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Monday, December 11, 2023

The Gambler – Available for production* - post author Paul Knauer

THE GAMBLER
(5-page short drama)
by Gary Howell

A man diagnosed with a terminal illness makes a drastic choice.

What would you do if you discovered you only had a couple of weeks to live? The Gambler by Gary Howell asks its main character just that question as 35-year-old Joe Ferguson receives the news that nobody wants to hear:

       DR. WILLISTON
The cancer you have is almost
undetectable until it’s too late.

Would your answer change if you lived just minutes from the famed Las Vegas Strip—if you could literally see it from your kitchen window? That’s the entirety of the setup that Howell creates for The Gambler. A lonely, obviously risk-averse man faces a terminal illness in a city known for taking big shots.

How do we know that Joe is risk-averse? Howell deftly sets things up with several simple clues: He describes Joe’s Las Vegas home as “threadbare, sparsely decorated.” Big-spender Joe eats a bowl of cereal for dinner, sorting through a steady parade of bills. And, we soon find out, Joe is sitting on a pile of cash. Add it all up: Joe is a saver, reluctant even to spend his money on his own bills.

That’s the heart of The Gambler, as we watch one piece of information—imminent death—transform someone into a completely new person. The Saver instantly becomes The Gambler.

What’s particularly interesting, though, is how Howell sets up Joe’s mindset for the big moment through a simple exchange with a friend.

       JOE
What am I going to do, go to Paris?
I’ll be in hospice before you know it,
and that’ll be fully covered by my
medical insurance.

       BUCK
And if you win?

Joe finally stops, faces Buck.

       JOE
This is Vegas, Buck. Nobody wins
in Vegas except the house.

Joe knows he’s going to lose. So, why does he want to risk all of his money on one round of blackjack? Is it truly only that he has nothing to lose? Maybe. It’s open for interpretation, but I see the moment as Joe saying to death: “You can’t take everything from me if I take it from me first.” Whatever his motivation, he’s plowing straight ahead. 

Soon, he’s sitting at the table.

       DEALER
Cards coming out.

The first card comes to Joe face down, then the dealer deals himself a card down.

The next card to Joe comes face up. An eight. Joe frowns, but not nearly as hard as he does when the dealer’s next card comes up — an ace.

       BUCK
Shit.

Joe flips his under card over. It’s another eight.

       DEALER
Sixteen.

       JOE
Welp. Maybe this wasn’t such a
good idea after all.

He drums his fingers on the table. After what seems like an eternity considering it:

It’s the moment Howell has been setting up from page one: the choice. How far will Joe take this? Well, I’m not going to leave you hanging. Yet.

       JOE
Hit me.

The dealer takes the next card, flips it over and slides it in front of Joe.

Joe sucks in what seems like all the oxygen in the room. It’s a three.

       DEALER
Nineteen.

Joe waves his hand over the cards. Gets up from his chair and as the dealer flips over his hole card, we– 

SMASH CUT TO: 

EXT. BELLAGIO HOTEL – AFTERNOON 

Now I’m going to leave you hanging! But, don’t fret, it could be worse. I’ll let Howell explain: “I had toyed with the idea of a ‘Sopranos’ type ending where you think you know what happened, but aren’t necessarily sure because it would cut to black after Joe steps out of the casino. In giving it more consideration, I thought that in a 5-page script like this one, the reader (and ultimately, the viewer of the film) really wants to have a resolution, and I think the way it ended tied things up, but also allows the reader to imagine what happens with the character afterward.”

Of course, I’m going to make you read the script itself to know what Howell decided. Anything else wouldn’t be as fun. And, in the end, that’s what Howell’s script is: fun. Yes, it’s a drama. Yes, there are heavy themes. But, anybody familiar with Howell’s previous work knows, he writes from the heart, and with a certain, very personal, style. He’s not afraid to write about tragedy or personal heartbreak, but when he does, there’s always another layer. Howell explained. “Being who I am, I’ve always tried to find some sort of positivity and humor in all situations and will try to inject that into my scripts.” The Gambler has that extra layer. It’s well worth the read and definitely worthy of production.

Production Notes: At first glance, the production challenges look daunting for a short: Las Vegas, Bellagio, the fountains…unless you’re looking for an excuse to write off a trip to Vegas, it might seem too much. Howell wants you to look closer, “I think this can actually be filmed using a lot of stock footage of Vegas—it doesn’t have to be big budget. At its heart, this is a character-driven story and can be shot in a minimalistic way.” 

Locations: A doctor’s office, a sparse residence, Las Vegas strip, Bellagio exterior and interior.

**The Gambler by Gary Howell received the Writer’s Choice Award in SimplyScripts’ September ’23 One Week Challenge.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: Gary Howell is a native Texan, yet still doesn’t own a cowboy hat. He practiced law for 17 years before finally scratching a life-long itch and started writing short and feature films. He’s had four of his short films produced, one feature optioned and has worked with producer Matthew George (“LBJ”, “Wind River”). Coverfly featured his TV pilot “Bounty” in a recent live virtual table read.

About the Reviewer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE, and US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada, and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

Find more scripts available for production

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Tears In Heaven by Matthew Taylor – Available for production* - post author Paul Knauer

TEARS IN HEAVEN
6 page short drama in pdf format
by Matthew Taylor

Sometimes anguish is too much to bear.

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven? Fans of Eric Clapton certainly recognize the iconic, haunting lines from his hit song Tears In Heaven. Lines that also serve as the inspiration for Matthew Taylor’s emotional short, dealing with the same issue that led Clapton to write the original: a father’s lament at the loss of his son. “I want their heartstrings tugged so hard that their eyes leak. But most of all I want the audience to relate to it,” said Taylor. “I don’t think there are many people on the planet who haven’t lost someone close to them and battled with thoughts of an afterlife, so I’m hoping everyone can connect with it in some way.”

Written as part of SimplyScript’s One Week Challenge series, themed around an inspirational song, Tears In Heaven, the short, uses only 6 pages to weave a deeply moving tale of grief. Despite the challenge-limited page count, Taylor takes his time with the setup, establishing an otherworldly tone from the start as a character simply named KEEPER, dressed in white, guards a village hall:

Like a statue, Keeper watches the horizon until something grabs his attention, he leans forward for a better look at…

RICHARD (27) dashing towards him in a black suit and tie.

Richard nears the hall when Keeper glides preternaturally towards him and blocks his path.

                  KEEPER
             How did you get here?

Richard quickly changes course and walks around him, heads for the hall—

–Keeper appears in front of him again. Richard stops.

                  KEEPER
             You shouldn’t be here.

Richard wants inside the hall—NEEDS inside the hall—but Keeper has a job to do. 

                  KEEPER
             Forbidden.

Richard’s agony is evident, and Keeper not without heart.

                  KEEPER
             How did you get here?

Keeper looks down. A steady flow of blood trickles from under Richard’s sleeve, drips from his fingertips.

Keeper closes his eyes, pain etched on his face. He opens them, a tear trickles down his cheek.

He steps aside, gestures for Richard to go ahead.

Inside the hall, we discover the source of Richard’s pain, and how he’s forced to confront the reality: He can’t stay here, no matter his desire. The scenes and visuals that follow are powerful as Taylor expertly spins his story. “I didn’t want to write a script about the story that inspired the song, but wanted to convey the sorrow/torment (also acceptance) that lies in Clapton’s masterful lyrics. On a personal level, and I’m sure it is the same for most parents, but the thought of losing a child is my biggest fear, which is why the song hits so hard whenever I hear it, and I wanted to manifest that fear into the script.”

It’s not an overtly religious script, but Taylor explains that there are religious underpinnings. “I tried to include some biblical elements. Such as Richard’s black clothes in contrast to Keeper’s white (suffering, death, and sin Vs purity and forgiveness)” Taylor adds, “Isaiah 1:18 ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.’ was another contrast I liked, with the dripping blood against the Keeper’s white clothes to symbolize forgiveness.”

You’ll have to read the script to see how masterfully Taylor wraps the story, but a clue can be found in one more biblical reference. “The end was inspired by the verse: Psalm 30:11. ‘You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.’”

It’s a gut punch of an ending that will leave you smiling through tears.

Production Notes: Tears In Heaven is a challenging, yet, relatively modest short to produce, with a small cast, including several extras and one child actor, aged 4.

Locations: As described, the script opens outside a “Village Hall” situated in the middle of a vast field. The interior Village Hall shots intentionally don’t match the exteriors: a large child’s birthday party (generic enough for shooting simplicity.) The remaining location is a church interior, set up for a child’s funeral.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: Matthew Taylor is an amateur screenwriter trying to bring interesting stories and characters to the world. His focus is mainly on Sci-fi and fantastical stories, usually with some dark undertones. He has sold a few short scripts with a couple of productions and is now looking to move on to features and pilots.

About the Reviewer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE, and the US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada, and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

Friday, October 13, 2023

The Halloween One Week Challenge has begun! - post author Don

The Halloween One Week Challenge has begun


*photo credit PH Cook

Friday, September 29, 2023

On The Beach by Steven Clark – Available for production* - post author Don

ON THE BEACH
10 page short drama in pdf format
by Steven Clark

If only life was as simple as a day on the beach.

Tear-jerker stories hold a special place in the world of cinema, from current films such as Me Before You and The Fault In Our Stars, to classics such as Love Story and The Way We Were, their appeal is timeless and can be attributed to several factors that touch upon the depths of human emotion and pull at the heartstrings. On the Beach written by Steven Clark is a captivating and thought-provoking script that does just that; skillfully weaving together elements of drama and heartbreak. The story’s simplicity belies its emotional depth and compelling narrative, making it an engaging and memorable piece of work.

The script initially centers around two characters, Doug and Carolyn, who find themselves
preparing for the birth of their first child. The simple description of Carolyn painting the baby’s room opens the story. In the writer’s hands, this simple scene is transformed as we can almost hear the swish of the brush and smell the aroma of the paint as we are drawn into their world:


INT. HOUSE, BEDROOM – DAY
A paintbrush glides along the wall. Light blue is the color.
Then —
An empty crib that looks brand new. A dresser that still has a tag.
Downstroke of the brush in the hand of CAROLYN, 30, mother-to be, sweating, hair in her
eyes. But it can’t hide the glow on her face.

The entry of her husband, with his “find” of the perfect book for their new baby boy and his
dreams of reading it to him, complete the picture of joyous anticipation.

The script excels in its natural and heartfelt dialogue, allowing the characters’ emotions and
personalities to shine through. Doug and Carolyn feel like real people; their struggle to provide for their family while mired in more or less dead end jobs will resonate with the audience on a personal level, while the introduction of Doug’s illness is a seismic turning point. The remainder of the story is a telling of Doug’s gradual goodbye and the purposeful steps he takes to ensure that their son, Jeremy will remember the waning days he spent with his father.

Both Doug and Carolyn, as well as Jeremy, in his arc of age progression through childhood, are
well-crafted characters. The gradual unfolding of Doug’s illness and its effect on the family is woven seamlessly into the story, while his continued bedtime reading to Jeremy featuring an
astronaut shooting into outer space, serves as a segue to his son’s understanding that his father will soon be leaving.

The beach setting serves as a metaphorical stage, beautifully mirroring the ebb and flow of the characters’ emotions and the inevitable passage of time, while the vision of three chairs, “Two adult and one child” is a foretelling of the outcome.

No other cue is needed to summon the tears of the audience.

Despite its brevity, “On the Beach” manages to evoke a strong emotional response. The script
delves into themes of love, loss and the passage of time, offering a rich and resonant insight into how we may be called to face the unthinkable.

The script concludes on a poignant note, leaving the audience with a sense of melancholy closure. The ending feels fitting as it weaves the passing of one life and the beginning of another skillfully played upon the timelessness of the sea:

EXT. CALLOWAY BEACH – DAY
Bright Summer sun. Blankets and umbrellas everywhere.
Carolyn sits by the water’s edge, toes in the sand. The sun
feels good. She turns to see —
Jeremy sitting next to MAGGIE, 18 months, wearing a floppy
hat and a pink one-piece beach outfit.
Maggie picks up a sea shell, looks it over, then throws it.
On the beach are three unoccupied CHAIRS — two child-sized
and one for an adult.
The sound of a wave crashing onto shore.

Final Thoughts:
On the Beach is a remarkable short script that successfully captures the essence of human connection, nostalgia, and the complexities of life and death. With its well-crafted characters, poignant dialogue, and evocative setting, the script takes the viewer on an emotional journey that resonates deeply. It stands as a testament to the power of concise storytelling and will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression on any audience.

Credit to the writer for crafting such a touching and well-executed short script. On the Beach is a shining example of the potential that lies within the short film format and is deserving of recognition and praise. A small number of roles, few locations and budget-friendly scripting also serve to make this a very compelling project for those looking to produce a well-written and meaningful short film.

Read the script and talk about it on the discussion board.

About the Writer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at his website.

About the reviewer, K. Cranford: I am a published author with articles featured in nationally circulated magazines. I specialize in family friendly stories with an uplifting message and currently have five completed screenplays, three of which are Christmas themed, as well as several shorts that I am actively marketing. By education I am a Registered Nurse. My husband, a physician and I make our home in Little Rock, Arkansas.


Find more scripts available for production

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, September 18, 2023

September ’23 One week challenge – Who Wrote What and Writers’ Choice - post author Don

Over on the Original, Unproduced Scripts page the writers of the September One Week Challenge are revealed and the Writers’ Choice is announced.

– Don

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Dracul-Stein by Colin Sharp – Available for Prodution* - post author Don

Dracul-Stein
(10 page short horror/comedy)
by Colin Sharp

A bitter writer takes revenge on a man who he believes stole his creation.

Stolen property. Revenge. A hit man. Screenwriter Colin Sharp’s latest short has all the makings of a suspense-filled thriller. Only… well, that title: Dracul-Stein. It’s absurd, right? And, that’s just what Sharp delivers with this hilarious, most-definitely absurd comedy.

Sharp takes his time setting up his world—a world where perhaps the worst script in the history of movie-making has just taken the Oscar. How can this be? Everyone wants to know. (Sharp hints, but never answers the question—is it because of the writer’s strike?)

One problem: Mikey Lewis believes the script, HIS script, Dracul-Stein, was stolen—from the original idea down to FADE OUT, and he’s definitely NOT happy about it. He’s determined. The Oscar-winning thief, Billy Villin, needs to pay for his misdeed.

So, Mikey does what any angry screenwriter would do. He hires a hit man. (Well, maybe not ANY screenwriter.) It’s here that we meet Shivers—shady, smartly dressed, and, of course, Italian.

            MIKEY
Shivers?

Shivers nods.

            MIKEY (CONT’D)
Never really done anything like
this before.

            SHIVERS
Don’t give a shit, who’s the
target?

Shivers is the cliche hit man to the core. And, that’s the point. Sharp sets up the cliche and proceeds to mine it for comedy. How?

            MIKEY
Hold on, man… wondered if I can
add a stipulation to the proceedings?

            SHIVERS
Stipulations are expensive.

Yes. Stipulations. And, this stipulation is a doozy—one that’s responsible for a laugh-filled race to the finish: for Mikey to get full revenge, Shivers must complete the hit dressed as Dracul-Stein, the half-Dracula, half-Frankenstein character from the stolen script.

It’s here that Sharp’s script really takes off, with visuals that—well, I won’t spoil the finish, except to say, Sharp has you torn between laughter and empathy as poor Shivers, the most sympathetic hit man you’ll ever meet attempts to do the deed, in full costume, while reading provided lines, mere feet from Billy’s swimming pool.

Dracul-Stein is 10 pages of fun, the perfect project for a time when audiences are looking for an escape from a world seemingly on fire. It’s an easy shoot, relatively inexpensive, with a small cast, few locations and just enough small challenges to make it interesting. And, bonus, there’s simply no way you can’t have fun bringing poor Shivers to life.

Production Notes: Script includes light gunplay.

Locations: (residential interior, bar, street, exterior residential w/ pool, police interview room) could be shot as is, or minimized for simplified shooting.

Dream sequence includes audience shots (could be stock.)

Character costumes – easy to find or DIY.

Small cast. Additional Actor/Extras.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

*Dracul-Stein debuted as an entry in the August 2023 One Week Writer’s Challenge here on SimplyScripts.

About the Writer: Colin Sharp is an aspiring screenwriter whose lifelong love of film led him on to the road to writing his own stories. Whilst a fan of all genres of film, Colin primarily enjoys writing comedic tales but is also a sucker for romance and anything that will “scare the bejesus out of him.”

About the Reviewer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE and US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

Find more scripts available for production

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Silverfish by Tim Wolfe – Available for Production* - post author L. Chambers

SILVERFISH

A simple pest problem spirals out of control.

Burn After Reading, Intermission, In Bruge, Fargo, Very Bad Things, Go, American Beauty, and the list goes on… There’s one thing these movies all have in common and that is that their narratives all feature strong elements of tragedy and very dark comedy.

Combining gallows humour with just the right amount of laugh out loud comedy and having an audience buy the blend of both is no easy task. Scenes and taboo subject matter that makes us not know whether to laugh or cry or gasp in horror or cover our eyes can be hard to watch. Tim Wolfe’s Silverfish captures this essence of Black Comedy perfectly, with the addition of also having a very clever plot.

We open on an everyday situation and an everyday bloke. At least that’s what we first think. We are introduced to Blaine Babbitt, described as –

A ‘normal enough looking dude’ in his late thirties.

The thing is, what Blaine is about to do is far from normal –

… In Blaine’s living room a silverfish crawls along the wall.

A red dot appears on its back. Blaine tracks it for a few feet, then…

BLAM!

A puff of plaster bursts into the air.

I don’t know about you but when I’m faced with creepy-crawlies I usually reach for a fly-swatter or a can of bug-spray. Blaine however, has an entirely unique and extreme method of extermination which involves shooting that pesky silverfish with a 9mm pistol.  And if that weren’t enough first equipping said pistol with an infrared laser. Talk about overkill.

What Blaine’s about to discover next though will make your hair curl. Turns out he’s just blown a hole in the living room wall and the bullet has gone straight into the bedroom wall behind it.

Did I mention Blaine’s fifteen-year-old son is home?

Upon realising the potential gravity of the situation –

Blaine staggers to the first door on the left, slowly twists the knob and enters…

Holy shit. Whatever he just saw made his blood run cold.

Did I also mention that Blaine’s wife has chosen this exact time to call?

Oh, and that a neighbour has just turned up because he’s terrified he heard a gunshot?

It’s no spoiler to reveal these details by the way, because where this tale is going and the chain of events that little silverfish has set off, well, suffice to say this is only the tip of the iceberg. Blaine’s about to discover that if he thinks things are bad now, they’re only going to get a hell of a lot worse.

The mark of an exceptionally talented writer is in giving us the unexpected, in subverting our expectations, and in entertaining us thoroughly along the way. With its blend of horror, crime-thriller, tragedy, and comedy of errors, Silverfish is quite simply rollickingly good entertainment. Every time I thought, oh no, that won’t work, or I thought I knew where the story was headed the writer surprised me with something else. The twists and turns of the plot, the characters, the humour, the seamless dialogue – wow!

As a final selling point regarding its broad appeal, I’m going to borrow a fellow writer’s feedback who (after reading Silverfish) posted this. Bear in mind her favourite genre is Romantic Comedy.

From page one, I could not stop reading… It is well written, engaging and I could not stop laughing (even at the “sick” parts and even though it got a little grim)… This is obviously the work of an experienced screenwriter … It really is golden. I’m still “clutching my pearls” at some of the content but still able to give a definite thumbs up for this script.

Sincerely, Cringing but still Laughing (aka Kathy)

I’m betting this one’s going to be in hot demand. No need to hold a gun over anyone’s head; a few words of admiration via email will do, but my prediction is if you want to hear the words Crowd-pleaser and Award-Winning in the same sentence, you’d best not dilly-dally and get this one in the can.

Production notes:

Budget: Medium to Crowdfunding, but well worth the effort to put you on the map.
Locations: Predominantly a House. Hospital, Car, Drive Through Restaurant. Locations can be improvised/adapted. Minimal SFX.
Talent: Talented Adult Actors with a gift for drama & comedy.

Read the Script (30 page short, dark comedy in pdf format) and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer Tim Wolfe is an award winning screenwriter and stand-up comedian who has completed a dozen feature length specs. One of those, a murder mystery called “Dalton,” was optioned after placing as a finalist in the 2018 Big Break Contest.

Most recently, his short film “Googly” took home five awards at Cleveland’s 2023 48 Hour Film Festival, including “Best Laugh Out Loud Film.”

Tim is seeking representation so he can stop telling jokes to drunk people throughout the Midwest. Tim can be reach at: TimWolfe2427 (at) gmail.

About the Reviewer: L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film.

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Scripts of the August ’23 One Week Challenge - post author Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are the entries for the August ’23 “Fever Dream” One Week Challenge.

– Don

p.s. if anyone is interested in acquiring the scripts, please reach out to me for contact info or wait until next week when the writers are revealed.

– Don

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

New Arrival by L.P. Lapierre – available for production* - post author L. Chambers

New Arrival

After a terrible tragedy, a young father finds solace in a support group, but all is not what it seems.

In the world of screenwriting a good opening scene is imperative in grabbing the reader’s attention. It sets tone and atmosphere and is crucial in enticing us to turn the pages.

L.P. Lapierre’s psychological horror New Arrival (6 page short horor in pdf format) kicks off instantly with a very simple OVER BLACK scene, but it’s the horrific overlaid sounds of –

Screeching tires, glass and metal… and a chorus of screams…

– that immediately draws us in.

Over black scenes are used to great dramatic effect in many well revered movies: The classic 60s horror film The Innocents comes to mind featuring the eerie sound of a young girl’s mournful song, Zero Dark Thirty brings back nightmares via harrowing real-life recordings of that fateful day on September 11, Kenneth Branagh’s distress call in Infinity War calls to us from deep space, and Kill Bill Volume 1 features no other sound at the start but the Bride’s labored breathing.

Openings like these that ‘keep us in the dark’ are all the more effective because we’re going in blind but our other senses are heightened, thus conjuring our imagination to fill in the blanks.

A picture may indeed paint a thousand words but some familiar sounds can act as a gut-punch in evoking a nightmare response.

When we do FADE IN on New Arrival it is to –

A BASEMENT

It’s the middle of the day.  Six people are seated around a table, with one empty chair.

One empty chair reserved for –

a clearly distraught Bobby Stranhiem, a young man in his late 20s.

He’s ushered in by an ominous character who goes only by the name of The Caretaker.

The Caretaker circles Bobby and stops behind him.

In what appears to be a soothing gesture – He places his hands on his shoulders

And proceeds to introduce Bobby to members of a support group.

They’re a ragtag group this lot, and strangely attired. SANDY HARRISON, a nineteen year old cheer-leader who looks as though she just bounced in from a pep-rally – Sitting next to her : Forty-year old GEORGE CLEVELAND, very much the spit of a 1930’s gangster – and DWAYNE HOLLY a fifty-year old farmer who looks as if he just stepped straight from that very well known painting, American Gothic.

I’m already on edge and wondering what fate has befallen poor Bobby, and that’s before – The Caretaker addresses the group –

            CARETAKER
This is Bobby Stranhiem.

In unison…

            GROUP
Hello Bobby.

Okay, that’s standard greeting for a support group but something about this whole set-up is very creepy. On first appearance it appears like a benign coming together of like-minded people following a traumatic event, but this scene carries with it an added feeling of dread. As the Caretaker acknowledges Bobby’s suffering, (presumably in the aftermath of the opening scene), he then relays the ground rules of this place and informs Bobby that he will allow him three questions.

Bobby’s first question is:

Will I be able to leave this place?

            CARETAKER
You can not. Except for certain occasions.

            BOBBY
Occasions?

            CARETAKER
Birthdays, Anniversaries…

            BOBBY
So I’m a prisoner?

The rather mysterious and sinister answer to that question is –

            CARETAKER
We don’t use that term here.

He then goes on to inform Bobby that  –

            CARETAKER
Everyone gets the chance to
graduate. Once a year. The
graduate is promoted by the
Administrator himself

Who the hell is the Administrator?

The rest of the group laugh when Bobby asks this very question.

Okay, so at this point my guess is Bobby has been transported somewhere – maybe it’s prison, or a mental health facility, at worst it might be some cult rehab. He’s obviously here to atone for his sins; he has a chance at graduating – to what and to where we have no inkling – he can’t leave, and he can only have visitors once in a blue moon.

And then Dwayne pipes up with this bombshell:

            DWAYNE
My wife would come
and support me on her own at
first.  But… 
Eventually they forget about you.
Best you know that now, save you
years of heartache.

Bobby is adamant this will not happen to him. He’s nothing like these people, and his wife would never abandon him.

            BOBBY
It’ll be different with us.

But will it?

Apparently everyone says this.

It’s at this point of utter despair when we think all is lost that we hear –

The sound of VEHICLES approaching from outside –

Oh Eureka! Maybe Bobby’s being saved from this nightmare after all.

They stand to their feet and surround Bobby…

The group quietly makes their way to the flimsy metal door. Sandy grabs Bobby’s hand, Dwayne grabs his other hand. They all share a glance…

All I will say at this junction is, fasten your seatbelts to see what’s coming around the next bend.

Writer L.P. Lapierre skillfully weaves a tale that wrings every emotion from the reader, charting a course that begins with drama, psychological horror, suspense and intrigue, culminating in a completely unexpected final scene that completely took me by surprise by pulling at the heartstrings and packing an emotional punch.

Dare I say, New Arrival is the perfect vehicle for debuting at film festivals, and would be just the ticket for a beginner filmmaker wanting to jump-start their career. Likewise it would be a worthy addition to any seasoned professional’s showreel.

Production Notes:

Most of the action takes place in one room.
One brief exterior location.
Character costumes – easy to find or DIY.
A small ensemble cast. Adult speaking parts, mostly minimal dialogue. Additional Actor/Extras.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: L.P. Lapierre 

I’m a Graphic Designer by day. I have worked in the art department on many productions ranging from feature film to tv. Though I love that side of filmmaking, it is the writing that has brought me endless amounts of joy since my teenage years.

Improving on the craft of screenwriting is my ultimate objective, having fun while doing it is a bonus. Seeing my work on a screen is a tall task, but one that would make all the effort worth it.

About the Reviewer:

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film.

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