In the world of screenwriting a good opening scene is imperative in grabbing the reader’s attention. It sets tone and atmosphere and is crucial in enticing us to turn the pages.

L.P. Lapierre’s psychological horror New Arrival (6 page short horor in pdf format) kicks off instantly with a very simple OVER BLACK scene, but it’s the horrific overlaid sounds of –

Screeching tires, glass and metal… and a chorus of screams…

– that immediately draws us in.

Over black scenes are used to great dramatic effect in many well revered movies: The classic 60s horror film The Innocents comes to mind featuring the eerie sound of a young girl’s mournful song, Zero Dark Thirty brings back nightmares via harrowing real-life recordings of that fateful day on September 11, Kenneth Branagh’s distress call in Infinity War calls to us from deep space, and Kill Bill Volume 1 features no other sound at the start but the Bride’s labored breathing.

Openings like these that ‘keep us in the dark’ are all the more effective because we’re going in blind but our other senses are heightened, thus conjuring our imagination to fill in the blanks.

A picture may indeed paint a thousand words but some familiar sounds can act as a gut-punch in evoking a nightmare response.

When we do FADE IN on New Arrival it is to –

A BASEMENT

It’s the middle of the day.  Six people are seated around a table, with one empty chair.

One empty chair reserved for –

a clearly distraught Bobby Stranhiem, a young man in his late 20s.

He’s ushered in by an ominous character who goes only by the name of The Caretaker.

The Caretaker circles Bobby and stops behind him.

In what appears to be a soothing gesture – He places his hands on his shoulders

And proceeds to introduce Bobby to members of a support group.

They’re a ragtag group this lot, and strangely attired. SANDY HARRISON, a nineteen year old cheer-leader who looks as though she just bounced in from a pep-rally – Sitting next to her : Forty-year old GEORGE CLEVELAND, very much the spit of a 1930’s gangster – and DWAYNE HOLLY a fifty-year old farmer who looks as if he just stepped straight from that very well known painting, American Gothic.

I’m already on edge and wondering what fate has befallen poor Bobby, and that’s before – The Caretaker addresses the group –

Okay, that’s standard greeting for a support group but something about this whole set-up is very creepy. On first appearance it appears like a benign coming together of like-minded people following a traumatic event, but this scene carries with it an added feeling of dread. As the Caretaker acknowledges Bobby’s suffering, (presumably in the aftermath of the opening scene), he then relays the ground rules of this place and informs Bobby that he will allow him three questions.

Bobby’s first question is:

The rather mysterious and sinister answer to that question is –

He then goes on to inform Bobby that  –

Who the hell is the Administrator?

The rest of the group laugh when Bobby asks this very question.

Okay, so at this point my guess is Bobby has been transported somewhere – maybe it’s prison, or a mental health facility, at worst it might be some cult rehab. He’s obviously here to atone for his sins; he has a chance at graduating – to what and to where we have no inkling – he can’t leave, and he can only have visitors once in a blue moon.

And then Dwayne pipes up with this bombshell:

Bobby is adamant this will not happen to him. He’s nothing like these people, and his wife would never abandon him.

But will it?

Apparently everyone says this.

It’s at this point of utter despair when we think all is lost that we hear –

The sound of VEHICLES approaching from outside –

Oh Eureka! Maybe Bobby’s being saved from this nightmare after all.

They stand to their feet and surround Bobby…

The group quietly makes their way to the flimsy metal door. Sandy grabs Bobby’s hand, Dwayne grabs his other hand. They all share a glance…

All I will say at this junction is, fasten your seatbelts to see what’s coming around the next bend.

Writer L.P. Lapierre skillfully weaves a tale that wrings every emotion from the reader, charting a course that begins with drama, psychological horror, suspense and intrigue, culminating in a completely unexpected final scene that completely took me by surprise by pulling at the heartstrings and packing an emotional punch.

Dare I say, New Arrival is the perfect vehicle for debuting at film festivals, and would be just the ticket for a beginner filmmaker wanting to jump-start their career. Likewise it would be a worthy addition to any seasoned professional’s showreel.

Production Notes:

Most of the action takes place in one room.
One brief exterior location.
Character costumes – easy to find or DIY.
A small ensemble cast. Adult speaking parts, mostly minimal dialogue. Additional Actor/Extras.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: L.P. Lapierre 

I’m a Graphic Designer by day. I have worked in the art department on many productions ranging from feature film to tv. Though I love that side of filmmaking, it is the writing that has brought me endless amounts of joy since my teenage years.

Improving on the craft of screenwriting is my ultimate objective, having fun while doing it is a bonus. Seeing my work on a screen is a tall task, but one that would make all the effort worth it.

About the Reviewer:

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film.