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THE LUNCHROOM
Episode Twelve
"The Art of Folding"
Teleplay by
Stephen Guptill & Vincent Biga
Story by
Bruce Snyder
Created by
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Vincent Biga
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Edward Drogos
STORY EDITOR
Rebecca Parker
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Max Majernik
CAST LIST
Will Cooper.................................
Joel Mayberry...............................
Brian Vandele...............................
Brock Warner................................
Reicther....................................
Casey Jennings..............................
Chris Hughes................................
Ellen Conner................................
Cathy Matthews..............................
Mr. John Parker.............................
GUEST CAST LIST
Ms. Diane Ballard...........................
James Kelly.................................
Amy.........................................
John........................................
Clerk.......................................
Copyright © Bruce Snyder
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY
Reicther is walking down the hallway of the School. John
comes up next to him.
JOHN
Hey.
REICTHER
Hey.
JOHN
Are you busy right now?
REICTHER
Well...Not really, Why?
JOHN
Well, I've heard that you're an
asshole with no feelings.
Reicther gives him a look.
REICTHER
You're really not winning me over,
John.
JOHN
No, no. It's just that...Well, I
was wondering if you would break me
and my girlfriend up for me.
Reicther gives him a look before he scoffs.
REICTHER
Look buddy. I may be an asshole but
I don't help cowards. I would never
do something that low -
JOHN
I've got money.
REICTHER
- Unless I'm being compensated.
JOHN
How much will it take?
REICTHER
15.
JOHN
10.
REICTHER
Deal.
They shakes on it.
SMASH CUT TO:
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
credits.
AFTER CREDITS:
INT. LUNCHROOM - NOON
WILL COOPER, JOEL MAYBERRY, BRIAN VANDELE, BROCK WARNER,
CASEY JENNINGS, Reicther, and CHRIS HUGHES are sitting
around a table eating lunch.
Will is discussing a movie entitled "Morning Zombies."
WILL
All I'm saying is that the should
have killed off Pete.
BRIAN
Oh, come on, He was the best
character.
CHRIS
Well, any movie called "Morning
Zombies" is gonna be stupid.
WILL
Shut up, you Brit.
CHRIS
Honestly, who gives a crap about a
movie, where a Zombie wakes up and
eats a person for breakfast. And
then, you see the Zombie eat
another person for breakfast, the
next day, and then the day after
that, and so on, until the end of
the bloody movie.
Pause.
WILL
Pete should have died.
CHRIS
Does nobody even care of that
logical statement I just said?
WILL
Nice Logic, Einstein.
CHRIS
Your all idiots.
Amy walks into the Cafeteria.
REICTHER
That's my cue.
WILL
What? You going to ask her out?
REICTHER
I'm going to break up with her.
Reicther heads towards Amy.
BROCK
Since when Did Reicther have a
girlfriend?
WILL
Never knew he had a secret
relationship going on.
Camera zooms over to Reicther and Amy, who are talking.
Amy is on the verge of tears.
AMY
So...That's it? He's not even going
to say sorry?
REICTHER
Nope. Guess not.
AMY
Your some help.
REICTHER
Well, I'm not getting paid to be
comforting.
AMY
Wait! He paid you to break up with
me?
REICTHER
Oops.
Amy punches Reicther in the throat.
AMY
All men are idiots.
Amy leaves.
REICTHER
Pleasure doing business with you.
CUT TO:
INT. PIZZA PLACE - AFTER SCHOOL
Cathy, Joel, and Chris sitting in a pizza place. Cathy
is writing on a piece of paper, furiously.
CHRIS
I love pizza.
JOEL
I thought your kind favored
Crumpets in the garden.
CHRIS
Shut up.
JOEL
Well, I have to take a trip to the
loo. Want anything?
Joel heads off to the bathroom. Chris sits there eating
a piece of pizza, while Cathy continues to write.
CHRIS
Hey, Cathy.
Cathy does not hear him.
CHRIS
Cathy?
Again Cathy does not hear him.
CHRIS
Hey you!
He tosses his pizza crust at her.
CATHY
What?!
CHRIS
What are you working on.
CATHY
Well, you won’t tell any one right?
CHRIS
Well, if it involves cruelty to
animals, or underage kids, then
I might have too.
CATHY
I'm planning a perfect kiss with
Joel.
CHRIS
Oh. Fun.
CATHY
Now that you know, how does this
sound? Me and Joel will go to the
movies, and then after we'll go for
a walk in the park, at night, so
the moon will be out, and then
we'll kiss. Isn't it beautiful?
CHRIS
(sarcastic)
Precious.
CATHY
Now, I want this to be this
Saturday, so what movie should we
see, I'm thinking, Morning Zombies,
but it's not exactly romantic -
CHRIS
Here comes Joel.
CATHY
Remember, you don't know anything.
CHRIS
Know about what?
CATHY
About - Oh your good.
She goes back to furiously writing down her plan.
JOEL
So, your still working on that?
Remind me again what your working
on?
CATHY
Oh, shoot! Look at the time. Got to
go.
Cathy jumps up and leaves, leaving her purse there.
JOEL
Was it something I said?
CHRIS
Maybe it's because you touch
yourself at night.
JOEL
And I do it because you touch
yourself at night. Oh shit she
forgot her purse. I'll go catch up
to her.
He grabs the purse and runs off. Chris calls after him.
CHRIS
Hey, You!
A women turns around from the counter.
CHRIS
Oh. I mean the boy with the purse.
JOEL
What?
Chris does the gesture for 'call me' and mouths the
words. The women gives them a strange look.
Joel raises his middle finger.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - NEXT DAY
Reicther is walking down the hallway, slowing feeling
his throat. Out of nowhere John comes running up.
REICTHER
You owe me fifteen dollars.
JOHN
Like hell I do. You did - wait we
agreed on ten.
REICTHER
Yeah, but that was before she
punched me in the throat!
JOHN
She punched you?
REICTHER
Yeah. So pay up.
JOHN
No way you didn't get the job done.
REICTHER
Yes I did, I told her that you were
broken up.
JOHN
Yeah but that's not good enough for
Her. Last night she sent me a
thirty-five page long e-mail
explaining that we were still a
couple.
REICTHER
Thirty-five pages?
JOHN
Yeah...
REICTHER
Ouch. I can see why you want to
break up with her. Wait did you
read all of the e-mail?
Beat.
REICTHER
Well did you?
JOHN
Yeah...
REICTHER
You deserve her.
JOHN
Shut up, your not getting your ten
dollars until were officially
broken up.
REICTHER
Fifteen.
JOHN
We agreed on ten!
REICTHER
I was injured on the job! Haven't
you heard of workers compensation?
JOHN
This isn't a democracy -
REICTHER
Bureaucracy.
JOHN
What?
REICTHER
America is a bureaucracy, not a
democracy.
JOHN
I always thought of us more as a
theocracy.
REICTHER
What are you crazy? That goes
against everything that's in the
constitution.
JOHN
The government only claims to not
be swayed by religion, I mean we
have a national cathedral for
Christ’s sake! Where is the
National Buddhist temple or the
National Synagogue?
REICTHER
That's a good point.
JOHN
WAIT! Stop getting me off topic!
REICTHER
Oh, okay...What were we talking
about?
JOHN
End it with me and Amy or you won't
get your ten dollars!
John walks away.
REICTHER
Its still fifteen! God hates
cheapskates!
CUT TO:
INT. DRESSING ROOM - AFTER SCHOOL
Will walks into the dressing room as he does he sees
JAMES KELLY in the room, he has his shirt off and from
his body position we can see that he’s about to drop his
pants.
WILL
Oh, sorry James. I didn’t know you
were in here.
JAMES
It's alright.
Will starts to leave.
JAMES
Wait! Your that Cooper kid right?
Will stops and turns around.
WILL
Yeah what about it?
JAMES
Oh I'll tell you! Everyday I'm the
last one to leave and everyday
Ballard bitches to me about how
your costume isn't folded properly!
WILL
Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll try better next
time.
JAMES
You're not getting off the hook
that easy.
WILL
I'm not...?
JAMES
No, I’m going to show you how to
properly fold your costume.
WILL
You are?
JAMES
Heck yes I am, here watch.
James picks up his shirt and starts folding it neatly.
Will watches and pretends to pay attention while trying
not to look down there.
James finishes.
JAMES
See? Not that hard now is it?
WILL
Doesn't look that way.
JAMES
Great! Now for the trousers!
WILL
What!?
James drops his pants and he puts them on the table,
James is now completely naked.
WILL
Umm...
JAMES
What?
WILL
Nothing I'm just kind of wondering
why you don't wear underwear.
JAMES
I always thought the damn things
were very uncomfortable.
WILL
I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable
right about now.
JAMES
What?
WILL
Oh nothing.
JAMES
Right! Back to folding.
James starts to neatly fold his pants. We focus on Will
who is looking very, very uncomfortable.
WILL (O.S.)
Don't look at his crotch, don't
look at this crotch, God please
don't let me look at his crotch.
We see Will’s eyes move for a second.
WILL (O.S.)
Oh god he hasn't been circumcised!
After what seems like an eternity James finishes folding
his clothes.
JAMES
Now, that doesn't look so hard
does it?
WILL
N-No, it doesn't.
JAMES
Good, now can you give me some
privacy and let me get dressed?
WILL
Yeah sure.
Will walks out of the room, after he closes the door he
looks down at the floor.
WILL
I feel small...
We pan over from Will to see MR. JOHN PARKER and MS.
DIANE BALLARD standing in the back of the auditorium
looking towards the stage. We zoom in on them to hear
their conversation.
BALLARD
I think we should push back the
opening night date.
PARKER
What? Why?
BALLARD
I don't think the kids are ready,
there just not professional enough
to put on a serious production.
Parker gives her a look.
PARKER
It's a high school play, this isn't
Shakespeare in the Park!
BALLARD
The students are still far too
unprofessional.
PARKER
What do you mean?
BALLARD
Well for one thing when every time
someone comes to the word 'tit' in
their lines everyone starts to
giggle.
Parker giggles.
PARKER
Tit...that's a funny word.
BALLARD
Will you be serious for once?
PARKER
Sorry, I use humor as a defense
mechanism.
BALLARD
You're a sad, sad little man.
PARKER
You're the kind of person that goes
to comedies and doesn't laugh
aren't you?
BALLARD
What are you inferring?
PARKER
You infer, I imply.
BALLARD
Wait a minute you stole that line
from a TV show!
PARKER
(under his breath)
Know it all bitch...
BALLARD
What was that!?
PARKER
You heard what I said!
Parker starts to walk to his office; Ballard follows.
BALLARD
Yes I know exactly what you said
and I demand and apology this
instant!
They enter his office.
CUT TO:
MR. PARKER'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
They are in Parker's office now. Parker's desk is
separating the two from killing each other.
PARKER
Jesus, can't you just take a joke?!
BALLARD
That was a joke of no kind it was
an insult to my character!
PARKER
How about this one? You're a filthy
dirty slut!
Both of them are silent a moment, then with out warning
Parker flings everything off his desk and Parker and
Ballard begin to kiss passionately while mounting the
desk.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - MINUTES LATER
ELLEN CONNER has just arrived and looks around.
ELLEN
I wonder where Parker and Ballard
are...
Ellen shrugs it off and walks over to Will who is
sitting down against a wall looking at the floor.
ELLEN
Hey how's it going?
Will doesn't say anything. After a second Ellen kicks
him.
WILL
Hmm? What?
ELLEN
I asked how you were.
WILL
Oh...I think I just died a little
inside.
ELLEN
Now you've got me interested. What
happened?
WILL
I don't want to talk about it.
ELLEN
Oh come on its not like you got
butt raped by a butt pirate looking
for booty.
WILL
No, I think this is a little worse.
ELLEN
With this kind of trauma you should
always open up to outside help for
support.
WILL
Shut up!
ELLEN
Alright, alright.
Ellen sits down next to Will. For a moment neither of
them say anything.
WILL
I think it moved.
Ellen gives Will a puzzled look while Will is still
staring at the floor.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - SAME
Reicther closes his locker and sees Amy down the
hallway. He opens up his locker again, takes a cup from
his locker we see him put it in his pants (off screen.)
After some fidgeting he knocks against the plastic cup.
REICTHER
Don't worry guys...your safe now.
Reicther closes his locker and approaches Amy.
Amy sees Reicther coming and reaches into her purse for
something. Reicther approaches close enough to talk to
her.
REICTHER
Hi Amy I -
Suddenly Amy maces Reicther and he falls backwards and
starts to wriggle on the floor in pain.
AMY
Tell that bastard to grow a pair
and have him break up with me
himself.
REICTHER
But then I won't get paid!
Amy kicks Reicther in the crotch but we hear the cup
deflect it. Reicther sits up and points at her.
REICTHER
HA HA!
Amy maces him again. Amy walks away as Reicther is
wriggling on the floor.
REICTHER
(yelling)
This isn't over! That fifteen
dollars will be mine!
CUT TO:
INT. SIDEWALK - MINUTES LATER
Joel is walking down the sidewalk when Cathy comes up,
takes him by the arm and starts walking with him.
JOEL
Hey you.
CATHY
I was thinking about a movie, me
and you.
JOEL
What is it?
CATHY
Well it's a punch of still images
on film that when showed in
sequence on after another creates
the illusion of motion and along
with audio tracks a story is told;
but that's not important. Do you
want to go or not?
Joel laughs.
JOEL
Sure, what movie?
CATHY
I was thinking about "Love At First
Sight."
JOEL
Ugh, a chick flick?
CATHY
Is there any other kind of flick?
JOEL
Well there are war flicks, action
flicks, porno flicks -
Cathy gives him a look.
JOEL (CONT'D)
Not that I would know anything
about those kinds of flicks.
CATHY
Let me put it this way: are there
any other kinds of date flicks?
Joel thinks for a second.
JOEL
Well when you put it like that it
sounds a hell of a lot better.
Cathy smiles.
CATHY
Good it's settled then!
(under her breath)
Part one of operation perfect kiss
complete.
JOEL
What?
CATHY
Oh, nothing.
Reicther walks up to join them, his eyes are very red.
JOEL
Hey Reicther - Holy shit what
happened to your eyes!?
REICTHER
Mace.
CATHY
Try to get fresh with a girl?
REICTHER
No, trying to break up with her.
JOEL
You have a girlfriend?
REICTHER
No, I’m doing it for someone else.
CATHY
Why?
REICTHER
There was money promised.
JOEL
How much?
REICTHER
Fifteen.
As Reicther says this they walk by John.
JOHN
We agreed on ten!
REICTHER
(to Joel)
Oh, I'm getting that fifteen.
Reicther looks as if he’s just remembered something, he
reaches off-screen and after a second pulls out the cup.
REICTHER
These things are really
uncomfortable.
JOEL
That's kind of gross Reicther.
CATHY
Just a bit.
CUT TO:
INT. MR. PARKER'S OFFICE - LATER
Parker and Ballard and sitting on the desk just staring
into space.
BALLARD
That was...interesting.
PARKER
Yep.
BALLARD
Well, at least I have an answer for
when ever someone asks me where the
strangest place I did it was.
PARKER
Yep.
Ballard notices that all he's saying is "yep."
BALLARD
(testing him)
The sky is made of cotton candy and
the stars are really holes in a tin
roof that hovers over Earth.
PARKER
Yep.
Beat.
PARKER
Well, it looks like rehearsals are
still going on.
BALLARD
No shit.
PARKER
Look -
Parker turns and points at her, as he does he realizes
his finger is prodding into her breast. He quickly pulls
his hand back and they both look away from each other.
PARKER
Well it looks like its time to go.
BALLARD
Looks like it.
They both stand up. They face each other, not really
sure what to do, after a tense moment they both walk
over to each other and start to kiss.
BALLARD
Do you think you can "go" again?
PARKER
I'm always ready for seconds.
They fall onto the desk, kissing.
CUT TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER THAT NIGHT
Joel and Cathy enter the theater and walk up to the
Clerk.
JOEL
Two for "Love At First Sight."
The Clerk gives them a look.
CLERK
Umm...
CATHY
'Umm?' 'Umm' isn't good.
CLERK
Well, that movie started over an
hour ago.
Cathy has a look of disbelief.
CATHY
Shit, I must have looked at last
weeks paper.
JOEL
It's okay; Umm, what is starting
now?
CLERK
Well, "Morning Zombies" is starting
in five minutes.
Joel looks exited while Cathy looks disgusted.
CLERK
Do you guys want that?
JOEL
Sure!
CATHY
Are you sure there's nothing else
on?
CLERK
Sure as- ummm...err...
JOEL
Sugar?
CLERK
How is sugar sure?
JOEL
I'm not quite sure myself.
CATHY
Alright, alright, we’ll take
"Morning Zombies."
Joel seems very exited, Cathy shoots him a look. Joel's
expression turns stoic.
JOEL
Two for "Morning Zombies" please.
CLERK
Sure thing.
CATHY
(to herself)
Well this is off to a great start...
TIME FADE TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER
Joel and Cathy have just taken their seats.
CATHY
What is this movie even about?
JOEL
I heard it was about a zombie who
eats someone everyday for breakfast.
CATHY
Zombies have breakfast?
JOEL
Duh.
CATHY
But to have breakfast you have to
sleep.
JOEL
No you don't.
CATHY
Yes you do, your breaking your fast
when you eat breakfast.
JOEL
Well that's true...And zombies
don't sleep s...
(pause)
Oh my God this movie is going to
suck!
Joel has a look of horror on his face while Cathy’s
expression just screams "duh."
A MAN and his wife sit behind Joel and Cathy. Just as
they sit down the room does dark and the movie starts.
We can hear the previews starting to roll; a comedy
movie is shown and the man who is sitting behind them
starts laughing very obnoxiously and kicks the back of
Cathy's seat. (They are in a stadium seating theater so
his kicks are hitting very high.)
Cathy looks very annoyed by this and makes a face of
disgust.
Joel sees this.
JOEL (O.S.)
This is my chance...My chance to be
a man!
Joel stands up and turns to face the man.
JOEL
Stop kicking my girlfriend's seat
you fucking jack ass!
Cathy looks shocked. The man slowly gets up from his
seat.
MAN
What did you say to me?
The man is huge, it looks like his muscles are about to
rip his shirt apart at any second.
JOEL
Oh shit...
CUT TO:
EXT. MOVIE THEATER - MINUTES LATER
Joel is sitting on curb with a baggy of ice over his
eye. Cathy comes out.
CATHY
I was able to get a refund.
JOEL
Okay cool. Does it look any better?
Joel moves the ice pack, his eye is dark purple and
nearly swollen shut. Cathy gives him a nervous smile.
CATHY
Better...better keep the ice on it
though.
JOEL
Yeah good idea.
Cathy sits down next to him and Joel puts the ice back
on his eye. Cathy leans over to one side and pulls out a
piece of paper from her pocket.
We can see that it was her plan for the perfect kiss.
She takes a pen and scratches off "See a movie" from her
list. She folds it up and puts it back into her pocket.
CATHY
(nervously)
So, how about a moonlit stroll
around the park?
JOEL
I dunno, doesn’t moonlight cause you
cancer?
CATHY
Get over it, everything causes
cancer nowadays.
JOEL
How right you are.
Joel gets up.
JOEL
Let's go my dear.
Cathy stands up and they walk away arm-in-arm.
FADE TO:
INT. PARK - LATER
Joel and Cathy walk to a pond and stop to admire it.
Cathy doesn't seem too pleased though.
CATHY
Where's the moon? I thought tonight
was a full moon, where the hell is
it?
Joel shrugs.
JOEL
Clouds I guess.
CATHY
No, no, no! This is all wrong!
Cathy sits down and starts to hold her head.
JOEL
What? What's wrong? It's just the
moon, it'll be back. Kinda like the
sun.
CATHY
Yeah, but this was supposed to be
OUR moon Joel.
JOEL
What do you mean?
CATHY
I had this whole night planned out,
we were going to see a nice movie
then have a moonlit stroll and have
a perfect kiss in front of the pond
but its all going to hell!
Pause.
JOEL
Look, we don't need all that fancy
stuff.
CATHY
But I wanted us to have a kiss that
would be special and memorable. I
wanted to be able to remember this
night crystal clear for the rest of
my life.
JOEL
But you will!
Cathy gives him a funny look.
CATHY
What do you mean?
JOEL
Just think about what's happened
tonight. I mean, we got the wrong
movie times, we had to see a
horrible movie and I got my ass
kicked while trying to defend your
honor. Trust me, your going to
remember this for a very long time.
Cathy smiles.
CATHY
I didn't think of it that way.
They both look into each other’s eyes for a moment, then
they kiss. When they are done Joel looks up.
JOEL
Hey, there’s our moon!
Cathy smiles and they both stand up to admire the moon.
The camera starts to pull back from a shot of their
backs as the watch the moon. As we pull back he ground
that Joel is standing on gives way and he falls into the
pond.
JOEL
God damn it!
Cathy starts to laugh hysterically.
JOEL
It's not funny its cold in here!
Joel grabs her leg and pulls her in too. They both start
to laugh.
FADE TO:
INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA - NEXT DAY (BEFORE SCHOOL)
We see Reicther sitting alone at a table with a chess
board in front of him, he looks like he’s waiting. John
and Amy approach from two different directions.
JOHN
What is this about?
AMY
A note on my locker told me to come
here.
They notice each other.
JOHN
Oh...you didn't say she was going
to be here.
AMY
Shut up.
JOHN
You shut up!
REICTHER
Both of you shut up!
They both look at Reicther a little surprised.
REICTHER
Sit!
They both do so.
REICTHER
Two days ago I was approached by
John to break up with his
girlfriend for him at the promise
of some money. Now I've tried to
accomplish this for the past two
days but it just isn't working, and
after some hard thinking I've come
to a conclusion.
Reicther pushes the chess board between John and Amy.
REICTHER
You two have to play for it.
JOHN
What?
AMY
What the hell are you talking
about?
REICTHER
It's clear what's going on here,
there is a conflict of interests;
one person wants to end it, the
other doesn't so the only real way
to solve this is through a game of
chess. If John wins you guys are
broken up and he'll pay me my
fifteen dollars, if Amy wins you
guys are still together and she'll
give me fifteen dollars out of
gratitude for saving her
relationship. Is this agreeable?
John and Amy both look at each other.
JOHN
(to Reicther)
That's fucking stupid.
AMY
(to Reicther)
Are you out of your mind?
JOHN
All this is a break-up.
AMY
Yeah. It's nothing real complex
that needs chess to solve it.
John and Amy laugh.
JOHN
(mocking Reicther)
"Play chess for your destiny"
Amy and John start to giggle. Reicther seems a bit hurt
by this. Pause. John and Amy look at each other for a
while.
JOHN
I've been thinking...
AMY
About?
JOHN
Maybe I still want to be your
boyfriend.
AMY
You do?
JOHN
Yeah going though this has showed
me just how much you care about me.
AMY
I told you.
JOHN
Want to grab something to eat?
AMY
Yeah. Why not.
Both get up and hug. John and Amy are about to walk away
when:
REICTHER
Wait!
JOHN
What?
REICTHER
What about my money?
JOHN
Well...We made up. I said I would
pay you if you broke us up. But
we're still together so you don't
get anything.
REICTHER
Your joking right?
JOHN
Nope.
Reicther and John stare each other down for a long
moment. Suddenly Reicther leaps across the table and
starts to bring John down to the ground. The students
around them all start to chant "Fight! Fight! fight!"
INT. HALLWAY (OUTSIDE OF AUDITORIUM) - LATER
Will is walking towards the doors when Ellen walks up
next to him.
ELLEN
So, are you going to tell me what
happened yet?
WILL
No, I don't think so. I think this
will be something I take with me to
my grave.
ELLEN
Come on don't be silly!
She looks around for an example, we see Parker and
Ballard approaching.
ELLEN (CONT'D)
Its not like you walked in on Mr.
Parker and Ms. Ballard doing it.
They are both in earshot to hear this. They both look
stunned. They both leave in different directions. James
Kelly suddenly approaches and walks by Will and Ellen.
JAMES
Hey Will! Did you remember what I
taught you?
WILL
Yeah James...I don't think I can
ever forget.
James enters the auditorium.
ELLEN
What was that all about? What did
he teach you?
WILL
I don't want to talk about.
ELLEN
Come on Will you can tell me.
Confiding in someone is always good.
It's always good to have a shoulder
to cry on.
WILL
Well...
ELLEN
Come on, I won't make fun of you or
anything.
WILL
I'll tell you...
Will whispers into Ellen's ear.
ELLEN
(laughing hysterically)
James taught you how to fold while
he was naked!
Everyone stops talking and they all look at Will with an
expression of horror on their face. This makes Ellen
laugh even more.
BRIAN (O.S.)
Will!
Brian and Casey run up to Will. Parker and Ballard use
this time to slink away.
WILL
Brian!
CASEY
Will!
WILL
Casey!
ELLEN
Who's Casey?
CASEY
I'm Casey.
WILL
Brian?
BRIAN
Will?
WILL
Why did you come running up to me
like that?
CASEY
Reicther is in a fight?
Brian hits Casey.
BRIAN
He asked me!
WILL
Reicther's in a fight!?
ELLEN
Who's Reicther?
CASEY
He's a skinny dark haired kid,
looks like a stick.
ELLEN
Oh you mean Patrick?
BRIAN
Who's Patrick?
ELLEN
Reicther is Patrick.
CASEY
Reicther isn't Patrick!
BRIAN
Yeah Reicther is Reicther!
WILL
What is Reicther’s first name...
CASEY
It's...Brian what's his first name?
BRIAN
I don’t know.
ELLEN
It's Patrick!
BRIAN
It is NOT Patrick!
CASEY
You don't know what it is, maybe it
is Patrick.
BRIAN
Damnit! I would remember if my
friend’s name was Patrick!
ELLEN
That's not true; you don’t remember
his name now!
BRIAN
Shut up!
ELLEN
You shut up bitch!
BRIAN
Whore!
ELLEN
Slut!
WILL
Girls, girls your both pretty! Now
what's this about Reicther being in
a fight?
ELLEN
Patrick's in a fight?
BRIAN
His name is not Patrick!
CASEY
Reicther is in a fight!
WILL
Yes Casey I got that part, why is
he in a fight!?
Beat.
CASEY
I dunno, Brian?
BRIAN
I'm not quite sure myself.
WILL
Should we go find out?
Beat.
CASEY
Nah these things have a way of
working themselves out. Lets go get
a slurpy.
BRIAN
I am down with the slurpy idea.
Casey and Brian start to walk off.
BRIAN
Coming Will?
WILL
No, I got play rehearsals.
CASEY
Suit yourself.
Brian and Casey leave.
ELLEN
Those are your friends?
WILL
Yes...Sadly they are.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
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