CELLULOID (10-page short comedy screenplay) by RICK 5E

Two lewd and crude high school teachers are taught a valuable lesson about the importance of being discreet.

It’s been a while since there’s been a really funny, R-rated raunch-fest comedy, hasn’t it? Movies like “Bad Santa”, “Porky’s”, “Van Wilder”, “40-Year-Old Virgin”… it just doesn’t seem like they make movies like that anymore. Well, strap the f**k in, because Rick 5e’s laugh-out-loud, profanity-filled, sex-crazed romp is bringing that s***t back!

The story is centered around two hard-partying junior high school teachers (Mr. Todd and Mrs. Granger) who are really bored with their jobs. Today, they’re supervising another boring field trip at a public park.

Unfortunately for them, someone else is in the bathroom with them, secretly taking pictures. And a few days later, both teachers find themselves being blackmailed. Is it one of their students? Another teacher?

Determined to find the culprit, Mr. Todd goes through all the yearbook committee photos that were taken during the field trip. And he finds a suspicious looking white van in one of the photographs. The decal on the side of the van reads: “SHAKES THE CLOWN – FUN PARTY SHOWS AND STUF! 555-1234”.

“Celluloid” was an entry from February’s erotic-thriller themed OWC. But as you can tell by this review, it is most definitely not an erotic-thriller. In fact, it’s nothing close. But I’m glad I read it. It really was my favorite of the bunch despite not following the genre or theme.The dialogue is hilarious, thesight gags are perfectly timed and the farce of a premise had me laughing about as hard as I’ve laughed in a while. “Bad Teacher” meets “Election”, this one will have you ROTFL.

BUDGET: Medium. There are group shots (it takes place during a junior high field trip), so the cast is a bit large. But this script also has feature film potential and will be well worth its budget.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Rick 5e (pseudo), is a part-time writer, musician, and landscape aficionado living somewhere above the 49th parallel. He has been writing enthusiastically for approximately 10 years, including feature screenplays, short scripts, and various instructional models regarding script structure and outlines. “Always try to capture the ‘absurd’ when writing” is his basic tenet, a primal drive whenever typing ‘Fade In’ that may also be viewed in many of his other works that are currently available online at his personal website of curios media – Obfuscation: Hand Crafted Screenplays. Rick can be through his website.

Read: CELLULOID (10-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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