to respond.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
There will always be a broom here for the
mentally challenged to push.
INT. OFFICE -DAY
Michael walks out of his office carrying the stack of
tests.
MICHAEL
Okay, people, if I could have everyone's
attention. Today we are going to play a
little game I like to call Dunder
Mifflin: The Smartest Guys in The Room.
INT. TALKING HEAD - JIM
JIM
A test? I specifically took this job so I
didn't have to achieve.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Michael finishes passing out the tests.
MICHAEL
Okay, so here's the deal-ee-oh, ma
nizzles. You have exactly one hour to
complete the intelligence test, at which
time--
Dwight raises his hand.
DWIGHT
Question.
MICHAEL
Yes, Dwight.
DWIGHT
What if someone has to go to the bathroom
during that hour?
MICHAEL
Then they can hold it.
DWIGHT
Even if Irritable Bowel Syndrome runs in
their family?
MICHAEL
In that case we'll make an exception.
Anything else, Dwight?
Dwight presses hard for another question but can't think
of one.
DWIGHT
No. Wait, yes. If a person does go to the
bathroom, will that time count against
them?
MICHAEL
(annoyed)
No, Dwight, just use common sense.
(addressing everyone)
Okay, then. When you've finished, turn
your test into Pam, who will be grading
them.
Pam rolls her eyes.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
And remember, no cheating. This is
serious business. I'll be watching from
my office. If I catch anyone looking off
their neighbor, they will be fired.
Kelly looks to Tobey.
KELLY
Can he do that?
Tobey shakes his head "no."
MICHAEL
Oh, and you'd better do well, because if
you don't, your jobs are on the line.
Michael turns back for his office. Tobey shakes his head
again.
PAM
Umm, Michael, where's my test?
MICHAEL
Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, Pam. Why don't I
just give a test to the janitor while I'm
at it?
PAM
That's offensive.
MICHAEL
It's a joke. No, of course...
The rest of the office waits to hear how Michael
responds.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
(quietly pleading)
Look, I didn't print enough up, so...
JIM
I'll share.
MICHAEL
(pointing to Jim)
Problem, solution.
(addressing office)
Don't forget. I'll be watching.
Michael walks into his office, closes the door, and peeks
through the blinds.
LATER
An intense quiet over the office. Stanley prunes an
Einstein Chia Pet sitting on his desk. Phyllis scribbles
"I Heart Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration" in the margins.
Dwight polishes his mustache with thumb and forefinger as
he ponders a test question.
INT. TALKING HEAD - DWIGHT
DWIGHT
Men's Fitness magazine, February issue,
and I quote: "The mustache is the new
goatee." FACT: Chuck Norris has a
mustache. Well, he did until he grew the
beard. I can't do the full beard. I was
exposed to non-lethal doses of radiation
as a child, so it only grows in patches.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Jim looks over Pam's shoulder as they do the test
together.
PAM
Oh, yeah, and what makes you so smart?
JIM
Well, I have counted to infinity. Twice.
PAM
That doesn't even make sense.
JIM
Not to you. But then again, you're not as
smart as me.
PAM
I think you meant to say, "You're not as
smart as I am."
JIM
Touche.
In b.g., Kevin sleeps face down on his desk.
INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL SCOTT
MICHAEL
Am I going to take the test? No. That
wouldn't be fair. I mean, can you
imagine? "Not only do I make a lot more
money than you, but I'm also ten times
smarter than all of you combined." Yeah,
that's going to help morale.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Meredith jots down the 12 Step program: "Powerless,"
"Believe," "Decision," etc.
Michael comes from his office, watching the seconds tick
on his wristwatch. He hums the Jeopardy theme.
MICHAEL
(addressing office)
And...time. Alright, people, pencils
down.
Dwight is the only one still working. He scrambles to
fill in the remaining blanks.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
I said pencils down, Dwight.
DWIGHT
I just have one more--
Michael comes up behind Dwight and tries to wrestle the
test from him.
MICHAEL
Dwight, that's cheating. One point
deduction.
They struggle until Michael finally tears the paper away
from Dwight, ripping it in two.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Great. Nice work. Now Pam is going to
have to tape it.
INT. TALKING HEAD - PAM
PAM
Who's the smartest person in the room? I
don't know. Does it have to be somebody
from this office?
FADE OUT.
ACT TWO
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Stanley lingers at the water cooler. Dwight stands next
to him drinking from his bottle of water.
DWIGHT
So, do you prefer scissors or the
electric razor?
STANLEY
For what?
Dwight points to Stanley's mustache.
DWIGHT
For your mustache.
STANLEY
(shrugging his shoulders)
Scissors.
DWIGHT
Yeah, me too. Scissors.
AT PAM'S DESK
Pam checks over the tests. Jim walks up.
JIM
So, how'd we do?
PAM
I've sworn to secrecy.
Pam points with her eyes to Michael, who is watching her
through his office window. Jim inconspicuously blocks
Michael's view. Pam holds their test out to Jim.
PAM (CONT'D)
(whispering)
Ten out of thirty-five.
JIM
Oww. And a team effort, no less. Sad,
Beasley. Sad.
PAM
I know.
JIM
Well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
PAM
I guess not.
JIM
Looks like you made the right choice
after all.
PAM
(flinching)
What does that mean?
JIM
Nothing. No, I meant...
PAM
(miffed)
Don't say stuff like that.
Jim awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck.
INT. TALKING HEAD - PAM
PAM
It's not that I don't like Atlantic City,
but it's just not where I imagined going
for my honeymoon. I always thought it
would be nice to lay on the beach and
drink strawberry daiquiris. And to be far
away from here.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Michael comes from his office.
MICHAEL
Pam, I hope you are not sharing
classified information out here.
PAM
No, Michael, I wouldn't do that.
MICHAEL
Do you have the results?
PAM
(nonchalantly)
Yeah, the highest scorer was...
MICHAEL
(finger to mouth)
Shhhhhhhhhhh! Pam, shut it. No, we want
to...
(addressing office)
Okay, people. We need silence. The
tallies are in and we have our smartest
guy in the room -- not including my
office, of course. So, a drum roll
please. Dadadadadadadaada...
Dwight joins in on the drum roll, adding a few cymbal
crashes.
INT. TALKING HEAD - OSCAR
OSCAR
(shaking his head)
Why me?
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Michael finishes his drum roll.
PAM
Oscar.
Everyone gives a clumsy hurray for Oscar, who humbly
raises his eye brows.
MICHAEL
Really? Oscar? Huh.
OSCAR
Thank you, Michael.
MICHAEL
No, I just didn't think--
Jim swoops in to spare Oscar.
JIM
(looking at test)
According to this, Oscar's score puts him
at genius level. Maybe Oscar should be
managing the office?
MICHAEL
Okay, let's not get carried away.
KEVIN
What did you score on the test, Michael?
OSCAR
(pleading to Kevin)
Please don't do that.
MICHAEL
Actually, I promised corporate I wouldn't
reveal my score. So...
Dwight sidles up to Michael.
DWIGHT
But you can tell me, right?
MICHAEL
No, I can't. But I can say that I did
better than Oscar.
PAM
I didn't tell you what his score was.
MICHAEL
Well, unless Oscar got all of them
correct...
JIM
You got a perfect score? Wow.
MICHAEL
Yes. But I'm not supposed to tell you
that. So don't say anything to anyone.
JIM
I don't think anyone would believe me.
MICHAEL
What? Do I need to prove it to you?
A few nods from the office. Oscar shakes his head no.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Okay, okay. I see we have some skeptics
among us. A few Doubting Tobiases.
ANGELA
(under her breath)
Thomas.
MICHAEL
No, this is good. Because you know who
else people doubted? Jesus.
INT. TALKING HEAD - DWIGHT
DWIGHT
I think Jesus had a mustache. Though
there are conflicting reports on that.
INT. OFFICE -DAY
Michael butchers a biblical parable in front of the
office.
MICHAEL
And the little old lady said, "But I am a
poor woman with no money and I'm HIV
Positive." And then Jesus waved his hand
and turned a speck of sand into a pot of
gold.
MEREDITH
What about the test?
MICHAEL
Right, I'm getting to that. Okay, if
anyone needs me, I'll be in my office for
the next hour taking the test so you can
see for yourselves that I am, in fact,
not lying.
Michael goes into his office and closes all the blinds.
INT. OFFICE BREAK ROOM - DAY
Dwight eats his lunch next to Stanley. As Dwight takes a
bite of his sandwich, a piece of cheese burrows into his
mustache.
Kevin grabs his lunch from the fridge, then sits down at
the table.
KEVIN
(pointing)
Hey, Dwight, you've got something on
your...
DWIGHT
Ha ha, Kevin, very funny. Did Jim send
you in here?
KEVIN
What are you talking about?
DWIGHT
Look, if you have a problem you can say
it to both Stanley and myself.
STANLEY
(to Dwight)
He's right. You have something in your
'stache.
DWIGHT
You too, Stanley? I mean, I can
understand Jim and Kevin. But you?
Dwight gets up and walks out of the room. Kevin eyes a
bag of chips that Dwight left. He looks around, then
pulls the bag of chips off the table and into his lap. He
smiles.
INT. TALKING HEAD - DWIGHT
Dwight still has cheese in his mustache.
DWIGHT
Wilford Brimley, Magnum P.I., Jesse "The
Body" Ventura...
Dwight brings a hand to his face.
DWIGHT (CONT'D)
What's that?...I do?...Where?
Dwight combs his mustache until the piece of cheese falls
off.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Viewed through a crack in the blinds, Michael wracks his
brain to complete the test. He checks the internet for
help, but finds nothing.
AT ACCOUNTING
Oscar punches a calculator. Kelly walks up with a binder
and shows it to Oscar.
KELLY
Oscar, can this be right?
OSCAR
(perusing paper)
Yeah, it looks correct.
INT. TALKING HEAD - OSCAR
OSCAR
I answered a few stupid questions. That
doesn't mean I know everything.
INSERT footage of Kevin lifting up his shirt and pointing
to a rash on his flabby midriff for Oscar to examine.
OSCAR (CONT'D)
It would have been so easy to just not
fill in the answers. Leave it blank. I
should know better. Don't ask, don't
tell, right?
Oscar realizes this didn't come out right.
OSCAR (CONT'D)
Well, not that exactly. But you know what
I mean.
INT. OFFICE -DAY
Through the blinds, Michael pounds the desk and pulls at
his hair. Finally, he crumples up the test and throws it
away.
Michael walks out of his office carrying his coat.
PAM
Are you ready for me to grade your test?
MICHAEL
Oh, the test. Right. No. I'm taking a bit
of a break. I can't do these things when
I'm hungry. You know what they say : The
brain is connected to the stomach.
PAM
Who says that?
MICHAEL
Okay, now you're being silly, Pam.
Just...
(pointing)
Oh, look at Kevin...
Pam looks to Kevin, who is working at his desk. Ryan is
seeking advice on paper colors from Oscar. Pam turns
back in time to see Michael fleeing the office.
FADE OUT.
ACT THREE
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Michael sits in his car reading trivia card questions. A
Jeopardy game box sits on the passenger seat.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Roy leans on the front desk talking to Pam. Jim stands at
the copier trying to ignore the lover's quarrel.
ROY
We don't have that kind of money, babe.
PAM
I just...want it to be special.
ROY
What's not special about a heart shaped
tub?
This was not the right response.
PAM
Roy...We'll talk about this later.
ROY
Yeah, how 'bout next week when you're
not...you know.
PAM
(sternly)
Please go away.
Jim passes by on the way back to his desk.
ROY
(to Jim)
Be thankful you're single, buddy.
Jim looks to the camera, not sure how to respond.
INT. TALKING HEAD - JIM
JIM
No, I haven't been seeing anyone lately.
It's hard to meet anybody. Between
reality TV and sorting through junk mail,
who has the time?
(thinks on this)
Maybe I should get out more.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
A splotchy-faced Pam walks back from the bathroom. Jim
looks over at her. He moves toward her, but then decides
better of it.
Just then, Michael walks in carrying the Jeopardy game
under his arm.
JIM (CONT'D)
How's the test coming, Michael?
MICHAEL
More important things to do than a silly
test right now, Jim.
(addressing office)
Okay, folks. Listen up. I want everyone
to report to the training room in
approximately twenty minutes. And let me
just say that you're not going to want to
miss this, because we will be playing a
game.
DWIGHT
(pumping his arm)
Yes!
ANGELA
Is this mandatory?
MICHAEL
Oh, I don't know. Is fun mandatory?
ANGELA
You just answered my question with a
question.
MICHAEL
Well, hello, stick-in-the-mud. Yes, it's
mandatory.
INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL SCOTT
Michael taps on the Jeopardy game buzzer.
MICHAEL
Oh, man, does this bring back memories.
In high school I was on the Academic
team. I know, I know. Sounds nerdy. But
the ladies loved it. I would be like...
(slamming buzzer)
What is Lake Michigan.
(slamming buzzer)
Who is Mohavi Ghandi.
(slamming buzzer)
What is Ribonuclonic Acid.
Michael lets out a nostalgic sigh.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
That was mainly in the practice rounds
though, since I was an alternate. But
only because I had a broken foot.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
Michael arranges the room to resemble the Jeopardy set.
He tapes pieces of paper with categories ("Czech,
Please!" "The 'Reel' World," etc.) to the wall.
Michael spots Jim walking past.
MICHAEL
Oh, Jim, get in here. You'll love this.
Michael steers Jim's attention to a category titled "S
Words."
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
(Sean Connery a la Darrell
Hammond)
I'll take swwwords for five hundred,
Alex.
Jim gives a merciful chuckle.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
You know, the skit from Saturday Night--
JIM
Right, SNL. Yeah, I love that one.
MICHAEL
And then he's like, "You dego guinny
bastard. I was giving it to your mother
last night."
JIM
(lifting his eyebrows)
You want me to round everyone up?
Michael waves Jim away. He goes to the wall and pulls the
"S Words" title card down, obviously just a prop.
LATER
Everyone from the office has squeezed into the training
room.
MICHAEL
Alright. First off, I am going to need a
moderator.
DWIGHT
(holding his hand in the air)
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
MICHAEL
How 'bout...Stanley.
STANLEY
I'd rather not.
MICHAEL
Okay, then...Fine, Dwight.
DWIGHT
Thank you, Michael.
MICHAEL
Yeah, just...don't screw it up.
INT. TALKING HEAD - JIM
Jim holds up the Jeopardy game box and points to Alex
Trebek (emphasis on the mustache), then to Dwight in the
background.
JIM
It's uncanny.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
Dwight gets comfortable behind his podium, practicing his
posture.
MICHAEL
And we need contestant number one.
Michael pretends to scan the group, but he obviously has
his mark.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Uhhhhh....Oscar. C'mon down.
OSCAR
If it's okay with you, Michael, I think
I'll pass.
MICHAEL
Yeah, okay. Get on up here Oscar.
OSCAR
Really, I don't think so.
MICHAEL
Oh, don't be such a wetback.
The group is slack-jawed.
OSCAR
(indignantly)
Excuse me, Michael?
MICHAEL
(quickly correcting)
Blanket. Wet blanket.
Oscar is just mad enough now to want to embarrass Michael
by beating him.
OSCAR
I'll play.
MICHAEL
Great.
(announcer's voice)
Now, let's play Jeopardy.
PHYLLIS
I'll be the third contestant.
MICHAEL
Yeah, we'll just go with two. Otherwise
it'll take too long.
Michael looks to Dwight who is shuffling the cards.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
(urgently)
No, Dwight, what are you doing, you
idiot?
DWIGHT
Shuffling the cards to ensure fair play.
MICHAEL
No, you've ruined...Okay, damn't, fine.
INT. TALKING HEAD - RYAN
RYAN
I get paid no matter what we do all day.
So, no, I don't mind.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
Angela keeps score as Michael and Oscar stand at their
podiums.
OSCAR
Ronald Reagan.
DWIGHT
That is the correct--
MICHAEL
He didn't say it in the form of a
question.
(slamming his buzzer)
Who is Ronald Reagan.
LATER
Jim plays Pong on a cell phone. Pam watches from the
other side of the room.
DWIGHT
This African American actor--
Michael BUZZES in.
MICHAEL
Who is Morgan Freeman.
DWIGHT
That is incorr--
Michael BUZZES again.
MICHAEL
Who is Denzel Washington.
LATER
Michael fiddles with his buzzer.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
(huffing)
Oh, c'mon. Is this thing broken?
INT. OFFICE - DAY
A chorus of RINGING PHONES with no one to answer them.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
A text message interrupts Jim's game of Pong: "What
is...happy hour with Pam?" Jim suppresses a smile.
DWIGHT
Okay, people, we have reached Final
Jeopardy.
(looking to Angela)
Vanna, tell us the score.
ANGELA
Please stop calling me that. It doesn't
even make sense.
DWIGHT
(puppy doggish)
Sorry, Angela. Would you please tell us
the score?
ANGELA
Michael has six hundred dollars while
Oscar is in the lead with twelve hundred.
MICHAEL
Okay, this is it. No pressure, Oscar. Be
careful what you wager, 'cause I'm
betting the farm on this one. Every last
dollar.
Oscar sighs. He knows he would be stupid to win this
thing.
INT. TALKING HEAD - OSCAR
OSCAR
Am I really that smart? Well, I'm working
here, so you tell me.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
Stanley checks his watch, then shakes his head.
DWIGHT
Alright. You've placed your wager, so
here is the question: This 1968 comedy
film starring Barbara Streisand won her
an Oscar for best actress in a leading
role.
Jim starts in on the Jeopardy theme song. The rest of the
group slowly chimes in.
Oscar is not even attempting an answer, while Michael
anguishes over the question.
MICHAEL
Oh, c'mon, I know this.
The HUMMING intensifies.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Okay, shut up! That's not helping.
A scattered fall-off from the theme song, until Kevin is
the only one humming it. He stops.
DWIGHT
Okay, that's time. Let's see how you
answered. Michael, how much did you
wager?
Michael shows his card: $599.
DWIGHT (CONT'D)
And you answered...
Michael's answer is illegible.
DWIGHT (CONT'D)
What does that say?
MICHAEL
I don't know.
DWIGHT
Well, that takes you to one dollar,
Michael. Let's see how much Oscar
wagered.
Oscar holds up his card: $1200.
DWIGHT (CONT'D)
It looks like Oscar has wagered the full
amount. That means Michael can still win
if Oscar answers incorrectly. Not a smart
move. And you answered...
Oscar's card has been left blank.
DWIGHT (CONT'D)
Oscar put nothing. I'm sorry, that is
incorrect. The answer we were looking for
was "Funny Girl."
Michael realizes he has won.
MICHAEL
Ha! Victory is mine! Michael Scott: The
smartest guy in the room.
Michael gives a few apish hollers.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
You'd better get a pregnancy test, Oscar,
'cause I think I'm the daddy!
Confused looks.
STANLEY
Does this mean we can go home now?
INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL SCOTT
MICHAEL
Is it important to be smarter than
everybody else? Who knows. Probably. But
what I can tell you is that it all comes
down to how you use that knowledge. For
me, it's to make people laugh. To create
a comfortable, fun working environment.
If that's wrong, well, I don't want to be
right.
INSERT footage of the office gathered in the training
room for Jeopardy. Jim yells "Suck it, Trebek," at
Dwight. Michael catches on: "Yeah, that's the skit I was
doing. Yeah. Suck it, Trebek."
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
One of the smartest people in the history
of the world, Albert Einstein, actually
failed out of high school. It's true. He
never graduated. And then he went on to
discover plutonium. Think about that.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Kelly, Ryan, Kevin, and Meredith walk out as a group.
They pass by Jim.
RYAN
(to Jim)
Heading over to Poor Richards for some
trivia. Coming?
JIM
Got plans. Next time.
And they're gone.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Roy dangles a brochure for Jamaica in front of Pam.
PAM
(smiling)
Really?
A confident Jim turns the corner to leave, then sighs as
he sees Roy and Pam making up.
ROY
Only if I get to see you in a thong.
PAM
(blushing)
Roy.
Pam nuzzles up to Roy as they walk out. Jim stands there
left alone.
JIM
(to himself)
I'll take a rain check.
EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT - DAY
Everyone is leaving for the day. Jim walks out and
catches up to Ryan et al.
Dwight stands at his car examining his mustache in the
window reflection. Angela walks past him to her car,
parked next to his.
ANGELA
You look ridiculous with that thing.
DWIGHT
I know plenty of women who find it sexy.
ANGELA
I know women that refuse to kiss men if
they have a mustache.
Dwight ponders this.
INT. TALKING HEAD - DAY
A clean-shaven Dwight. A dab of tissue still clots a cut
from shaving.
DWIGHT
It was getting sort of itchy. I'm going
to write a letter to the editor of Men's
Fitness. I don't know how Chuck Norris
does it.
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW
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