Over on the Unproduced Scripts page there are twenty five original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

A Million Ways to Lose Money as a Writer –

Part Six (and Final!)

When I moved to LA I bought 200 business cards that said “Writer/Director” on them. I was told I needed them. In the end, I handed them out to a total of 2 people. A few years later I bought 200 more business cards, this time proudly proclaiming that I was just a “Writer”. I handed those cards out to about 7 people. I once handed my business card to a working, professional writer. He looked at it, paused for a second, and said “Huh. Don’t think I’ve ever given someone a business card.” The lesson: a piece of scrap paper will do just as well and not cost you 20 bucks + shipping and handling. Or just get their contact information. It’ll give you a reason to follow-up with them, and doesn’t place the burden on them to reach out. (Ex: “Hey, shooting you a quick e-mail to say it was great to meet you the other day and blah, blah, blah.”)

My point: it’s not all weasels and sheisters out there trying to get your money. Sometimes it’s bad advice or just plain bad judgment that can chip away at your wallet. And while 20 bucks might not seem like a lot at the time, as the years pile up, so do the dollars. As with most attempts to make it in the industry, the compulsion to pull out my cash was rooted in fear: What if I go to a networking event and I don’t have a business card? And because I don’t, I lose out on a potential connection? Well, I better shell out the $20, just in case. There’s a lot of “just in case” type scenarios in screenwriting, mostly rooted in the fear that you’re going to pass up an opportunity; be it a producer/consultant dangling their “connections” over your head or a screenplay competition that promises to pass your script along to “all the right people”.

Side note: There’s a lot of screenplay competitions out there and only a handful of good ones. Most of them will either offer you cash or connections as a grand prize. While the cash is nice, be wary of the connections. A couple of years ago, I won the grand prize in a screenwriting competition that’s pretty well known and promised to get my script into all the right hands. The script was a universal crowd-pleaser and, given that it had just won a competition, I was pretty confident that someone would get back to me. Weeks passed, and then a month. Nothing. I decided to reach out to past winners, and ask their experience with the competition (something I should have done before). The consensus: no one ever heard anything from the vast list of producers, managers, companies, and agents the competition flaunted. I don’t know why, but my guess is that the ever-growing list contained a lot of people who, at one time or another were game to read material, but eventually lost interest as the years passed. I know it seems obvious, but do your research. Look up past winners and see what’s happening with them. Seriously. Entry fees add up.

Odds are, you work a day job and write on the side. You might even have a family. (And if you don’t have a family, the thought of getting one and still not having made it as a writer probably terrifies you. I know it did for me.) Either way, writing is not your job yet, and you’re most likely putting more money into writing than you’re getting out of it. (Even those script registration fees start to add up.) So approach every expenditure with caution. Do you really NEED that business card? Is paying for coverage really worth it? Will this film festival/competition actually give you anything in return? Should I give this person money to get my script made? (Note: if you give someone money to make your script after reading this series, there is no hope for you.)

I’ve stopped spending money trying to “make it”. I don’t buy coverage, I don’t enter contests, and I certainly will never pay someone to query my work again. I have a daughter now, and I think of her every time I’m dealing with money. When you’re choosing between feeding your kid and printing a business card, the choice is pretty easy.

So, to sum up: Have a baby. That fixes everything.

About the writer: A talented writer and 10 year veteran of the industry, “P.J. McNeill” has seen it all (and he’s ready to kiss and tell.) Got a question, a comment or just general bile /praise you want to spew?  Email PJ at pjscriptblog@gmail.com. New to P.J. readership?  Click here for more articles!

Deadline: July 11, 2014

The 18th LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL SHORT FILM FESTIVAL July 24-31, 2014 is accepting film & script submissions. The festival is accredited by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA).

2014 LA Shorts Screenplay Competition $1,000 CASH PRIZE

All genres welcome

Guaranteed acceptance into the 2015 LA Shorts Fest.
Scripts must be under 15 pages
Script feedback

Deadline: July 11, 2014

LA Shorts Fest alumni directors includes Tim Burton, Bryan Singer, Paul Haggis, Shane Black, Jason Reitman, John Woo, Tony Scott, David Lynch, Joe Carnahan, Louis D’Esposito, Terry Gilliam, Jon Favreau, Scarlett Johansson, Vin Diesel, Hilary Swank, Demi Moore, Courteney Cox, Jessica Biel, Kirsten Dunst, Ralph Macchio, Ricky Gervais and many more.

Submit online www.LAshortsFest.com
For more information send email to info@lashortsfest.com

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* before entering any screenwriting contest, I encourage you, the writer, to check out MovieBytes.com which features a comprehensive database and reviews of screenwriting contests and competitions. This site will help you make an informed decision before entering any contest.

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are twenty original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

A Million Ways to Lose Money as a Writer – Part Five

A few years ago I tried to make a feature film, and as a result, I lost about $10,000 in the process. The $10,000 was a mixture of money I had raised, money I had borrowed and money that was just plain mine. It went towards website design, business plans, financial analysis, visual guides for investors, lawyer fees, the overall costs of running what ended up being a small business (LLC), and finally, consultant fees.

Now, while it might seem as though I’ve been going on a tangent with this feature film business, I assure you, this is all still related to screenwriting. Here’s how:

1) Many of you will fall into the same trap I did. Someone will tell you (or you’ll tell yourself) that it’ll be a piece of cake to make your (feature) script yourself. I was convinced I could make the film for a “cheap” $100,000. Problem is, investors usually want to jump onto a project where they can put in a lot, and as a result, get back a lot. A $100,000 indie film doesn’t really entice many of your typical investors. So people will tell you to push the budget up, and next thing you know you’ll be walking around, pitching a 5 million dollar indie film, wondering what you need that extra 4.9 million for anyway. You’ll try to bring on talent, but real talent won’t want to sign on unless there’s money involved. And the money won’t come without the talent. So…you’re stuck.

Note: When I tried doing this, the whole Kickstarter feature film movement hadn’t become a thing yet, so the idea of raising my initial “low” budget seemed foolish. It probably still is, honestly. (I raised money for development, but not for the film budget itself.) Joe Dante, a man with name recognition and a proven track record, had problems raising a similar amount for his last film, and he’s Joe Dante. No one knows who I am. And odds are, they don’t know who you are either. This is not me trying to be a cynical pessimistic ass, out to crush your dreams. This is me being someone who’s been there, trying to get you to think things through before you start going to friends and family, telling of your grand plans to make a feature film. Friends and family remember. I still get the question “Hey, what happened with (insert film here)?” five years later. And it still hurts every – single – time.

2) Consultants. I’ve run into many consultants both while trying to become a writer and while trying to make my film. Sometimes they’ll call themselves “producers” to jazz it up a bit, but it’s always the same deal. It’s someone with “connections” or a filmography that looks impressive, but upon closer inspection has some suspicious holes in it. For example, they’ll have produced (or had some vague part in) some films in the 80’s or 90’s, but then have absolutely nothing up to present day. Eddie Kritzer, the agent (who doubled as a consultant) that I talked about in Part I, talked up his involvement on Kids Say the Darndest Things, and proudly displayed a picture he had taken with Bill Cosby on his front page. They’ll also boast about all the films they have “in development”. One producer/consultant who contacted me had 6 films in development all by her lonesome. Eventually you start to wonder: why aren’t any of these getting made?

Most importantly, they’ll want to be paid for their “services”. They’ll talk about what they “bring to the table”, and how their time is important and they’ll name drop like crazy. One producer had a small credit on a Danny DeVito film from over two decades ago. It was her only credit, and she boldly told me “I think we could get Danny DeVito for this. I’ve worked with him before.” She then, of course, went on to tell me her fee was $2,000 up front. I like Danny DeVito and all, but not enough to drop $2,000 for the off-chance he’d look at my script.

I’d like to say that I’ve never given a consultant my money, but unfortunately that simply isn’t the case. For this project, as a last resort, I was duped into giving a fast-talking consultant a couple thousand dollars. Now, I didn’t just blindly hand it over to him either. I’m a very skeptical person, and I vetted this person like crazy: references, Better Business Bureau, and personal assurances from people I trusted. In the end, my money literally got me nothing, save for renewed skepticism towards trusting anyone.

My co-producer on the film later talked with a top executive at Alcon Entertainment about our dealings with the consultant. After hearing the story he laughed, saying “Never pay someone to make your movie.”He paused and raised a finger. “Unless they know Bill Cosby. That guy’s hilarious.”

(Ok, only half of that is true.)

**One more part to go, then all this money business will be over!**

About the writer: A talented writer and 10 year veteran of the industry, “P.J. McNeill” has seen it all (and he’s ready to kiss and tell.) Got a question, a comment or just general bile /praise you want to spew?  Email PJ at pjscriptblog@gmail.com. New to P.J. readership?  Click here for more articles!

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are twenty four original scripts for reading pleasure.

– Don

A Million Ways to Lose Money as a Writer – Part Four

It wasn’t long before I decided that I should drop the idea of trying to become a writer/director. I was going to focus my efforts on strictly becoming a writer. But I still didn’t know what to do. I figured the best thing was to seek guidance from a professional. But there was one problem: I didn’t know any professionals.

I did, however, know a cartoon fish.

Let me back up.

During my time at the post-production house, I came to find out that one of my co-workers used to be a child actor, and made it big when he landed the role of a certain cartoon fish in a certain blockbuster kid’s film that, for legal reasons, we shall call The Small Fish Girl. When I found out that he was in The Small Fish Girl, I immediately geeked out and asked a million questions: “Was the small fish girl nice?”, “What was it like being in the lime light?” and “Why weren’t you in the sequel?” It was only a couple of months later that I realized that he might be able to help me beyond satisfying my need for pop culture minutia. Turns out, he had a friend who had made it big as a screenwriter. Like, really big. Like, movie opening nationwide TODAY big. (Don’t you hate it when people write articles and DON’T specifically name drop but vaguely allude to the person instead? I have this friend – a big A-list producer that you’d recognize in an instant – who does it all the time. So tasteless.)

So I asked my co-worker if I could interview his friend. Nothing beyond that. I wasn’t planning to use him as my “in” or toss my script at the guy; I just wanted his advice.

Side note: Don’t use people as “opportunities”. They can tell when you’re trying to. Look, I understand: this is a business made on connections. But that doesn’t mean you have to be sleazy or overly forward about it. Over the years I’ve had lots of coffees and dinners with people way better off than me. And while, in the back of my mind, I always hoped it would lead to something, I never went in expecting it. You have to realize: you’re not the first person to come to them, expecting them to hand over the keys to Hollywood. Odds are, they’re desperately trying to hold onto those keys for themselves, worried about the day they might slip away. If they can help you, and they like you, odds are they’ll offer themselves. I’m serious: I’ve never once had to ask; help has always been offered.

Anyway, I called the professional writer (herein referred to as The Pro) when he was taking a break from being on set of his latest film. He had been prepped that I was calling to talk about “how I could make it as a screenwriter”, so I imagined he had thought of several answers to toss my way. I introduced myself and said something to the effect of “Now that I’m in LA, I was hoping you could shed some light on the steps I could take to make it as a screenwriter. I’ve got a script and I’m just trying to figure out what I can do with it.” I knew the question was broad, but I honestly didn’t know how else to ask it. I guess I thought that he could give me a few broad answers and then we could work from there, narrowing it down with more specific questions.

Silence. Dead silence. I worried I had said something stupid. Then The Pro expelled a long, deep breath and said, “I don’t know, man….make it yourself?” Make. It. Myself. I immediately deflated. I had come to this guy asking how I could make it as a professional writer, and his advice was to become a professional writer/director. It was like asking someone “What’s the best way to get a Masters degree?” and their response is “I don’t know, man… get a PhD?”

But here’s the crazy thing: I took his advice. He had done it, so how hard could it be? (Note: the reason he had done it is because he was a child actor who made friends with a casting director who took his script and personally handed it to an A-list star. I was not a child actor; although at age 11 I did shoot a remake of Mission Impossible with my sister – who subsequently stormed off because I was too demanding a director, leaving me to finish the whole thing by myself. So same thing, really.)

So, how hard could it be? Really hard. And it would take me 2 years of my life, numerous favors and severed connections, and almost ten thousand dollars to figure it out…

To be continued next week….

About the writer: A talented writer and 10 year veteran of the industry, “P.J. McNeill” has seen it all (and he’s ready to kiss and tell.) Got a question, a comment or just general bile /praise you want to spew?  Email PJ at pjscriptblog@gmail.com. New to P.J. readership?  Click here for more articles!

** I think Seth MacFarlane’s flick is out of the theaters now.  So I guess we can stop this tangent, right…?

On the Unproduced Scripts page are twenty three original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don