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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Five "All Your Friends Are Doing It" Written by Bruce Snyder Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga STORY EDITOR Melinda Waterman CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. GUEST CAST LIST Kirk McNeil................................. Rene David.................................. John........................................ Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER: INT. BROCK'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY TEASER: INT. HALLWAY MORNING Will is at the coke machine. Trying to get his dollar to go in. Casey is has back against the machine next to Will's. WILL Damn it, I hate this machine. This time the machine accepts the dollar. Will starts to press the button. Nothing happens. WILL Hey! Hey, nothing's coming out! Will kicks the machine and then frantically presses the button. WILL I think the damn thing ate my dollar! He kicks a couple more times and continues to frantically push the button. Calmly, Casey walks over. He pushes another button. This time it works. CASEY It was out of that kind. Casey walks away, leaving Will by himself. WILL Oh. OPENING CREDITS: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar." INT. HALLWAY - LATER Will and Casey are walking down the hallway. WILL How does your mom handle it? CASEY Well, she basically tries to put it in the back of her mind. KIRK MCNEIL quickly runs up and grabs Will's shoulder. WILL (in surprise) OH JESUS! Will and Casey turn to see Kirk. WILL Holy fucking shit, Kirk. Kirk seems to be lay back and sedated. KIRK Hiya, Will. WILL Hello, Kirk. KIRK How are...(thinks)...things? WILL Oh things? Um...things are good. KIRK Well that how things should always be...good. WILL Yep. KIRK Hey, Will. I've got a question. WILL What? KIRK Would you ever try acid? WILL No. KIRK Oh. WILL Why do you ask? KIRK Oh, just wondering. Pause. KIRK You know that Jim Morrison took acid? WILL Yeah...and now he's dead. KIRK So. WILL Well, call me old fashion but drugs are bad. KIRK But they expand your mind. WILL That may be true, but - KIRK (interrupting) It's very good experience. WILL Really now? KIRK Yeah. WILL Well I'll try to remember that, Kirk. KIRK I would do acid. WILL I bet you already have. The minute bell rings. WILL We've got to be going, Kirk. See you around. Will and Casey begin to walk away. Kirk stays and waves. KIRK Bye, Will. Will and Casey continue to walk down the hall. CASEY Who the hell was that? WILL That was Kirk McNeil. CASEY Is he related to Keri? WILL They're brother and sister. CASEY What was that whole deal about acid? WILL Well, Kirk has one major flaw. INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY A LITTLE LATER Reicther and Joel are sitting at a table. He is reading a book. Across from him sits Kirk. He is staring at the wall, not moving. Reicther takes notice. REICTHER (whispering) Hey, Joel. JOEL (whispering) Yeah. REICTHER (whispering) I think this guy is a vegetable. They both look over at Kirk, is still not doing anything but staring up. Joel lets out a small laugh. JOEL (whispering) I don't think he's vegetable. Just... Joel begins to think. JOEL (whispering) ...sedated. INT. GEOGRAPHY CLASS SAME MR. ZIMMER is at in the front of the room, talking to the class. ZIMMER Now, in this simulation you and a group of three others will become leaders of a fictional country. Your goal is to solve as many of the countries problems as listed on this paper I hand out. Brief pause. ZIMMER Let's get to work. Zimmer walks to his desk. The class then begins to organize themselves into groups. IN THE BACK CORNER - Brock has pulled his desk into the corner of the room. Brian then pulls his desk into the corner. BRIAN How many more people do we need? BROCK Two more. Brian quickly looks around, and spots someone. BRIAN Casey, get your sagging ass over here! Casey pulls his desk up to the two of them. CASEY My ass isn't sagging that bad, is it? BROCK We still need one more. JOHN TORREZ walks over. JOHN Do you guys mind if I join your group? BRIAN Guess not. John smiles. He grabs a chair pulls it up to the group. INT. MATH CLASS SAME Will and Rene sit at their table, both are laughing at something. WILL So I figure that maybe he'll stop hitting me now. But oh, no. He keeps going. Before he swings, and misses. RENE Wait, if he missed, wouldn't that be a good thing? WILL Normally it would. But when I ducked from his punch and tripped backwards and landed on Kevin's stereo. Rene explodes with laughter. WILL I pulled my shoulder and couldn't move it the rest of the day. She continues to laugh uncontrollably. RENE I'm sorry, Will. WILL It's okay. I'm starting to think that God put me on this planet for other people's amusement. RENE Is your life really that bad or are just making this stuff up? Will points to a spot on his cheek. WILL See that small scar? RENE Yeah? WILL I got that when I was six years old. You know how? RENE How? Will smiles a bit. WILL Me and my little brother were playing superheroes. I was Superman and he was Batman. And he decided to see how invincible I was to broken sticks. Rene begins to laugh, but covers her mouth to cover it up. WILL Now you tell me...do you think anyone in their right mind could come up with something like that? RENE No. The two begin to laugh at it. INT. LIBRARY SAME Joel is reading, while Reicther is now flicking little balls of paper at the sedated Kirk. Joel looks over. JOEL What the hell are you doing? REICTHER Trying to bring this guy back into the real world. Reicther flicks one that hits Kirk right the middle of his head. Kirk doesn't flinch. REICTHER This guy won't move. Reicther takes a little ball and shoots again. This time it hits Kirk in the eye. Kirk immediately sits up. Reicther jumps in surprise. Kirk looks around, unsure where he is. He notices Joel and Reicther. KIRK Hi. INT. GEOGRAPHY CLASS SAME Brian, Brock, Casey, and John sit in a circle working on their project. Casey reads from a paper. CASEY It says here we need to find some of getting money to build certain things. It says we can do anything to get the money. BRIAN Anything, huh? The four begin to think. BRIAN I say we start trafficking drugs. BROCK My vote goes for prostitution. JOHN Youre both wrong. We should start child labor. CASEY What about the Mafia? They're always good for something. BRIAN I think we should with everyone's plan except for John's. JOHN What? What's wrong with my plan? BROCK Well, it's a tad bit...evil. JOHN My plan is evil? BRIAN Yeah it is. You shouldn't make children work. JOHN You're idea is to sell and buy drugs. BRIAN Yeah, but it involves responsible adults. Not kids. BROCK Yeah. Same goes for my plan. I mean, how is a kid going to pay all that money to be with a prostitute? CASEY And how is a kid going to shot someone like the mafia? John gives up arguing. He sighs. INT. MATH CLASS SAME Will and Rene are still sitting at their table. This time they seem hard at work. WILL I give up. No way I'm getting this done in time. RENE C'mon, Will. There's still time. WILL Let me see your answer for number twelve. RENE Okay. Just give me a sec. WILL Don't worry. Don't move. Will grabs her hand and lifts it up to see the paper. He reads the answer. While he reads, he still holds on to her hand. After a few seconds of holding, Rene looks over at Will. Realizing that he's hold her hand for a good few seconds. Will looks over at Rene, and sees that she notice. But oddly enough...they don't let go. VOICE (O.S.) All right, clear your desks everyone. They quickly let go and begin to clear the table off. INT. LIBRARY SAME Joel and Reicther try to read, but seem a little uncomfortable with Kirk staring at them. Pause. KIRK Do you guys get high? Pause. JOEL Um...no. Pause. KIRK Do you wanna get high? REICTHER What for? KIRK For the mind blowing experience it provides. REICTHER Oh. KIRK You know, I get high. REICTHER Why? KIRK Because I wanna be just like Jim Morrison. JOEL But he died of a drug overdose. KIRK So? REICTHER Man, you're an idiot. INT. GEOGRAPHY SAME Brian, Brock, Casey, and John are hard at work. CASEY Okay, the paper says that the next problem the country has is that constantly fighting among the townspeople. How do you plan to solve this? The group thinks. JOHN What if we have a lock in? BRIAN A what? JOHN We lock all the people into room for one night. And over the course of the night the learn to like each other. It worked on South Park. BRIAN See, there's a problem with that. You stole the idea. JOHN Sorry. BROCK You got to figure, someone is bound to kill someone else if that did happen. The bell rings. Everyone slowly gets up and walks away. INT. LIBRARY SAME Joel and Reicther are getting up to leave. Kirk remains seated. KIRK Remember, if you guys do want to get high, you know where to find me. REICTHER (to himself) Probably passed out in the bathroom. Joel laughs. INT. LUNCHROOM MINUTES LATER Will, Brian, Joel, Brock, Reicther, and Casey are all sitting around the table. They are all eating and talking. REICTHER There is too. BROCK No. The Millennium Falcon didn't have rocket boosters. WILL Yes they did. BROCK Never did I see rocket boosters on that thing. REICTHER What about the white thing on the very back of it? Brock is about to say something but stops. BROCK Damn it! Everyone laughs about this. CASEY Hey, the line just broke free. Joel, Casey, Brock, and Reicther get up and leave. BRIAN I know I sound like a broken record player, but have you heard from Cathy yet? WILL No. I'm sorry, Brian. BRIAN It's okay. It's just the fucking anticipation that's killing me. Will nods and then looks off camera. BRIAN Sorry, I know I must be wasting your time with my love problems. WILL Well, like I say a friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else. Will then spots someone from far away. BRIAN I know I must hurting your love life as well. WILL (while looking at offcamera person) Don't worry, Brian. Right now, I have no love life. We see for the first time that he is looking at Rene from a far. She notices him. She smiles and waves. Will waves back. WILL (smiling) But you never know when something might come up. Brian, not noticing that Will is looking off camera, nods in agreement. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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