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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Fourteen "The Death of Brian Vandele" Written by Vincent Biga Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Edward Drogos STORY EDITOR Rebecca Parker CONSULTING PRODUCER Max Majernik CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. Chris Hughes................................ Ellen Conner................................ Cathy Matthews.............................. Mr. John Parker............................. GUEST CAST LIST Stacy Cifaretto............................. Big Mike Le Cerva........................... Ms. Diane Ballard........................... Kelly States................................ Mrs. Larkin................................. David....................................... Kelly's Friend.............................. Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER FADE IN: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY. Brian is walking down the hallway when another student stops him. DAVID I thought you would like to know. BRIAN Like to know what? Who are you? DAVID I'm David, and you're going to die on Monday. BRIAN Monday? DAVID Monday. BRIAN Why Monday? DAVID Hey man, I was just told to pass along the word. BRIAN Well, is there anything I can do to prevent my death on Monday? DAVID Yes, yes there is, but you have to listen to me very carefully. BRIAN I'm listening. DAVID Ok first of all - As David starts talking Stacy runs up to Brian. STACY Hi Brian! David continues to talk incoherently. BRIAN Not right now Stacy! STACY Oh my gosh! I heard this story that you just HAVE to hear! BRIAN Stacy shut up! Stacy and David both continue talking so that we can't distinguish what either of them are saying. Brian is standing between them growing more and more frustrated. BRIAN (shouting) Stacy! Shut the hell up! Stacy stops talking. DAVID - and if you do all that you can avoid winding up in a twisted metal fireball of death. BRIAN Oh... Beat. BRIAN Do you think you could repeat that? DAVID I think not. Besides you're about to wake up. BRIAN What? CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S ROOM NIGHT The room is dark, Brian sits straight up in bed panting. He sits there a moment thinking. BRIAN She's in Chicago and she's still screwing me over. Brian falls back down to his bed. SMASH CUT TO: OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. AFTER CREDITS: FADE IN: INT. LUNCHROOM BEFORE SCHOOL WILL COOPER, JOEL MAYBERRY, BROCK WARNER, CASEY JENNINGS, REICTHER, and CHRIS HUGHES are sitting at a table chatting. CASEY So then it turned out to be a cyst instead of a tumor. Everyone gives an "oh." Suddenly Brian appears. BRIAN Everyone, I have an announcement. Everyone stops talking and looks at Brian. BRIAN I'm dying on Monday. Beat. JOEL What the fuck are you talking about? BRIAN I had a dream. In which David told me I was dying. WILL Who's David? Brian shrugs. BRIAN He might be the Grim Reaper's assistant, but I'm not sure. WILL Is there any way to prevent your untimely demise? BRIAN Yeah. WILL How? BRIAN I don't know. Stacy started talking to me when he got to that part. JOEL Stacy...your sister?. BRIAN Yep. JOEL (understandingly) Oh. Beat. JOEL (CONT'D) Wait I thought she was in Chicago. Why did she come back just to talk to you? BRIAN Because it was a dream. Anything can happen in dreams. CHRIS So you died in the dream? BRIAN No, pay attention! I'm going to die. WILL Hey Brian, since you're not going to be needing it can I have your stereo? BRIAN Sure! Anything you guys want just ask me, I won't need it. BROCK You're not going to die. BRIAN Sure I am. I saw it in a dream. BROCK Dreams don't mean a damn thing! Everyone stares at Brock. For a moment no one says anything. BROCK What? JOEL I don't know where you come from but around here dreams mean something. (to Brian) Now, what about your T.V. can I have that? Everyone starts talking, trying to cash in on Brian's death. Brock just looks frustrated. CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM - LATER Will and Brian have just walked in. BRIAN So basically it sucked, right? WILL Well, I would say it blew more than it sucked. BRIAN Is there really a difference? WILL That is the stupidest question I've heard! There is a world of difference between blows and sucks. BRIAN Care to elaborate? WILL Blows is like twenty times worse than sucks. BRIAN It all makes sense now. Will and Brian sit down. WILL Do you want to come see "Rise of the Persians" with me and Ellen? BRIAN You and Ellen? WILL Did I stutter? BRIAN No, but wouldn't that be like a date? WILL No, not really. Because I still don't know what our relationship is really. BRIAN Dude, you really need grow a pair and find out exactly what's going on between you two. WILL Why's everyone say that? MICHAEL "BIG MIKE" LE CERVA takes his seat next to Will and Brian. BIG MIKE Hey guys, what's new? WILL We were talking about seeing "Rise of the Persians" this weekend. BRIAN And I'm dying on Monday! BIG MIKE You've got to be kidding me! BRIAN No, seriously I had a dream and everything. BIG MIKE No I mean the movie. It looks God-awful. WILL What do you mean? I heard it got tons of good reviews. BIG MIKE It may be a decent movie but I refuse to see it on a matter of principal. BRIAN What principal? BIG MIKE On the principal that is just another knock-off epic movie that just clings to the coattails of other movies like The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and Troy. The whole epic genre is getting a tad trite. WILL You raise a good point but look at Sin City. BIG MIKE What about it? WILL It was basically a more stylized Pulp Fiction, but no one said anything about that and everyone loved it. BIG MIKE Ah, a good point but there haven't been an ass-load of movies copying the structure of Pulp Fiction like they've been doing to epics. WILL Touché. BIG MIKE You seem to know a lot about movies Will. WILL If I didn't have movies I would be nothing. BIG MIKE Is that a fact? Well then how would you like to challenge me in a Super Movie Trivia Challenge? Everyone in the room goes quiet and everyone is looking at them. BRIAN What's a Super Movie Trivia Challenge? MR. JOHN PARKER approaches them. PARKER A Super Movie Trivia Challenge is a game that I myself have created in order to test the knowledge of movie goers everywhere. BIG MIKE Yeah, and I just challenged Will, do you accept? WILL Well, I don't know... PARKER It would be a bad idea to back away from a Super Movie Trivia Challenge duel. WILL Why is that? PARKER Well the short version of the story is that you have to live the rest of your life in shame and you are forever doomed to walk with your head down, so how about it Will, do you accept? Will thinks for a second. WILL (V/O) I can beat this guy easily, hell I could beat him blindfolded. Although, being blindfolded wouldn't affect my ability to answer questions in any way, shape or form. Unless I had to answer questions while trying to dodge knives being thrown at me, now THAT would be hard. Oh crap, they're all staring at me, I better give an answer. WILL Sure I'd be happy to. PARKER Alright, the Super Movie Trivia Challenge will be held after school today. I wish I had more time, it's always good if you sell tickets to these things. Parker walks off, Big Mike gets up. BRIAN So Will, how are you feeling about the contest? WILL Brian, please. You're insulting me, it's in the bag. CUT TO: INT HALLWAY LATER Joel is walking down the hallway, heading towards his locker. He gets to his locker and opens it. Joel starts to go through it looking for something. JOEL What the fuck? Joel searches some more. JOEL Where is my calculator? I could have sworn I put it right here. CATHY MATTHEWS walks up to Joel. CATHY Hi Joel. Joel doesn't hear her and keeps looking. CATHY Joel. Joel still doesn't hear her. CATHY Joel! Joel keeps looking, after a second Cathy kicks him. CATHY Joel! Joel turns, startled. JOEL Oh, hello, I didn't see you there. CATHY I noticed. What are you doing? JOEL I'm looking for my calculator. I can't find it. CATHY So you misplaced it. JOEL No, I know where I placed it, but now its not there. CATHY So you lost it. JOEL I didn't lose it. CATHY Do you see it anywhere around here? JOEL No... CATHY Then it's lost. Beat. JOEL Shut up! CATHY Here. (hands him a calculator) Take mine, but don't lose it. It's my special calculator. JOEL Your special calculator? How can a calculator be special? CATHY Because it's pink and purple. JOEL Oh, I see now, its all making sense. The bell rings. CATHY I think that means it's time to get to class. JOEL I think you're right my dear. They both walk off in different directions. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - AFTER SCHOOL Will and Brian are walking and talking. BRIAN So, you feeling pretty confident? WILL Oh fuck yeah, I'll cream Big Mike. BRIAN Cocky people get on my nerves. WILL Yeah, me too...Wait are you saying I'm cocky? BRIAN That's what I was hinting at. WILL Hey man, I was just stating simple fact, movies are my life, there is no way I can lose. BRIAN But if you do lose you'll look like a huge jackass since you were so cocky about it. WILL Yeah but I won't lose so I don't have anything to fear. BRIAN Touché. Will and Brian enter the art room. INT. CLASSROOM CONTINUOUS There is a small crowd gathered around a table. At the end of the table sits Big Mike while Mr. Parker sits in the middle of the table, there is a seat open at the other end. There are two large red buttons on the table, one where Big Mike is sitting and another for the empty seat. BIG MIKE Glad to see you showed up Will, I was starting to think you chickened out. WILL You wish you were that lucky...Are those buzzers? PARKER Yes, I take the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge very seriously. Will takes the empty seat at the end of the table, Brian sits with the rest of the spectators. PARKER Okay, for anyone who may be new to the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge system I'm going to go over how the game works. In my years of movie- going I have made up questions based upon the films I have seen. I have then written these questions on the 3 by 5 cards which sit before me. He motions to a deck of cards in front of him. PARKER I will draw a card, it will have a question on it, I will ask the question, first person to get it right gets that point, we play to a set goal point. (to Will and Big Mike) What would you like to play to? BIG MIKE How about ten? WILL Sounds good to me. PARKER Alright, first question... PARKER picks up a card. PARKER The 2005 movie "A History of Violence" was based on a graphic novel by whom? We focus on Will who is about to hit his buzzer but we hear a buzzer sound off screen. We pan quickly to Big Mike. BIG MIKE John Wagner and Vince Locke. PARKER One point to Big Mike! BRIAN (whispering) Will! Will sighs. WILL What Brian? BRIAN I thought you said you were good at this. WILL Fuck you, Brian! EXT. SCHOOL - SAME Reicther is standing outside, waiting for his ride. There are two girls standing near him chatting. GIRL 1 So who's taking you to the dance? GIRL 2 Well, John asked me to the dance. GIRL 1 He's cute. GIRL 2 Yeah, but the problem is Rick asked me later that day and I forgot I said yes to John so now I have two dates to the dance. GIRL 1 Maybe you could swing one my way. GIRL 2 You don't have a date? GIRL 1 Nope, no one's asked me. Beat. GIRL 1 Do you think I'm ugly? GIRL 2 What?! No of course not, just ask anyone! (to Reicther) Hey you! REICTHER Me? GIRL 2 Yes, you. Do you think she's pretty? Reicther looks over the preppy stick thin girl. GIRL 2 Well? REICTHER Well, I think she could stand to loose a little weight. Both of the girls' mouths drop and they just stare at him for a second. REICTHER What? INT. HALLWAY - LATER Will and Brian are walking down the hallway. Neither of them speak for a moment. BRIAN It could have been worse. WILL (very angry) How the fuck could it have been worse!? BRIAN Well... Beat. BRIAN At least you're not dying on Monday. WILL Shut up! I don't want to hear it! BRIAN Alright, alright. They go back to silence for a moment. BRIAN You know, I never knew "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" was based off a book. Will gives Brian a dirty look. WILL Very funny. BRIAN Hey you lost, what can you do? WILL I can beat him! BRIAN Dude, let it go. WILL I will NOT let it go! There has to be someone who can help me! Will thinks for a second. WILL I've got it! Will runs off camera. Brian shrugs and keeps walking down the hallway. A student passes by Brian, he doesn't seem to notice, but a second later he gets a funny look on his face. Brian turns around and runs up to the student. BRIAN Hey you! The student turns around to reveal that it is David from Brian's dream. DAVID What? BRIAN It's you! DAVID What? BRIAN Do you know how I can avoid dying on Monday? DAVID You're dying on Monday? BRIAN Well, that's what you told me. DAVID When did I tell you this? BRIAN In a dream I had last night. DAVID Sorry, I'm in no way responsible for any of Dream David's actions. David walks off, Brian is left alone looking disappointed. BRIAN Are you sure? DAVID (O.S.) Positive. INT. SCHOOL - NEXT MORNING Ellen is sitting at a table doing some work, Will walks up to her. WILL Hey, Ellen. ELLEN Oh, hi Will. How are things? WILL Well, my best friend is going to die Monday. ELLEN That's awful! WILL It's not all bad, I get his stereo. Anyway, I was hoping you could help me with a problem of mine. ELLEN It isn't some kind of deep scarring emotional problem is it? WILL No, nothing like that. ELLEN Then I'm all ears friend. WILL Right, well yesterday Big Mike Le Cerva challenged me to the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge, and well, I lost. ELLEN Back up, did you say Big Mike Le Cerva? WILL Yeah, that's what I said. ELLEN Little brother to Big Josh Le Cerva? WILL I think he has a brother named Josh? ELLEN (angry shouting) That son of a bitch! Will is taken aback by this. WILL What? ELLEN Big Josh challenged me to the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge my freshman year and humiliated me! I never got the chance to get back at that bastard! WILL Does that mean you'll help me? ELLEN You can bet your sweet giblets I will! WILL Giblets? ELLEN Never mind those, you're going to challenge Big Mike again and you're going to win dammit! WILL Right now? ELLEN Now! WILL (shouting) Hey Big Mike! The camera pulls back and we can see Big Mike is sitting at the next table over. BIG MIKE Yeah? WILL I re-challenge you to the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge. BIG MIKE Alright, when? WILL (to Ellen) When? ELLEN Monday, before school starts. BIG MIKE Alright, I'll be there! The Camera pushes in so that Will and Ellen are the only focus. ELLEN Alright, now that the date is set we need to get to work. WILL Work? ELLEN Right, work, come to my house after school and we'll get started. You're lucky it's Friday, we have all weekend to train. WILL I'm not liking the sound of this. ELLEN That's too bad. You're seeing this through to the end. I WILL regain my lost honor! WILL You mean my lost honor right? ELLEN Yeah, yeah, whatever. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - SAME Joel is walking to his locker, opens it and starts to look for his books. JOEL What the...? Joel looks through his books furiously this time. JOEL What the hell? Where is my English book? Cathy walks up to Joel as he continues to search. CATHY Good morning Joel! Joel continues to search, not noticing her. Cathy sighs and kicks the door of Joel's locker. Joel stands up immediately. JOEL Oh, I didn't hear your approach. CATHY You don't hear a lot of things. What did you lose now? JOEL I didn't lose anything, my English book however was stolen. Cathy sighs. CATHY Who would steal a high school English book? JOEL Someone who...wanted to brush up on their English? CATHY Joel, no one is stealing your stuff, you just can't keep track of your things. JOEL Prove it. CATHY What? JOEL If you're so sure no one is stealing from my locker then put your special calculator in there all day and lets see if its still there at the end of the day. Cathy looks a little nervous. CATHY Well, I... Beat. CATHY My special calculator? JOEL If no one is stealing anything from my locker then you have nothing to worry about, right? CATHY Well... JOEL Or are you going to admit that you were wrong and that I haven't been losing my stuff? Cathy scowls, takes her calculator, puts it in Joel's locker and slams the door shut. CATHY I am NOT wrong. Cathy walks off, Joel shrugs then walks off in a different direction. INT. STUDY HALL - LATER Brian is sitting at a table, his head on his books sleeping. Brock is sitting on the other side of the table doing homework. MS. DIANE BALLARD walks up and wakes Brian up. BALLARD Did you have a nice dream Mr. Vandele? BRIAN Not really, my dreams haven't been very good lately. BALLARD You know, I didn't really want you to answer that question. BRIAN That's funny, I really didn't want you to wake me up. BALLARD Shouldn't you be doing homework instead of sleeping? BRIAN Well, I'm dying on Monday so I figure what's the point? We see that Brock looks annoyed that Brian is still talking about his death on Monday. Beat. BALLARD You're dying on Monday? Brock looks puzzled at Ballard's reaction. BRIAN That's what I said. BALLARD Do you have some kind of horrible disease? BRIAN Worse, I had a prophetic dream telling me that I was going to die. BALLARD Oh, I'm sorry. Brock looks surprised at her reaction. BALLARD (CONT'D) Have you made up a will? Those are always good to have before you die. Brock looks angry now. BRIAN No, I hadn't thought of that. BALLARD Well it's Friday, you definitely don't want to waste your last weekend writing it up. BRIAN That's a good idea, thanks Miss Ballard. BALLARD Anytime. Ballard exits. Brian gets out a piece of paper and starts writing. BROCK You know you're not dying on Monday. BRIAN Brock, we've been over this before, I had a DREAM. Dream's mean something, and this one means that I'm dying on Monday, get over it man, you're in denial. BROCK Dreams don't mean anything! BRIAN Dude, yes they do, dreams are very precise in their meaning. BROCK Ok then, did he say which Monday? Brian looks stumped. BRIAN What? BROCK Did David tell you what Monday you were dying? Did he specifically say you were dying this coming Monday? BRIAN Well, umm... Beat. BRIAN (CONT'D) It was implied. BROCK Bullshit! If he meant this Monday he would have said this Monday! You could die on a Monday seventy years from now! BRIAN No, then he would have said "You're going to die on a Monday" but he said "You're going to die Monday" there is no on a' in that sentence so it has to be this Monday. BROCK You have horrible grammar! That could have easily carried over into your dreams! BRIAN My grammar are just fine! BROCK (shouting) You're not dying Monday! BRIAN (also shouting) Yes I am! BROCK No you're - Ballard walks up to their table. BALLARD Brock! BROCK Yes? BALLARD Leave the dying boy alone! Ballard walks off, Brian has a smug look on his face while Brock just looks mad. CUT TO: INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM SAME The teacher is lecturing and Chris is sitting behind Reicther. CHRIS (to Reicther) Is it true? REICTHER Is what true? CHRIS Did you really tell Kelly States to loose some weight? REICTHER Who? CHRIS Kelly States, you know, short, blonde...thin. REICTHER Oh yeah, I told her that yesterday. CHRIS Are you serious? REICTHER Yeah? So what? CHRIS You know she has bulimia right? REICTHER Well, I do now. CHRIS Did you know that as soon as she got home yesterday she told her mom that she had to go to the gym because she's so fat and grotesque, according to you. REICTHER News to me. CHRIS Do you care at all? REICTHER Not particularly. CHRIS Did you also know that when she got to the gym she started doing laps up and down the pool? And in the middle of her 700th lap, this embolism popped in her brain and she dropped dead, right in mid-backstroke. REICTHER What? CHRIS Do you feel bad now? REICTHER Not particularly. CHRIS Not even a little bit? REICTHER Nope. It's her own fault for harboring a dormant embolism in her brain and not telling anyone about it. CHRIS Are you fucking kidding me? You don't feel bad at all? REICTHER No. (beat) Hey, did I really kill a girl? That is so cool. I'm putting that on my MySpace profile. That should up the number of hits on my blog, shouldn't it? CHRIS You unfeeling asshole. REICTHER Don't lie...you know you would read it. CHRIS You didn't kill a girl. REICTHER What? CHRIS You didn't kill a girl, I was just trying to see if I could glean a hint of sympathy or remorse for your actions from you. REICTHER You tried to trick me into feeling? You son of a bitch! CHRIS I hope a midget kicks you in the shins someday. REICTHER So do I. That would make for a very interesting story to put on my blog. In return, I hope that you grow a massive benign tumor so big that it actually makes you seem small in comparison. When the doctors finally are forced to remove it they will discover that it contains teeth, hair, and a working respiratory system. From then on you will be known only as "The boy with the living tumor" and I will laugh. Oh, how I will laugh. CHRIS You are a sick, sick man. REICTHER I believe that that's you, tumor-boy. MR. LARKIN, the assistant principal enters the classroom and the teacher stops lecturing. TEACHER Is there something I can help you with Mr. Larkin? LARKIN Yes, I need to see one of your Students...Mr. Reicther. REICTHER Me? LARKIN Yes, you. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY LATER Joel and Cathy are walking hand in hand down the hallway. CATHY So, what did you think of that child birth video? JOEL It was very...Graphic... CATHY It makes me not want to have kids. JOEL It makes me not want to watch. Joel comes to his locker and opens it up. CATHY Well, if your wife is anything like me she'll make you watch as long as you're making her have the baby. JOEL Umm, Cathy? CATHY What? JOEL Did you take your special calculator out of my locker? CATHY No. Why? JOEL It's not here any more. CATHY What!? JOEL (louder) Its not here anymore! Cathy pushes Joel aside and starts to go through his locker furiously. CATHY It HAS to be here! JOEL It's not there. CATHY I can see that! Cathy looks around, then slams the locker door. CATHY Come with me. Cathy leads Joel to a corner down the hall. JOEL Now what? CATHY Now we wait! JOEL Wait for what? CATHY We wait for the son of a bitch that is stealing stuff from your locker! JOEL Now you're talking! Cathy and Joel pop their heads around the corner to keep an eye on Joel's locker. CUT TO: INT. ASSISSTANT PRINICPAL'S OFFICE SAME Reicther sits across from Mr. Larkin. LARKIN Now, do you have any idea why you are here Mr. Reicther? REICTHER No, nothing come to mind. LARKIN Are you sure you have no idea why you could be here? REICTHER Sure as sure can be. LARKIN Perhaps you said something inappropriate to someone? Could that be why you're here? Reicther thinks for a moment. REICTHER No, I don't think so. Larkin gives Reicther a look. LARKIN You're here because you told a bulimic student that she needed to lose weight. Does that ring any bells? REICTHER Oh, that yeah, I remember now. LARKIN You don't seem to grasp how serious this is. REICTHER Serious? LARKIN That's what I said. REICTHER How serious is it? LARKIN Well, we've notified your parents. Beat. REICTHER Is that it? LARKIN And you have to apologize to her. REICTHER I can do that. LARKIN A written apology. REICTHER (a little frustrated) Ok, fine. LARKIN And you have to read it to her. REICTHER Don't you think that's a tad much? LARKIN Well it's either that or serve detention every day after school for the rest of this year. Reicther sighs. REICTHER Fine, I'll apologize to the stupid bulimic girl. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY A LITTLE LATER. Joel and Cathy have fallen asleep and are leaning against the wall, snoring. We hear a locker door slam and Cathy stirs. She looks around the corner. CATHY Joel! Joel is still asleep, Cathy hits him awake. JOEL (coming out of a dream) But I don't want to go down the big boy slide... CATHY Joel wake up! Joel snaps to. JOEL I'm awake! I'm awake! CATHY It's the guy who's been stealing your stuff. Joel turns the corner Joel's POV: We see a large figure walking away from Joel's locker. JOEL Great! (pause) What do I do now? CATHY Go tackle that bastard! While still in Joel's POV we see Joel start to chase the man. JOEL You son of a bitch! We get out of Joel's POV as he tackles the thief. The thief is on the ground with Joel on top of him, Cathy runs up. CATHY Where is my special calculator!? JOEL What do you have to say for yourself, you sick bastard? THIEF I surrender! Joel recognizes his voice. JOEL What the - Joel turns the thief over, revealing it to be Casey Jennings. CASEY Hi Joel. JOEL You were the one stealing stuff from my locker? Joel lets Casey up. CASEY Well, it was more of a "borrowing." JOEL What? CASEY I meant to return everything... eventually. JOEL How long have you been doing this? CASEY Oh, you know, since freshman year. JOEL Freshman year!? CASEY Oh yeah. JOEL Well...Can I have my stuff back? CASEY Sure! Casey walks to a nearby locker. CATHY Those lockers are empty. CASEY They only want you to think that, this is where I keep my stash. Casey opens up the locker to reveal a ton of stuff. Joel and Cathy start to look through it. JOEL Jesus, Casey. CATHY My special calculator! JOEL You took Brian's light saber? CASEY Yeah, why? JOEL Well, I thought he was going to kill some one when he 'lost' it. CASEY Yeah, his face got so red...I really should give that back to him sometime, he is dying on Monday and all. The bell rings. Students begin flooding out of the classrooms. CASEY Well, sounds like it's quitting time. CATHY You mean we wasted the whole day waiting for you? CASEY Yeah, I guess so. Casey walks off. CATHY Sometimes I really hate your friends. JOEL I do too. Joel and Cathy walk off screen hand in hand, for a moment we just see random students walk by the camera, Reicther walks on screen holding a piece of paper, the camera starts to follow him. Reicther sees the girl, KELLY STATES, he insulted and approaches her. REICHTER Hello. KELLY What do you want? REICTHER I had to write you an apology and read it to you so I wouldn't get a ton of detentions. KELLY Oh? REICTHER Yeah, here it goes. Reicther clears his throat. REICTHER (reading off paper) I'm sorry. Beat. Reicther puts the paper down. KELLY That's it? REICTHER Well yeah, what more did you want me to say? KELLY Nothing really, but why even bother writing it down? REICTHER Well, I did draw a bunch of frownie faces on it to show you how sorry I was. Reicther hands her the paper. KELLY It looks like a first grader drew this stuff. REICTHER At least this first grader doesn't need to lose some weight. Reicther walks off, the girl's face is in shock. We follow him for a bit but we see Brian and Brock going the other direction, the camera then follows them. BRIAN I finished my will, you get my bean bag chair. BROCK First of all you're not going to die. Second, I hate that thing, it smells like cheese...really bad cheese. BRIAN Well, you're getting it regardless, and for the last time let it go, my death's a commin for me on Monday and there is nothing anyone can do about it. BROCK You're full of shit. BRIAN No, I'm pretty sure its just gas. We follow them a bit longer, we then see Will at his locker in the background, we focus on him. Will gets everything in his backpack and shuts the locker door, as he does we see that Ellen was hiding behind the locker. ELLEN Are you ready? WILL For rehearsals? ELLEN Hell no, we're skipping that, you need to train as much as you can. WILL Train? ELLEN Did you forget about the Ultimate Movie Trivia Challenge? WILL Well, no... ELLEN Great! Let's get going. Ellen leads Will by the arm. INT. ELLEN'S HOME LATER. Will is sitting on a couch, waiting for Ellen. She enters a second later with a huge stack of DVD's WILL We're going to watch ALL of those? ELLEN Why not? We have all weekend. Will sighs. WILL Alright, put the first one in. Ellen moves to put the first DVD in, we start a musical montage of Ellen and Will watching the movies with The Ramones "Blitzkrig Bop" playing over it. We cut back and forth from Will and Ellen getting progressively more and more tired and the DVD stack slowly getting smaller. We come to the end of the montage. They are both extremely tired. ELLEN Did you get all that? WILL I think so...What day is it? ELLEN I think its Sunday. WILL Oh, I wonder if my parents know where I am. ELLEN Well, did you call them? WILL I can't remember. ELLEN Me neither. Beat. WILL Well, I'm going home to pass out in my bed. Will gets up to leave. CUT TO: INT. LUNCHROOM MONDAY MORNING. Joel, Reicther and Brock are sitting around talking. Brian walks up, clearly still very much alive. JOEL So, Brian, you're not dead. BROCK I fucking told you! BRIAN Well, I found a magic ring this weekend - Brian holds up his hand and we see a black ring on his finger. BRIAN (CONT'D) - So I figure that's what's keeping me alive. Brian sits down. REICTHER So, where did you find a magic ring? BRIAN I bought it from that Buddhist store in the mall, the guy said it wards off death. Everyone gives Brian a look. BRIAN What? JOEL How much did you pay for that ring? BRIAN Thirty-five dollars, why? BROCK You wasted five dollars on some cheap ring!? BRIAN It's a magic ring. BROCK Bullshit! JOEL Well, it did come from that Buddhist store in the mall. BROCK You're siding with him? JOEL Yeah. BROCK You're all insane! Brock gets up and storms off. BRIAN Brock can be a bit touchy. Brian looks around. BRIAN Have you guys seen Will anywhere? I need to break the bad news to him, he's not getting my stereo after all. CUT TO: INT. PARKER'S ROOM SAME. The contest between Will and Big Mike is nearly finished. They are both staring one another down. PARKER Alright, it's all tied up, the person who gets this next question wins it all. We do a close up on Will, then on Big Mike, then on Ellen looking nervous. Parker picks up a card. PARKER The question is about "A Weekend at Bernie's" Close up on Will and Big Mike staring each other down again, their hands tense and read to slam on the buzzer. PARKER The actor that played Bernie broke a few of these as a result of playing a dead man. What did he break? Big Mike and Will go for the buzzer at the same time, but Will manages to get there first. PARKER Will for the win! WILL He broke some of his ribs! PARKER That's right! The bell rings. PARKER Well, its time to get to class. Everyone starts to leave. WILL What? That's it? I don't get any kind of award? PARKER Well, he did win the first round only by a whole bunch. BIG MIKE Good match Will. They shake hands. Will and Ellen are left alone. WILL After all that I don't feel like I really won anything. Ellen smiles and kisses him on the cheek. ELLEN Is that better? WILL Much. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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