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Sunday, September 15, 2024

Original Script Sunday for September 16th - post author Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are twenty-one original scripts for your reading pleasure. And scripts from the week before are here and the Writers’ names for OWC are revealed (and Writers’ Choice).

– Don

Sunday, September 1, 2024

Original Script Sunday – Scripts of the One Week Challange - post author Don

The One Week Challenge theme was The Chase. (You can also read the scripts on the Unproduced Scripts page. If you have interest in any of these scripts, please reach out to me or wait until the names are revealed next week).

Porch Pirate by Ezster Has – A cocky porch pirate steals a package and finds himself hunted by its relentless owner, unaware of the consequences awaiting him. (Short, Drama, Crime) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Streets of Bourbon by Florist Grump – A waiter chases a patron through New Orleans to give him his wallet he left behind at the restaurant. 3 pages (Short, Comedy) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Why are we Afraid of Bears? by Boo Boo – A hiker encounters a hungry bear in the wilderness. (Short, Action) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Run by A Perpetual Loser – A routine run takes a dark turn for a carefree young jogger. (Short, Horror) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Fractured by Alan Smithee – An afflicted woman confronts past trauma by revisiting the old family home. (Short, Drama, Thriller) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Laws Of The Jungle by Chimp Chimcheree – A family of Gazelles. A pack of Lions. Nature can be cruel. (Short, Drama, Crime) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Prey For the Hunter by Chasing Ally – A female motorist with a dark past is chased by a killer to a dead end in the road. (Short, Horror) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

The Chase by Kname of Rider – With nothing else left to lose, a dad and daughter bet their last dollar on a horse that will change their lives. (Short, Family) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

chase challenge by Clever Pseudonym – She may be sexy smart but Marita means trouble. A fun Friday night chaos ensues. (Short, Sci Fi) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Border Patrol by Brother Warren – A pair of border patrol agents get more than they bargained for on a routine patrol. (Short, Drama) pdf format – Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Saturday, August 31, 2024

The Scripts of the August One Week Challenge are up! - post author Don

The theme: The Chase – Short script 2 to 6 pages. Read the short scripts of the One Week Challenge

Tuesday, July 16, 2024

No life without you, Rosanna Dreamer by Gary Kohatsu – Short Script Review – Available for Production* - post author Don

No Life Without You, Rosanna Dreamer

(short horror) 11 pages by Gary Kohatsu

Mobsters visit a nightclub performer about a debt, unaware that he is a practitioner of the black arts.

Do you enjoy a classic revenge tale with a touch of enchantment and mystery? Or perhaps a whirlwind narrative of an undying love that transcends mortal bounds? If so, you’ll be captivated by Gary Kohatsu’s “No Life Without You, Rosanna Dreamer.” A haunting story of magic, romance and revenge that is anything but ordinary.

Now, imagine yourself in the shoes of our main character, Hector, who was once hailed as a master illusionist, puppeteer, and ventriloquist. Hector is now a solitary and ailing man, grieving the loss of his cherished wife, Rosanna, cruelly snatched away by a despicable mobster. Rosanna wasn’t just his spouse; she was his exquisite soulmate and lifelong companion on the dance floor.

What does Hector do?

He recreates Rosanna in the only way he knows and soon plots his revenge against the men who tore her away from him.

Our story begins in Hector’s dilapidated dressing room, where we first meet him as he carefully prepares Rosanna. She appears to be a child with long raven hair, sitting on the table with her back turned to us —

            ROSANNA
If I sing off-key, the audience goes
apeshit. But if you sing off-key,
this act goes straight down the shitter.

HECTOR, early 40s, plops in a chair behind Rosanna.

            HECTOR
I’m the star. So please,
young lady, watch your mouth.

He’s tall, paunchy. Pallid of face with a scruffy beard.

            ROSANNA
Nobody gives a dummy’s ass
about my mouth. It’s your
mouth they are watching.

Rosanna and Hector banter back and forth, her cheeky personality shining through – so it comes as quite a surprise when Hector spins Rosanna around, revealing that she is, in fact, a ventriloquist doll with a wan smile and eyes closed…

However, those eyes flutter open to the sound of a familiar, ominous whistling tune —

            ROSANNA
Uh-oh.

Strolling out of the shadows is LON, mid-30s, thin build, slick dark hair. He’s dressed like a gangster on holiday.

            LON
Bravo. Encore. How ya doin’,
Hector? It’s me, Lon. Paying
you a friendly visit…

He moseys toward the table. Slips his fists into black leather gloves.

            LON
Thought maybe you wanna
settle your debt today.
Get it outta the way.

            HECTOR
June 20th. Please. As we
agreed.

The visit from the menacing Lon brims with subtle threats, expertly captured by Kohatsu’s sharp and on-point dialogue —

            LON
Sure thing. Me and the fellas
will be back. But I ain’t
comin’ as a friend.

            HECTOR
I perform simple feats of
magic in a night club. For
little pay. Look around. You
see anything here of value?

Lon zeroes in on Rosanna.

            LON
How ‘bout doll face? She part
of your magic act?

Hector pulls Rosanna from her chair. Holds her close.

            LON
How ‘bout I take doll face
off your hands? Show her
what a real man can do.

            HECTOR
Get out.

            ROSANNA
Sir, I’m taken.

Lon flashes a lecherous grin.

            LON
Goddamn amazin’ how you do
that ventriloquist shit.

            HECTOR
I’m not a ventriloquist.

            ROSANNA
He’s not a ventriloquist.

Nevertheless, Lon proceeds to have his way with Rosanna, on the vile notion that she “gives dynamite head” —

He jams a 9mm. Glock and silencer into Rosanna’s mouth.

            LON
Say ahh, little darlin’.

            ROSANNA
Ahhh… nuts.

Lon blasts a hole through the dummy’s head.

The narrative then unveils a brief yet chilling flashback to the night of Rosanna’s tragic demise – a beautiful bride mercilessly gunned down by Lon and his goons during her and Hector’s wedding reception. Though fleeting, the scene’s impact is profound, resonating deeply with the tale’s core emotional essence.

Returning to present day, Lon leaves Hector heartbroken once more, leaving behind the ominous threat of his imminent return to collect what he believes he is owed. Hector, unable to bear any more, resolves that it’s time for payback, and perhaps a touch of magical reincarnation. Hector proceeds to resurrect the spirit of Rosanna, with writer Gary Kohatsu intricately depicting the details of this mystical procedure. It involves Rosanna’s remains, a magician’s hat, and a glass tube containing a sacred scroll.

In a transcendent moment, after orchestrating the darkly magic ritual, Hector settles back and observes his shadow transform into the former “Magnificent Hector,” complete with hat, wand, and cape. As Hector drifts into slumber, we are ushered into a beautifully crafted dream sequence. Here, Hector envisions himself as “The Magnificent Hector,” a mesmerising magician captivating the audience on stage. Tenderly, he conjures Rosanna, his departed love, from a small casket, and she materialises as a life-sized doll –

A sparkle of life in Rosanna’s eyes. Dark hair bounces off her shoulders. She glides with the control of a ballerina.

Pirouettes – then jete, jete, jete, grand jete, and into Hector’s waiting arms.

He catches her as she transforms into:

The BEAUTIFUL WOMAN of his past. Rosanna, his BRIDE,

            HECTOR
Sounds of the rude world
heard in the day, lulled by
the moonlight have all passed away.

The couple dances in flits and flurries under the fiery spotlight. Holding each other like impassioned butterflies. Their eyes never leave each other. Like Astaire and Rogers.

Eventually, Rosanna guides Hector to a chair, where he slumps, and she bids farewell to the audience before unveiling a flame thrower and setting the room ablaze, ending the dream sequence.

The tale reaches its climax as Hector confronts Lon and his accomplices, orchestrating a dramatic showdown that leads to a fiery reckoning. The final image, both mystical and bittersweet, encapsulates the enchanting tone that pervades the narrative. I’ll leave all of that as a surprise, as it simply cannot be fully appreciated without delving into the script itself.

No Life Without You, Rosanna Dreamer seamlessly blends Neo-Noir thrills with a haunting touch of fantasy and romance. Additionally, one of my favourite characters makes an appearance – a ventriloquist dummy. Rosanna injects the story with humour, fascination, a touch of fear, but above all, a genuine sense of endearment.

I cannot tell you how much I would love to see this story play out on screen!

Production Notes: This short presents a brilliant opportunity for an up-and-coming filmmaker to showcase their ability to bring a magical story to life on screen. Talented actors would be needed to portray the roles of Hector, Lon, and Rosanna. With clever use of special effects, the budget could still be kept at a minimum for scenes like the explosion and the enchanting dream sequence. Alternatively, this story could be adapted into a delightful adult animation project.

Locations: Three: A dressing room, a restaurant and a stage.

No Life Without You, Rosanna Dreamer was runner-up in the Simply Scripts August 23 Fever Dream OWC.

About the writer: Gary Kohatsu is an aspiring, LA-based screenwriter with a love of horror, science fiction and thriller movies, and independent productions. He studied photography at Narbonne HS, which led to a career as a news writer and photographer. He taught photojournalism at the college level and has been a freelance writer/photographer for Track and Field News, and various martial arts magazines.

Read: No Life Without You, Rosanna Dreamer (short horror) 11 pages in pdf format

Discuss on the Discussion Board

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.

About the reviewer: Colin Sharp is an aspiring screenwriter whose lifelong love of film led him onto the road to writing his own stories. Whilst a fan of all genres of film, Colin primarily enjoys writing comedic tales but is also a sucker for romance and anything that will “scare the bejesus out of him”.

Monday, April 1, 2024

Sophie The Gelded Space Stallion – International Release Poster Now Available1!!! - post author Don

Sophie The Gelded Space StallionSophie the Gelded Space Stallion (432 pages in pdf format) by Don Boose

Born in the high cliffs of the mountains of Kansas, Sophie, our equine hero, is kidnapped by an ancient race of aliens from Xadu. Sophie escapes in her quest to save the universe and if not the universe, perhaps his Mother.

Slowly, but slowly making progress on getting Sophie to theaters. We finally have the international release poster completed. It’s been a long four weeks, but we think that now that our graphic artist has completed all four MS-Paint classes, the wait was worth it.
Last year we released the placeholder, pre-pre-vis teaser trailer. There is still a lot of placeholder footage and placeholder dialogue and placeholder music, but this pre-vis teaser trailer occupies the same space as the official teaser trailer will occupy when it is done.
We’ve had a lot of re-shoots over the past year as the previous footage was lost to a dumpster fire when the director of photography and most of the actors rage quit due to the fact that their mouths were unable to correctly form the words in the order that were written. And, some of them wanted to be paid. In money.

Still, look for it in theaters near you, April 2025.

About the writer: Don Boose has been spinning tales of space opera gold since 1999. Everything he touches turns to crap. He doesn’t believe in second drafts. The words come from somewhere in space, fully formed and go into his head and through his fingers on to the written page. He is not available for re-writes.

Thursday, January 18, 2024

Devil’s Due - post author L. Chambers
Devil’s Due
(8 page western/horror short)
A gambler’s plan to rob a preacher meets unexpected resistance.

Okay, saddle up folks, and hang onto your hats cause you’re in for a wild ride with today’s script review of a Western-themed Horror/Thriller, bound to be a crowd-pleaser and have you on the edge of your seats.

Modern-day Westerns or Neo-Westerns have enjoyed a resurgence of late and that’s in large part due to their versatility in being able to successfully combine genres. You only need look at The Power of the Dog, Brokeback Mountain, Rango, Bone Tomahawk, and The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. The list goes on, and this is before we even touch on the popularity of television series like Yellowstone, and videogames such as Red Dead Redemption.

Western-themed Short scripts, however, are noticeably thin on the ground so I’m delighted to showcase Paul Knauer’s mini masterpiece of entertainment and whodunnit: Devil’s Due.

We fade in on –

INT. SALOON – DAY
A two-story den of iniquity. GUNFIGHTERS drink. The BARTENDER serves.
A PIANO PLAYER tickles the ivories.

We are summarily introduced to our hero of the piece, WALT. At least we think he’s the good guy. Only time will tell…

Walt is crusty and dusty – And enjoying that favourite old-west pastime of gambling.

Poker is his game and so far he’s doing very nicely thank you. That is until a man of the cloth enters this fine establishment and disturbs the ambience.

A PREACHER, 62, shuffles into the room, his collar more dirt brown than white.

The room falls SILENT.

The Preacher moves first to the bar, holds out a large burlap sack, already heavy with coins.

PREACHER
The treacherous and the lecherous
shall go to hell, ‘less they be saved first.

Now, I don’t know about you but in my neck of the woods first impressions count for a lot and spouting fire and brimstone is definitely not going engender generosity nor win you any popularity contests.
Walt feels the same way; most certainly not taking kindly to this stranger taking his hard earned, or at least
hard-won cash.

The preacher moves down the line soliciting donations from the bar patrons. When he reaches Walt’s table —

The GAMBLERS toss coins from their stacks–all, except Walt.

Walt, eyes straight ahead, tosses two cards onto the table.

WALT
I’ll take two.

You could cut the tension with a knife.

None of the Gamblers move. Not even the DEALER.

The Preacher reaches for a large stack of Walt’s coins–one of many.
But, Walt intercepts him, slamming his hand on top of the Preacher’s.

Now Walt’s not into courtin’ trouble so he scares up one single coin, tosses it into the bag.

But the Preacher is not happy.

He leans in, whispers to Walt…

PREACHER
There are them that give, them that
take. But, the devil always gets his due.

Sounds like a thinly veiled threat to me.

Preacher takes the bag of money, slinks off upstairs with his spoils.

Now if that wasn’t enough to put Walt off his game, two good ol’ boys burst into the saloon shortly thereafter and attempt to operate a little sting of their own.

DIRK, 32, his face as twisted as his teeth, and MARVIN, 33, prettier
than Dirk, but only because his hat rides so low.

You can tell just by looking at these two that they’re trouble with a capital T, and likely not pulling a full wagon – if you get my drift. They’re perfect for what Walt has in mind, however. After a quick round of poker in which Walt cunningly lets them think they got one over him, things are about to take a turn. Walt’s got bigger fish to fry than a lil ol’ card game and he’s about to make them an offer they can’t refuse.

WALT
There’s a preacher. New in town. Comes in
every day, converts the town’s guilt into money.
It’s a shakedown. Plain and simple. But, it’s a
good one. Very lucrative. I need you boys to
help me steal that big bag of shame he carries.

We split it three ways. You up for it?

They nod.

Hmm, a simple plan. Whatever could go wrong?

Sure enough as soon as Walt’s out of earshot, the boys decide splitting a bag of money down the middle sounds a whole lot better than divvying it up into thirds.

Ever heard of the saying: Never con a conman?

Okay, I’m not going to spill the beans on the rest of the plot, except to say that what follows is a doozy of a story that follows in the tradition of Fargo and No Country for Old Men. Writer Paul Knauer weaves a tangled web of lies, deceit, and double-cross with Devil’s Due, punctuating the narrative with eccentric characters, some lovely comedy touches, and a plot that delivers not one twist, but two.

Overall, what we have here is some darn tootin’ fine storytelling on our hands.

Word to the wise: You want to burn the breeze on this one cause there’s sure to be a stampede. Best get a wriggle on. No hedging your bets, just go all in and reap the rewards.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

Devil’s Due took out first place Writer’s Choice in the Simply Scripts August OWC, with the theme of Fever Dream.

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?c-OWC/

About the Writer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE, and US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada, and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

About the Reviewer: L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia. L. Chambers can be reached at: libbych (a) hotmail.

Production Notes: Talented adult character actors and a few extras are needed for this one. Mostly interior scenes; someone who has a knack for set-dressing to recreate the wild west flavour. A creative director could easily implement a few workarounds to provide for the exterior scenes and the brief scene of actor on horseback. Minor SFX to provide additional ‘magic’. Alternatively, this is the perfect vehicle for you to show off your talents via classic 2D animation or photo real 3D, or if the writer allows to collaborate on graphic comic/novelisation of the project, and submit to sites such as hyperepics.com/

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Original Script Sunday for December 31st 2023 - post author Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are seven original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Monday, December 11, 2023

The Gambler – Available for production* - post author Paul Knauer

THE GAMBLER
(5-page short drama)
by Gary Howell

A man diagnosed with a terminal illness makes a drastic choice.

What would you do if you discovered you only had a couple of weeks to live? The Gambler by Gary Howell asks its main character just that question as 35-year-old Joe Ferguson receives the news that nobody wants to hear:

       DR. WILLISTON
The cancer you have is almost
undetectable until it’s too late.

Would your answer change if you lived just minutes from the famed Las Vegas Strip—if you could literally see it from your kitchen window? That’s the entirety of the setup that Howell creates for The Gambler. A lonely, obviously risk-averse man faces a terminal illness in a city known for taking big shots.

How do we know that Joe is risk-averse? Howell deftly sets things up with several simple clues: He describes Joe’s Las Vegas home as “threadbare, sparsely decorated.” Big-spender Joe eats a bowl of cereal for dinner, sorting through a steady parade of bills. And, we soon find out, Joe is sitting on a pile of cash. Add it all up: Joe is a saver, reluctant even to spend his money on his own bills.

That’s the heart of The Gambler, as we watch one piece of information—imminent death—transform someone into a completely new person. The Saver instantly becomes The Gambler.

What’s particularly interesting, though, is how Howell sets up Joe’s mindset for the big moment through a simple exchange with a friend.

       JOE
What am I going to do, go to Paris?
I’ll be in hospice before you know it,
and that’ll be fully covered by my
medical insurance.

       BUCK
And if you win?

Joe finally stops, faces Buck.

       JOE
This is Vegas, Buck. Nobody wins
in Vegas except the house.

Joe knows he’s going to lose. So, why does he want to risk all of his money on one round of blackjack? Is it truly only that he has nothing to lose? Maybe. It’s open for interpretation, but I see the moment as Joe saying to death: “You can’t take everything from me if I take it from me first.” Whatever his motivation, he’s plowing straight ahead. 

Soon, he’s sitting at the table.

       DEALER
Cards coming out.

The first card comes to Joe face down, then the dealer deals himself a card down.

The next card to Joe comes face up. An eight. Joe frowns, but not nearly as hard as he does when the dealer’s next card comes up — an ace.

       BUCK
Shit.

Joe flips his under card over. It’s another eight.

       DEALER
Sixteen.

       JOE
Welp. Maybe this wasn’t such a
good idea after all.

He drums his fingers on the table. After what seems like an eternity considering it:

It’s the moment Howell has been setting up from page one: the choice. How far will Joe take this? Well, I’m not going to leave you hanging. Yet.

       JOE
Hit me.

The dealer takes the next card, flips it over and slides it in front of Joe.

Joe sucks in what seems like all the oxygen in the room. It’s a three.

       DEALER
Nineteen.

Joe waves his hand over the cards. Gets up from his chair and as the dealer flips over his hole card, we– 

SMASH CUT TO: 

EXT. BELLAGIO HOTEL – AFTERNOON 

Now I’m going to leave you hanging! But, don’t fret, it could be worse. I’ll let Howell explain: “I had toyed with the idea of a ‘Sopranos’ type ending where you think you know what happened, but aren’t necessarily sure because it would cut to black after Joe steps out of the casino. In giving it more consideration, I thought that in a 5-page script like this one, the reader (and ultimately, the viewer of the film) really wants to have a resolution, and I think the way it ended tied things up, but also allows the reader to imagine what happens with the character afterward.”

Of course, I’m going to make you read the script itself to know what Howell decided. Anything else wouldn’t be as fun. And, in the end, that’s what Howell’s script is: fun. Yes, it’s a drama. Yes, there are heavy themes. But, anybody familiar with Howell’s previous work knows, he writes from the heart, and with a certain, very personal, style. He’s not afraid to write about tragedy or personal heartbreak, but when he does, there’s always another layer. Howell explained. “Being who I am, I’ve always tried to find some sort of positivity and humor in all situations and will try to inject that into my scripts.” The Gambler has that extra layer. It’s well worth the read and definitely worthy of production.

Production Notes: At first glance, the production challenges look daunting for a short: Las Vegas, Bellagio, the fountains…unless you’re looking for an excuse to write off a trip to Vegas, it might seem too much. Howell wants you to look closer, “I think this can actually be filmed using a lot of stock footage of Vegas—it doesn’t have to be big budget. At its heart, this is a character-driven story and can be shot in a minimalistic way.” 

Locations: A doctor’s office, a sparse residence, Las Vegas strip, Bellagio exterior and interior.

**The Gambler by Gary Howell received the Writer’s Choice Award in SimplyScripts’ September ’23 One Week Challenge.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: Gary Howell is a native Texan, yet still doesn’t own a cowboy hat. He practiced law for 17 years before finally scratching a life-long itch and started writing short and feature films. He’s had four of his short films produced, one feature optioned and has worked with producer Matthew George (“LBJ”, “Wind River”). Coverfly featured his TV pilot “Bounty” in a recent live virtual table read.

About the Reviewer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE, and US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada, and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

Find more scripts available for production

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Tears In Heaven by Matthew Taylor – Available for production* - post author Paul Knauer

TEARS IN HEAVEN
6 page short drama in pdf format
by Matthew Taylor

Sometimes anguish is too much to bear.

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven? Fans of Eric Clapton certainly recognize the iconic, haunting lines from his hit song Tears In Heaven. Lines that also serve as the inspiration for Matthew Taylor’s emotional short, dealing with the same issue that led Clapton to write the original: a father’s lament at the loss of his son. “I want their heartstrings tugged so hard that their eyes leak. But most of all I want the audience to relate to it,” said Taylor. “I don’t think there are many people on the planet who haven’t lost someone close to them and battled with thoughts of an afterlife, so I’m hoping everyone can connect with it in some way.”

Written as part of SimplyScript’s One Week Challenge series, themed around an inspirational song, Tears In Heaven, the short, uses only 6 pages to weave a deeply moving tale of grief. Despite the challenge-limited page count, Taylor takes his time with the setup, establishing an otherworldly tone from the start as a character simply named KEEPER, dressed in white, guards a village hall:

Like a statue, Keeper watches the horizon until something grabs his attention, he leans forward for a better look at…

RICHARD (27) dashing towards him in a black suit and tie.

Richard nears the hall when Keeper glides preternaturally towards him and blocks his path.

                  KEEPER
             How did you get here?

Richard quickly changes course and walks around him, heads for the hall—

–Keeper appears in front of him again. Richard stops.

                  KEEPER
             You shouldn’t be here.

Richard wants inside the hall—NEEDS inside the hall—but Keeper has a job to do. 

                  KEEPER
             Forbidden.

Richard’s agony is evident, and Keeper not without heart.

                  KEEPER
             How did you get here?

Keeper looks down. A steady flow of blood trickles from under Richard’s sleeve, drips from his fingertips.

Keeper closes his eyes, pain etched on his face. He opens them, a tear trickles down his cheek.

He steps aside, gestures for Richard to go ahead.

Inside the hall, we discover the source of Richard’s pain, and how he’s forced to confront the reality: He can’t stay here, no matter his desire. The scenes and visuals that follow are powerful as Taylor expertly spins his story. “I didn’t want to write a script about the story that inspired the song, but wanted to convey the sorrow/torment (also acceptance) that lies in Clapton’s masterful lyrics. On a personal level, and I’m sure it is the same for most parents, but the thought of losing a child is my biggest fear, which is why the song hits so hard whenever I hear it, and I wanted to manifest that fear into the script.”

It’s not an overtly religious script, but Taylor explains that there are religious underpinnings. “I tried to include some biblical elements. Such as Richard’s black clothes in contrast to Keeper’s white (suffering, death, and sin Vs purity and forgiveness)” Taylor adds, “Isaiah 1:18 ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.’ was another contrast I liked, with the dripping blood against the Keeper’s white clothes to symbolize forgiveness.”

You’ll have to read the script to see how masterfully Taylor wraps the story, but a clue can be found in one more biblical reference. “The end was inspired by the verse: Psalm 30:11. ‘You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.’”

It’s a gut punch of an ending that will leave you smiling through tears.

Production Notes: Tears In Heaven is a challenging, yet, relatively modest short to produce, with a small cast, including several extras and one child actor, aged 4.

Locations: As described, the script opens outside a “Village Hall” situated in the middle of a vast field. The interior Village Hall shots intentionally don’t match the exteriors: a large child’s birthday party (generic enough for shooting simplicity.) The remaining location is a church interior, set up for a child’s funeral.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: Matthew Taylor is an amateur screenwriter trying to bring interesting stories and characters to the world. His focus is mainly on Sci-fi and fantastical stories, usually with some dark undertones. He has sold a few short scripts with a couple of productions and is now looking to move on to features and pilots.

About the Reviewer: Paul Knauer is a produced screenwriter with two features in early development. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart. But, Paul believes becoming a better writer requires pushing personal boundaries, so you’ll notice a thorough mix of genres in his portfolio. Much of his work has universal appeal, evidenced by successful productions in the UK, UAE, and the US–and options in Australia, Russia, India, Canada, and Thailand. A recent feature of his was named a 2022 Nicholl Fellowship Quarterfinalist.

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