Initiation by Pia Cook

A car, a man and a girl. And a life-ending threat if you don’t… drive!

Imagine this scenario: You’re a black man who just accepted a promotion; about to “pop the question” to your lady. Which is when a 14 year old white girl hops in your car, and starts barking orders. She’s going to scream rape if you don’t…. drive!

How can a guy get out of a situation this grave? How can one fight back, yet emerge unscathed?

Reminiscent of 1997’s The Game (Michael Douglas and Sean Penn), Pia Cook’s Initiation takes us on a nail biting car ride; one which has no brakes.

Nico’s the captive driver. And Amara? The out-of-control teen calling the shots.

When we first meet Nico, life seems to be going his way. There’s that promotion he’s worked his tail off for. He’s on the phone with his girlfriend – sharing the news, and planning the evening’s festivities. On his celebration short list: roses, chocolates, wine.. and a shiny engagement ring. In fact, Nico’s just bought condoms. Tonight’s going to be perfect. He thinks.

But that’s when skinny blonde Amara hops in: issuing orders and threatening Nico instantly.

Fearing for his livelihood, a terrified Nico complies. As he steers the car, Amara tears through his newly purchased gifts with abandon. Spilling wine, eating chocolates. Throwing condoms around the car. Nico’s so cowed by Amara’s random threats that he’s willing to do every little thing he’s told.

Things get particularly tense when the cops pull them over. Amara insists Nico follow her lead. He’s got to trust her, and keep his mouth shut. If so, she’ll get him out of trouble. Maybe.

What’s the game Amara’s playing? And whatever it is, will Nico survive?

A perfect short thriller, Initiation’s got all the ingredients you need: a fast paced script with a simple setup – one that delivers tons of conflict, emotional range and a spectacular twist. Despite featuring only two actors, there’s tons of meat to dig into here. Just imagine – the dramatic timing of The Game, with the intensity of Speed. Speaking of which: speed up and grab this one – before some other lucky Director wins the race!

Budget: Pretty low. Make sure your actors have perfect timing and chemistry!

About the writer: Born and raised in Sweden, Pia Cook is director of the short film Them That’s Dead and writer of produced feature films Finders Keepers: The Root of All Evil and Blackout. She started writing screenplays in 2006 and has written over sixty short screenplays and ten features. She can be reached at gatortales – “AT” – gmail.

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About the reviewer: Rachel Kate Miller is a veteran of the feature animation industry, having worked on several Oscar winning films, bringing stories to life. In 2012, she left animation to move to Chicago and run the design department for President Obama’s reelection campaign. She is now living in New York, writing, consulting on various projects and creating an educational animated series for elementary students focused on engaging kids in science. She is now heavily engaged in her new project, being a Mom.

Damn Your Eyes (9 pages in pds format) by Steve Miles

A scopophobic recluse finds his quest for answers takes him closer to the truth than he ever expected…

Damn Your Eyes is a quirky tale about Brookes, a young man living under the constant scrutiny of neighbors. Brookes is onto them. He watches them right back. One day he realizes that it’s not about the neighbors watching him, but another unknown force that sees everything and everyone around him.

Characters – 1 main, 2 extras
Location – 1 – house
Prop – telescope

About the writer: Steve Miles is an award-winning writer who can be reached at stevemiles80 (a) yahoo.co.uk. Please check out his wonderful works here: SJMilesScripts.webs.com.

This is an October 2017 One Week Challenge is a short. The OWC is a screenwriting exercise wherein writers are given a week to write a short script on the theme and genre provided. These are quickly done and may be a little rough around the edges considering the short time frame in which they are written.

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Khamanna Iskandarova has several features completed, as well as a dozen shorts, some of which were produced by independent producers. Khamanna can be reached at khamanna “AT” hotmail. Check out her IMDB Creds

Close to Sunset (16 pages in pdf format) Steven Clark In Production

After the death of his mother, a middle-aged man learns the horrifying truth about the childhood disappearance of his brother.

Production Stills

Script Review

Home movie footage has a way of evoking emotion. A grainy, colour faded moment captured in time. This is how Beyond Sunset starts: young brothers, Jack and Sam, fool for the camera. A fleeting memory of lost childhood.

Shadows grow over a public playground. A car prowls along an adjacent road. The boys play, each lost in a world of blissful innocence. Moments later Jack looks up to find his brother gone. He squints into the setting sun, just in time to catch Sam wave goodbye before he slips into the car and vanishes forever.

Jump forward several decades. Jack, now in his 50s and with a family of his own. It’s been a rough week for Jack. Mom’s dead. Her estate needs to be settled which leaves Jack and younger sister, Trisha, to clear the old family home for sale.

It’s a task fraught with emotion. The sting of memory carried with every trinket and family photograph. There’s that yellow dress of Mom’s or the grave of Houdini, beloved house-cat who was never fully tamed. 

As Jack delves deeper into the shadows of Mom’s life secrets begin to reveal themselves. Old wounds are opened and tensions rise, until finally Jack stumbles upon the darkest recess of them all…

Steven Clark’s haunting thriller Beyond Sunset lights a fuse that burns its way to the very end. It’s a tense, brooding mystery, delivered with a subtlety that begs to be picked up.  Any filmmaker looking for a low budget nuanced thriller would be remiss not to check this script out immediately.

About the writer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at Steamroller138 (a) gmail.

About the reviewer: Steve Miles started writing scripts around five years ago after realizing that his social life was vastly overrated. He enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit – from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount of plaid and uses a calculator for the most basic of sums. Check out more of his work at sjmilesscripts.webs.com

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Mile 42 by John Dowgin

When an extreme distance runner encounters a human trafficking ring during a desert ultramarathon, he must battle both exhaustion and criminals to save innocent lives – and himself.

 Sometimes, a story grabs you. Instantly. Takes command of your senses and doesn’t let go. Maybe it’s the opening action. Perhaps a telling line of dialogue. With Mile 42, it’s the clear and intense imagery that sucks you into the script. A tale solidly set in New Mexico: baking heat, jagged outcrops of rock, parched tarmac shimmers in the sun. NM’s not a state I’ve visited. But now I can say I’ve “seen” it – at least, through this script.

…and the eyes of Jose. The protagonist of the story, Jose’s a competitive long distance runner of the ultra-extreme kind. When we meet him, he’s hitting Mile 42. His base camp support, Cynthia, chatters via bluetooth in his ear, quoting lines from movies. Jose spits titles back at her; it’s a game that keeps his mind focused, even if his physical energy’s on low reserve. But Jose’s determined to soldier on. Miles ahead of him (out of sight) is Timson. His running nemesis and competitor.

Soon, a reception dead spot cuts off Jose’s connection to Cynthia. And he catches up to Timson.

Bullet ridden and dead in the road…

A shot rings out. A bullet tears through Jose’s sleeve. Someone’s shooting at him! The runner darts for shelter – summoning what meager energy he has left.

Scaling a rock, Jose spots his would-be shooter… And uncovers a whole truck of trouble, far beyond the normal concerns of marathons. Corrupt border guards have intercepted a group of illegal immigrants, and plan to hijack them for a slavery ring. Jose’s run smack dab into hell. Stranded in the desert. Alone – and being chased – by a sadistic group of criminals determined to wipe all witnesses from the earth.

Faced with a series of unexpected challenges, Jose battles the odds and desert heat. But can he overcome his own frailties in time to save himself and the others? Or will he end up like poor, dead Timson?

Excellently paced, Mile 42 moves swiftly towards the finish line – a top notch action thriller, with a vibrantly real protagonist. It’s an action short that’ll leave you (and your audience) breathless. Cheering for the hero all the way.

Budget: Given the action scenes and extras, this one’s not meant for a newbie. But a skilled indie director looking to put a shining gem on his resume? That would be a perfect fit!

About the writer: John P. Dowgin is a playwright, screenwriter, director and actor, as well as a founding member of the production company The Porch Room (PorchRoom.com) for whom he directed the original work ‘Antony & Cleopatra: Infinite Lives” at the 2013 New York International Fringe Festival. Two of John’s plays have been published in the compilation “Accidents Happen” by Samuel French, and have been performed in New York, Los Angeles, Indianapolis, Toronto, Dublin, and Australia. A number of his screenplays are also in ‘development’, which he suspects to be a theoretical dimension like Oz. He lives in New Jersey with his wife and son.

About the reviewer: Anthony Cawood is an aspiring screenwriter from the UK with a number of scripts in various stages of production, two of which have just wrapped shooting. His script, A Certain Romance, recently won in the Nashville Film Festival Screenwriting Competition (short script category). You can find out more at AnthonyCawood.co.uk.

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Beacon Calling (11 pages in PDF format) by Chris Keaton

How far would you go to save humanity?

Ping.

Three world-worn wanderers walk wearily through a white winter wasteland. They are John, Noah, and Wilda, and their only guide is the small metal box with the flashing red light.

Ping.

Driven on by the incoming signal, our three explorers are obviously on an important and dangerous mission. Pausing briefly to appraise their situation, they discuss turning back. They are, after all, running low on supplies, and out there, somewhere in the darkness..someTHING is stalking them. Beaten both emotionally and physically, the three realize that there is no decision to be made: if they fail their mission, they’re all dead anyway.

Ping. Ping.

The signal is getting closer…but so is the creature! The group presses on, into the unknown. Where are they heading, and just what have they left behind? And WHAT is this creature!!

Are you getting a sense of the tension in this script? I hope so, because you may want to pop a Xanax before reading. Sled tracks, bloody footprints in the snow, a discarded iPod. The mystery deepens with each visceral image. And if it sounds like I’m being vague, don’t worry, it’s only because I don’t want to spoil the surprise ending.

Get ready for an eleven-minute panic attack, because Beacon Calling is a master class in suspense writing. A slow-build tense thriller filled with all the mystery and intensity of the best episodes of Lost, set in a Mad-Max-in-the-snow style wasteland (take note, George Miller!). This is one script guaranteed to keep your audience on edge, and keep them guessing until the shocking finale. They won’t know what hit them. Directors, come in from the cold and grow something sinister out of this script.

Ping. Ping. Ping!!!

Budget: Low. Location may be tricky, since it is set in snow. But as long as your production doesn’t go all Revenant on you, costs are reasonable. (Plus, there IS a desert version of this available as well…!)

About the writer: Chris Keaton is an Air Force veteran living with his family in sunny Arizona. He’s primarily a screenwriter, but he does love diving into prose. He has had several short screenplays produced and go on to win awards. He’s optioned a few features screenplays and currently has a thriller feature in post-production. A young-adult novel based on one of his screenplays is soon to be released. You can see some of his projects on his website, Chris-Keaton.com or follow him on Facebook at Facebook.com/ChrisKeaton.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple: put the coffee down, coffee is for closers. He is currently working on that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (a) live.com

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Good (6 pages in pdf format) by Erich Von Heeder

An ex-convict priest attempts to save a neighborhood.

Colm MacKenna is a priest. A man of God. And a complex protagonist. He’s tough – streetwise. And he’s done jail time. Given that, is he good? Colm himself speaks that that issue. “The moment you pretend to be good… in that moment, you are good.” But does the father practice as he preaches…?

Erich Von Heeder’s dark morality tale would seem to indicate otherwise.

The opening pages of Good puts Colm to the test. And his motives in question. Sneaking through a dark alleyway, Colm is assaulted by two thugs…. Targeting his duffel bag. A violent struggle ensues, leaving Colm bloody but victorious. And the thugs in need of hospital care. A quick glimpse into the bag deepens the mystery. It’s filled to the brim with money. Lots and lots of money.

Shortly thereafter, Colm pays a visit to Father O’Callahan – pastor of the local Catholic church. And it’s far from a friendly Sunday visit: closer to a syndicate shakedown. Accusations fly between the two men of the cloth: refusing to hear Colm’s confession, O’Callahan calls him a false prophet. A fake. He threatens a hostile takeover of Colm’s tiny ministry – and brings his funding into question. Money may be the root of evil, but it has to come from somewhere.

Needless to say, the meeting doesn’t end well. Colm storms out – threatening judgement on Callahan. He retreats to a secret basement, and sets to work on… something. What he’s up to isn’t clear. Then again, O’Callahan’s no saint, either.

Gripping and fluidly written, Good is a hybrid tale of the best kind. A noir thriller that doesn’t let go – yet still has something to say. Directors are urged to grab this one while they can. And pray you don’t arrive too late…

Budget: Low – Medium. One fight scene, and a handful of locations. As with so many quality shorts, acting and cinematography will make or break this one!

About the writer: Residing in Seattle, Washington, Erich Von Heeder can be reached at erich_vonheeder (a) yahoo

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula “AT” comcast.net

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Truth or Dare (8 pages in pdf format) by P.H. Cook

We all have our secrets.

A night of babysitting can be a trying feat under normal circumstances. But what if the child you are sitting is a mix between Damien from The Omen and that kid from Looper?

As a favor to a coworker, married couple Brynn and Mike Carter are looking after young Jayden for the weekend. It’s nothing they can’t get through with a little pizza and a lot of wine. At first, Jayden seems perfectly content to play his uber-violent video games, until BZZZZ, ZAP, the power goes out. To pass the time without electricity, Brynn suggests a game of truth or dare. Little does she know, truth is sometimes a thing best kept secret.

Things start off normal enough, embarrassing dancing, movie impersonations, etc. But then, Jayden starts to ask some questions that are… difficult. He seems to have a preternatural ability to probe the weak spots of Brynn and Mike’s relationship. Like a young Hannibal Lector, Jayden knows just what to ask in order to manipulate and intimidate. Will Brynn and Mike’s relationship survive the weekend? Will any of them survive the night? From here, it’s a slow burn to an unforgettable finale. Give away the surprise ending? I wouldn’t dare!

The best payoffs in psychological horror scripts arise organically out of well-plotted circumstances. The illustrious, enduring finales of The Exorcist, Psycho, and of course Silence of the Lambs, are all made possible through their impeccably-structured first acts. So it is with Truth or Dare, which, in a few short pages establishes a situation that is at once high-concept and highly relatable. All of this builds to an ending that is both inevitable and completely surprising. It’s a rare feat and an absolute stunner of a screenplay that will unquestionably electrify the festival circuit.

I dare you to make this picture, because truthfully, the script is phenomenal!

Budget: Low. One room, three actors, and a pizza.

About the writer: Born and raised in Sweden, P.H. Cook is the director of the short film Them That’s Dead and writer of produced feature films Finders Keepers: The Root of All Evil and Blackout. She started writing screenplays in 2006 and has written over sixty short screenplays and ten features. She can be reached at gatortales (a) gmail.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple has one hand in his pocket, and the other hand is playing a piano. He is currently working on that screenplay everyone keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (AT) live.com

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Dry Days (8 pages in pdf format) by Mitch Smith

In a dystopian society where water has all but vanished, two deserters find a mysterious corpse that appears to have died from drowning.

Manhunt movies. A thrilling genre, to say the least. Heart pounding action at its best.

North by Northwest. The Fugitive. Silence of the Lambs. We keep watching – no matter how far into the nightmare dark they lead us. Why? Well, in part to see the hero win the day. But also because the best of such films contain some sort of mystery, which drives us to never turn our eyes away (at least until the secrets are revealed.)

Following in the footsteps of such cinematic greats is Dry Days. Written by talented scribe Mitch Smith, the script packs a mean action punch. And also asks the thematic question: “Can you have too much of a good thing?” – in a clever and entertaining way.

Set in a future where food and water are in desperately short supply, the story opens with our hero and heroine dragging themselves across the blazing hot desert. Being hunted by someone. Or something.

Exhausted and dehydrated, our fleeing couple are almost at death’s door. They encounter the corpse of a man lying half buried in the sand – a grim reminder to their pending fate. They’re on the verge of giving up… when our heroine – a former nurse – realizes the dead man drowned!

She deduces there must be water nearby. But how could someone drown in the desert?!

Hopes renewed, the two begin searching for water. Their quest is cut short by the arrival of Raze, a bone-thin deserter-hunter – with wild eyes and a loaded gun.

The dry blood around his mouth and ravenous look leaves us little doubt about his intentions.

Will our couple live to see another day? Or will survival of the fittest reign?

If you’re a director looking for the next Mad Max, then give Dry Days a spin. It’s easy to shoot, and action packed – with a fresh twist on the usual dystopian fare!

Budget: Fairly low. A sunny beach for the desert and a hallway made to look like a hospital. Throw in a handful of actors, a dune buggy and that’s pretty much it!

About the writer: Mitch Smith is an award winning screenwriter whose website offers notes, script editing and phone consultations. You can also reach him at Mitch.SmithScripts (a) gmail and follow Mitch on twitter @MitchScripts.

About the reviewer: Gary Rowlands cut his teeth writing sketch comedy and was a commissioned writer on the hugely popular Spitting Image broadcast on national television in the UK. He has since branched out into writing features and is actively seeking representation. He can be contacted at gazrow at hotmail dot com.

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STS is thrilled to announce John Cowdell’s thriller short, Seven Hours, has now officially been sold! The prize goes to 10AM Productions, and we have no doubt we’ll be seeing a wonderful finished product for the festivals soon…!

Needless to say, we’ve got several more Cowdell scripts in the queue… In the meantime, consider shooting John an email now (ommi80 “AT” yahoo.co.uk), and see what else he’s got in store!

About the writer: John Cowdell has been writing and making short films for over ten years as well as creating videos for the internet. During his time at college, where he studied Media Production, he made his first short film with a fellow student. The short film “City Road” reached the finals of a competition in 2000 and was shown at a local cinema. Most recently, John has been reviewing films and producing video content for Squabblebox.co.uk. His main passion is filmmaking and he hopes to write and direct feature films in the near future. Feel free to drop him a line at iommi80 “AT” yahoo.co.uk!