SILVERFISH

A simple pest problem spirals out of control.

Burn After Reading, Intermission, In Bruge, Fargo, Very Bad Things, Go, American Beauty, and the list goes on… There’s one thing these movies all have in common and that is that their narratives all feature strong elements of tragedy and very dark comedy.

Combining gallows humour with just the right amount of laugh out loud comedy and having an audience buy the blend of both is no easy task. Scenes and taboo subject matter that makes us not know whether to laugh or cry or gasp in horror or cover our eyes can be hard to watch. Tim Wolfe’s Silverfish captures this essence of Black Comedy perfectly, with the addition of also having a very clever plot.

We open on an everyday situation and an everyday bloke. At least that’s what we first think. We are introduced to Blaine Babbitt, described as –

A ‘normal enough looking dude’ in his late thirties.

The thing is, what Blaine is about to do is far from normal –

… In Blaine’s living room a silverfish crawls along the wall.

A red dot appears on its back. Blaine tracks it for a few feet, then…

BLAM!

A puff of plaster bursts into the air.

I don’t know about you but when I’m faced with creepy-crawlies I usually reach for a fly-swatter or a can of bug-spray. Blaine however, has an entirely unique and extreme method of extermination which involves shooting that pesky silverfish with a 9mm pistol.  And if that weren’t enough first equipping said pistol with an infrared laser. Talk about overkill.

What Blaine’s about to discover next though will make your hair curl. Turns out he’s just blown a hole in the living room wall and the bullet has gone straight into the bedroom wall behind it.

Did I mention Blaine’s fifteen-year-old son is home?

Upon realising the potential gravity of the situation –

Blaine staggers to the first door on the left, slowly twists the knob and enters…

Holy shit. Whatever he just saw made his blood run cold.

Did I also mention that Blaine’s wife has chosen this exact time to call?

Oh, and that a neighbour has just turned up because he’s terrified he heard a gunshot?

It’s no spoiler to reveal these details by the way, because where this tale is going and the chain of events that little silverfish has set off, well, suffice to say this is only the tip of the iceberg. Blaine’s about to discover that if he thinks things are bad now, they’re only going to get a hell of a lot worse.

The mark of an exceptionally talented writer is in giving us the unexpected, in subverting our expectations, and in entertaining us thoroughly along the way. With its blend of horror, crime-thriller, tragedy, and comedy of errors, Silverfish is quite simply rollickingly good entertainment. Every time I thought, oh no, that won’t work, or I thought I knew where the story was headed the writer surprised me with something else. The twists and turns of the plot, the characters, the humour, the seamless dialogue – wow!

As a final selling point regarding its broad appeal, I’m going to borrow a fellow writer’s feedback who (after reading Silverfish) posted this. Bear in mind her favourite genre is Romantic Comedy.

… From page one, I could not stop reading… It is well written, engaging and I could not stop laughing (even at the “sick” parts and even though it got a little grim)… This is obviously the work of an experienced screenwriter … It really is golden. I’m still “clutching my pearls” at some of the content but still able to give a definite thumbs up for this script.

Sincerely, Cringing but still Laughing (aka Kathy)

I’m betting this one’s going to be in hot demand. No need to hold a gun over anyone’s head; a few words of admiration via email will do, but my prediction is if you want to hear the words Crowd-pleaser and Award-Winning in the same sentence, you’d best not dilly-dally and get this one in the can.

Production notes:

Budget: Medium to Crowdfunding, but well worth the effort to put you on the map.
Locations: Predominantly a House. Hospital, Car, Drive Through Restaurant. Locations can be improvised/adapted. Minimal SFX.
Talent: Talented Adult Actors with a gift for drama & comedy.

Read the Script (30 page short, dark comedy in pdf format) and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer Tim Wolfe is an award winning screenwriter and stand-up comedian who has completed a dozen feature length specs. One of those, a murder mystery called “Dalton,” was optioned after placing as a finalist in the 2018 Big Break Contest.

Most recently, his short film “Googly” took home five awards at Cleveland’s 2023 48 Hour Film Festival, including “Best Laugh Out Loud Film.”

Tim is seeking representation so he can stop telling jokes to drunk people throughout the Midwest. Tim can be reach at: TimWolfe2427 (at) gmail.

About the Reviewer: L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film.

ASH HOLE (4-page short comedy screenplay) by DAVID LAMBERTSON

A fitting celebration of one’s life.

I’m sure you’ve all been to a funeral and/or wake at some moment in your life. Usually, people say nice things about the deceased and exchange fond memories. BUT… what happens when there’s nothing nice to say about the deceased? What happens when mostly everyone at the wake despises them? Well, writer David Lambertson’s hilarious dark comedy “Ash Hole” gives us an idea.

We open at a wake being held at a restaurant where we see a large, printed photo of the deceased posted up on a tripod, Bobby Joe (42 at the time of his death). His younger brothers, Jimmy and Ray have the urn with Bobby Joe’s ashes in it. And it’s made very clear that neither brother was very fond of Bobby Joe.

Jimmy makes a good counterpoint: ashes are thick and it would clog the toilet. So, Ray decides to dump a little bit into the toilet at a time. After all, it all ends up at sea anyway, right?

Soon, Jimmy gets in on the action, flushing just a little bit of the ashes down the toilet.

Neither brother wants to make a three-hour trip to the ocean to dump the rest of the remains. So they come up with a proposition to the rest of the “mourners” still at the restaurant.

And the fun doesn’t stop there: there’s even a twist to cap off an already laugh-out-loud romp. This comes highly recommended to any filmmakers looking for a hilarious, budget-friendly comedy to produce.

BUDGET: Low (one location).

ABOUT THE WRITER: David Lambertson: I took up writing rather late in life having already been retired before I put pen to paper (okay – finger to computer key) for the first time. My favorite genres to read and write are dramedies and romantic comedies. In addition to this short, I have written four features; “The Last Statesman” (a 2015 PAGE finalist and a Nicholl’s and BlueCat quarter-finalist), “The Beginning of The End and The End” (a PAGE Semi-Finalist). “Taking Stock” (a drama) and a new comedy – “Screw You Tube”. Want to learn more? Reach Dave at dlambertson (at) hotmail! And visit his website.

Read: ASH HOLE (4-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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Unrelated (5 page Comedy) by PC

A young man’s dream of getting married is ruined by his father, but saved by his mother. 5 pages

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I CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION (4-page short comedy radio play script) Written by GARY HOWELL

A radio DJ tries his best to give away a cash prize over the air, but the listeners aren’t having any part of it.

People sure are stupid. Nobody knows this more than Nebraska radio DJ, Jamie Jameson, in this hilarious winner of April’s audio-only themed Quickie Challenge.

Jamie Jameson is a small-time, rock ‘n roll radio DJ for KROK-FM in Nebraska. You can’t help but think he’s had bigger aspirations in life. In between insults towards his hollow-brained callers, he sneaks in comments about how much he hates his life, blaming the stupidity he consistently encounters for much of it – and he does this using his most professional “Casey Casum” radio DJ voice, which makes it all the more hilarious.

Today, Jamie’s taking live calls as part of a contest in which he plays the opening to a classic rock and roll song and callers must guess what the song is.

He plays the opening to the Rolling Stones hit, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and the calls immediately come pouring in… as does the stupidity.

With each horrible guess, Jamie’s comments get even darker and more depressing, to the point where he’s practically reflecting on the regretful path his life has taken.

But, there’s a glimmer of hope when he receives a call from a young woman who seems to be very close to getting the answer right…

We can’t help but feel for Jamie as he deals with idiot caller after idiot caller. But, at the same time, we can’t help but laugh.

BUDGET: Zero. It’s an audio script.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Gary Howell is an authentic Texan, yet still doesn’t own either a cowboy hat or a horse. He practiced law for 17 years, much to his chagrin. He finally scratched a life-long itch and began writing short and feature films and over the years has had four of his short films produced, had one featured optioned and has worked with Matthew George, founder of Acacia Filmed Entertainment (“LBJ”, “Wind River”). His TV Pilot, “Bounty” is in the top 2% rating wise of all scripts on Coverfly.

Read: I CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION (4-page short comedy radio play script)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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DEER FRIENDS (9-page short comedy screenplay) by BRYCE SMINK

A teenage boy wants nothing more than to live out the rest of his life out in the woods as a Deer…but his Deer-hunting Father isn’t so accepting of his son’s new life style and a wild man-hunt ensues.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve read something as original as Bryce Smink’s bizarre aburdist horror/comedy, “Deer Friends”.

The story starts off with a bang (literally) as a high school teen named Debbie sitting parked outside of her friend’s house hears gunshots from inside. Her friend, Eric, runs out and jumps into her car as his father chases him with a shotgun, blasting away.

Did I mention that Eric is wearing a deer onesie?

So, why exactly is Eric’s father trying to murder his own son? Well, to follow up on the log line (which describes the story pretty accurately), Eric has decided to “come out” to his parents and identify as a deer. Eric’s father does not approve. Not only that, but Eric’s father is also an avid deer hunter, which immediately makes them mortal enemies.

Eric’s father chases after Debbie and Eric in his pick-up truck, all the way to a national park in the woods, where Eric plans on living his life as a deer.

Although this is an absurdist comedy, the story itself is surprisingly intense. It’s essentially one long chase scene with the feel of a horror-slasher almost. But it also has elements of a screwball comedy, at least in terms of the very strange, off-beat dialogue. It felt like an episode of “The Eric Andre Show” crossed with Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof”, at least tonally.

What really impressed me about this script wasn’t just the originality, but it was how it delivered its message using a bizarre, way-the-F-out-there premise. And once you understand the message (which is kinda/sorta obvious), you realize that maybe the premise isn’t that bizarre after all. There’s a real humanity and heart to the story… while also being absurdly entertaining.

BUDGET: Low. The story takes place in a car and out in the woods. Only three characters.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Re: Bryce Smink – “I’m a young writer about to graduate high school in a year. I love writing about the weird and absurd, and mixing it with the relatable aspects of life. I’m working a part time job at small production studio (Delivering Coffee, Yah!). But besides that, nothing has really changed at all. Still just write, write, writing all the time. I’m actually working on multiple web series as a comedy Staff Writer, which is something that I’m actively pursuing.” Bryce can be found at brycesmink (a) outlook.

Read: DEER FRIENDS (9-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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CELLULOID (10-page short comedy screenplay) by RICK 5E

Two lewd and crude high school teachers are taught a valuable lesson about the importance of being discreet.

It’s been a while since there’s been a really funny, R-rated raunch-fest comedy, hasn’t it? Movies like “Bad Santa”, “Porky’s”, “Van Wilder”, “40-Year-Old Virgin”… it just doesn’t seem like they make movies like that anymore. Well, strap the f**k in, because Rick 5e’s laugh-out-loud, profanity-filled, sex-crazed romp is bringing that s***t back!

The story is centered around two hard-partying junior high school teachers (Mr. Todd and Mrs. Granger) who are really bored with their jobs. Today, they’re supervising another boring field trip at a public park.

Unfortunately for them, someone else is in the bathroom with them, secretly taking pictures. And a few days later, both teachers find themselves being blackmailed. Is it one of their students? Another teacher?

Determined to find the culprit, Mr. Todd goes through all the yearbook committee photos that were taken during the field trip. And he finds a suspicious looking white van in one of the photographs. The decal on the side of the van reads: “SHAKES THE CLOWN – FUN PARTY SHOWS AND STUF! 555-1234”.

“Celluloid” was an entry from February’s erotic-thriller themed OWC. But as you can tell by this review, it is most definitely not an erotic-thriller. In fact, it’s nothing close. But I’m glad I read it. It really was my favorite of the bunch despite not following the genre or theme.The dialogue is hilarious, thesight gags are perfectly timed and the farce of a premise had me laughing about as hard as I’ve laughed in a while. “Bad Teacher” meets “Election”, this one will have you ROTFL.

BUDGET: Medium. There are group shots (it takes place during a junior high field trip), so the cast is a bit large. But this script also has feature film potential and will be well worth its budget.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Rick 5e (pseudo), is a part-time writer, musician, and landscape aficionado living somewhere above the 49th parallel. He has been writing enthusiastically for approximately 10 years, including feature screenplays, short scripts, and various instructional models regarding script structure and outlines. “Always try to capture the ‘absurd’ when writing” is his basic tenet, a primal drive whenever typing ‘Fade In’ that may also be viewed in many of his other works that are currently available online at his personal website of curios media – Obfuscation: Hand Crafted Screenplays. Rick can be through his website.

Read: CELLULOID (10-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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MATE-ING (11-page short comedy screenplay) Written by Robert Spence

Two twenty-something friends, Mark and Nat, maneuver their way through the contemporary dating scene with disastrous results.

I, for one, was never a fan of the single life. The awkward dates, the insecurity of even approaching someone, the weak pick-up lines, getting shut down, the online dating horror stories you hear… it’s just not for me. But, if there ever was a silver lining, it was having entertaining stories to tell your friends after a bad date.

In Robert Spence’s hilariously raunchy dating comedy, Mark and Nat (Natalie) are both single twenty-somethings who happen to be platonic friends. And both have their share of dating disasters, which they enjoy sharing with each other.

The story opens with Nat having a clumsy and weird sexual soiree with a man named Brad. As the writer hilariously describes, they’re “having something that resembles sex”.On top of the awkward and labored dirty talk, Brad ends up having a bit of an accident: let’s just call it a case of premature evacuation – bowel evacuation.

But Nat, the sweet girl she is, tries to make Brad as comfortable as possible, helping him change the sheets after his poo incident. Nevertheless, it doesn’t look like they’ll be having another date.

Meanwhile, Mark is a brash and confident playboy who gets around. He has his own set of rules that he likes to follow on dates. Especially after his most recent farce of a sexual encounter with a raging cocaine addict who ends up having an overdose – at the same time the fire alarm is pulled and everyone has to evacuate outside. Talk about bad timing. Luckily, it turns out the girl was okay. It was more of her just passing out than an actual overdose. However, unluckily, Mark left his wallet in the girl’s hotel room. And he later finds out that she used the card, spending $600 – talk about an expensive date.

Now, this was written as a pilot, but it can stand alone as a short film. That being said, I really think, as a show, it has plenty of potential for some really funny episodes with interesting story lines. The writer already sets up a nice “will they, won’t they” subplot with the platonic friends who may or may not have a history of their own.

Carried by smart, funny, yet raunchy dialogue, “Mate-Ing” has a lot of potential with likable and relatable leads – highly recommended to any filmmakers looking to tickle some funny bones.

BUDGET: Low. Common, easy-to-shoot locations, four actors (two leads).

ABOUT THE WRITER: Robert Spence is a Scottish writer who currently resides in Perth, Australia. He graduated from the Screen Academy for Scotland in 2012 with a Masters in screenwriting and has written a variety of short scripts, pilot episodes and feature scripts. Robert’s goal is to improve upon his craft and hopefully have some of his work produced in the near future. Robert can be reached at rspence1989 (a) gmail.

Read: MATE-ING (11-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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Stewart is a hopeless romantic searching for the right girl. But it’s been difficult for him. He genuinely seems like a good person, but he’s not exactly the most charismatic person in the world. And his fashion sense can come across as a bit plain. He’s just a regular dude. But, overall, he also seems a bit uptight and conservative – or “stiff”, as his platonic friend Hannah tells him.

But Stewart has a date with a nurse soon. And, fully aware of his shortcomings in the fashion department, he invites his free-spirited friend, Hannah, to the mall with him to help him find a cool outfit for his hot date. On the surface, Hannah seems like Stewart’s complete opposite; she has tattoos and, even though she rocks thrift store duds, she looks pretty hip in a “grunge/skater” kind of way. But, because Stewart is completely aloof when it comes to women, Hannah seems like the right person to help him out.

As they shop around and hit up department stores, we see just how “stiff” Stewart really is when they have an exchange about coffee.

But as we follow them through the mall, through fantastic dialogue exchanges, we start to see a charming side to Stewart. And we also learn that he and Hannah tried dating at one time. Well, they had one date. Of course, it was Hannah who friend-zoned him.

However, Hannah soon learns that one date doesn’t reveal EVERYTHING about a person, as she peels back layers to Stewart’s personality and discovers a very charming side to him. In turn, Stewart learns to loosen up a little bit while finding out more about himself… ultimately revealing why he chose Hannah to come with him.

In what feels a little like “Before Sunrise” in a mall, the intelligent dialogue and charming characters really draw you into this story. Overall, this is an extremely cute, smart rom-com with natural yet witty dialogue… and a very satisfying conclusion.

BUDGET: Low… if you can find a department store or mall that is film-friendly.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Marnie is an award-winning screenwriter and 5-page contest junkie. Due to her addiction, she’s written over 80 shorts, 15 having been produced. Currently she’s working on her 8th feature, an adaptation of a horror short she wrote 10 years ago. Some of her work can be found on her site, BrainFluffs.com

Read YOU CAN’T FORCE LOVE (8-page short rom-com screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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… FOR DUMMIES (10-page short dark comedy screenplay) Written by BEN CLIFFORD

A couple planning a special evening for their anniversary have exactly one hour until their guest of honor arrives.

Another top entry from September’s OWC comes my personal favorite of the bunch – a witty, surprisingly dark, pitch-black comedy from writer, Ben Clifford, about a middle-aged couple seemingly trying to add a little excitement to their marriage on the night of their anniversary.

With one hour before their “dinner guest” arrives, David and Doreen nervously prepare for the special occasion. Why are they nervous, you ask? Well, this is the first time either of them has done (or is about to do) something like this – a menage e trois, as the French like to call it. At least that’s what it seems like they’re preparing for before their guest – a handsome stud they found on a dating app – arrives.

As the hour winds down, we’re continuously provided a countdown of sorts to remind us how much time is left before their guest arrives. And as the countdown gets closer, the couple grows even more anxious, as do we, the audience. And David begins to have second thoughts.

Full of hilarious banter between the couple as they continue to rehearse their plan, the awkwardness feels like something we’d be experiencing if it were us and our significant other. It just feels genuine … .

And then comes the ending. I won’t reveal the plot-turn here in this review, but let’s just say we’re taken into a completely different, unexpected direction. And I absolutely loved it!

BUDGET: Shoe string. Only two on-screen characters and a house/apartment. This would be super easy to film.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Ben Clifford is an Australian screenwriter interested in writing drama and comedy. He’s greatly inspired by the works of Peter Weir, Harmony Korine, the Marx Brothers, Todd Solondz, Andrea Arnold, and Cate Shortland. Ben can be reached at: cliffordben502(a)gmail.

Read: … FOR DUMMIES (10-page short dark comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

Subscribe to Michael’s YouTube Channel.