Outcall by Chris Beadnell

An elderly man gets a visit from a new home health aide – one with added benefits!

First impressions count. Especially at the start of a new job. It’s a chance to let your professionalism shine, and prove why you were hired in the first place – while demonstrating your top notch skill-set first hand.

This is the situation young Bambi finds herself in at the beginning of Chris Beadnell’s comedy short, Outcall.

A new girl at her agency, Bambi’s got to impress her boss, and satisfy her clients – totally. As we join her in her new venture, she’s preparing to meet a new customer. Is the girl dressed properly? Check. Does she know what her task entails? Double check.

But when she arrives at the address, confusion rears it’s ugly head. Because this locale isn’t your usual meet for Bambi’s line of work. And not a typical client either.

It’s not often you get an 82-year-old man named John requesting the following from a 20-something girl:

            BAMBI
So I have a shave, a back wash
and a massage. That’s what we’re
doing?

Then Bambi realises something else: the senile senior… stinks on ice! So she adds a quick shower to the list of on –the-job services, and gives the octogenarian a wet scrubbing. In the shower. Buck naked. An experience John relishes. Ah, customer service at its best!

But halfway through the shaving routine, two major twists run this train right off its tracks:

   Bambi’s phone rings.
   There’s a hurried knock at the door.

Maybe that’s coincidence. Or these events are connected. But if so – how? Only one person knows for sure, and that won’t be you…until you read the script!

This certainly ain’t a family friendly short, but it’s audience-friendly all the way. That ridiculous shower scene is a total gem: providing a mix of amusing/mature entertainment… with clever plot revelations along the way. It’s not often you see those two adjectives in the same sentence, but Outcall weds them instantly. Now, all it needs is the perfect Minister (um, “Director”) to finish the job… even if Bambi can’t.

Pick this one up, and you’ll be called in to many award ceremonies! With satisfied “clients” all the way!

Budget: Pretty low. Your primary priority: two great actors… with great comedic timing and chemistry!

About the writer, Chris Beadnell: With a 30+ year paramedic career, bearing witness to the complete spectrum of human emotion, I would use the creativity of writing as an escape from the reality of such a high pressure occupation. Most of my writing was never seen by anyone except a very select group of family and friends, and sometimes not even them. However, a serious eye injury in 2015 had me off work for months and the boredom of not working gave me the time and desire to learn the craft of script writing, and the stories locked in my mind finally had an avenue to flow. Chris can be reached out Cbeadnell (a) ymail.com or ChrisBeadnell.wordpress.com. Check out his other works.

Read Outcall (7 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Hamish Porter is a writer who, if he was granted one wish, would ask for the skill of being able to write dialogue like Tarantino. Or maybe the ability to teleport. Nah, that’s nothing compared to the former. A lover of philosophy, he’s working on several shorts and a sporting comedy that can only be described as “quintessentially British”. If you want to contact him, he can be emailed: hamishdonaldp (a) gmail. If you’d like to contact him and be subjected to incoherent ramblings, follow him on Twitter @HamishP95.